Sunday, June 5, 2011

Addiction and Islam – The Disease and its Cure

In The name of Allah,The Most Merciful,The Most gracious

Addiction and Islam – The Disease and its Cure

Self Development

We live in a culture in which mass advertising glorifies excessive consumption and the near instant gratification of desires. “Having it now” unfortunately, proves to be a slippery slope for millions, and uninhibited desires prove to be like an uncontrollable fire, growing stronger each time they are fed. Some desires becomes overriding compulsions that could take years to overcome, if at all. The word addiction is often used to describe such a condition.

What exactly is addiction? The term “addiction” is used in many contexts to describe an obsession, compulsion, or excessive physical dependence or psychological dependence, such as: drug addiction, alcoholism, compulsive overeating, problem gambling, computer addiction, etc. In other words, addiction has many forms, some of them related to substances such as drugs or alcohol, while others are related to extreme psychological dependence of the individual on behaviors such as gambling, overeating, and increasingly internet surfing.

Nearly 14 million Americans meet diagnostic criteria for alcohol use disorders

Estimates of the economic costs of just alcohol abuse, collected by the World Health Organization, vary from one to six per cent of a country’s GDP . Countries around the world spend hundreds of billions of dollars in combating the drug trade, rehabilitating drug addicts and in dealing with the health and social costs of the increased use of narcotics by young people and teenagers. Addiction to pornography is afflicting millions in every age group around the world, leading to decreased productivity, and an increase in crimes against women and children.

The fact that addictions of various types have grown into enormous social problems that are threatening not only individuals and families but entire societies is clear. Addictions in fact, are the scourge of the human civilization, and the urgency of making a global effort to eradicate them is more critical than ever.

Efforts So far

Countries around the world have tried hard to control if not eradicate various addictions in their societies. Although millions have freed themselves from the slavery of their base instincts, millions more continue to fall into this abyss. The number of addicted individuals, both in real terms and as a percentage of the total population, has skyrocketed in recent times.

Let us explore how Islam views the problem, and how its prescriptions and world-view might be an antidote.

Moderation – An Islamic Virtue

One of the salient features of the Islamic world-view is a balanced and moderate outlook on life and its challenges. Islam recognizes that human beings have natural desires, and prescribes ways of fulfilling these desires without allowing the desires to take control of one’s life. The Glorious Qur’an says:

“O Children of Adam! wear your beautiful apparel at every time and place of prayer: eat and drink: But waste not by excess, for Allah loveth not the wasters.” [Al-Qur’an 7:31]

The Islamic virtue of moderation is prescribed at both an individual and at a collective level. Islam views the natural resources of the world, and indeed human life itself, as a trust from God. Accordingly, every individual is accountable for how he or she spends these resources. Profligacy is considered a major sin in Islam.

Islam’s View of the Self

Islam’s broader approach towards human life is through the recognition of the human soul as being composed of essentially three elements:

Nafs al-Ammarah (soul commanding to evil or evil-inciting soul)
Nafs al-Lawwamah (self-reproaching soul)
Nafs al-Mutma’innah (tranquil, peaceful soul)

The goal of every Muslim is to be aware of the stage of his or her own soul, and to strive to reach the stage of tranquility and peace that can only come about through a disciplined life in obedience to God.

The soul commanding to evil grips the individual in a state of forgetfulness. Addiction, and indeed, all human infractions stem from such a state, where the human being is heedless of the purpose of life, heedless of the Creator, and of the Day when all human beings will be held accountable for their actions. It is this state of forgetfulness that the individual must strive to overcome, and work progressively towards a state of awareness. The Glorious Qur’an says:

“And be ye not like those who forgot Allah, and He made them forget their own souls! Such are the rebellious transgressors!” [Al-Qur’an 59:19]

In overcoming addiction therefore, one is required to shun heedlessness and feel remorse for having allowed one’s soul to be controlled by one’s lower desires.

For others who, although self-aware to some extent, do succumb momentarily to the evil-inciting soul, the remembrance of the pine and His commandments are often sufficient to restore the balance and quickly exit the state of heedlessness.

For those who, while fulfilling the necessities of human life, are firmly rooted in achieving success in the hereafter, the temptations of a transgression only serve to spur them on in their spiritual pursuits

Islam’s Prohibitions – A Great Blessing

Altaf Husain, a social worker in the US, writes in an article on ways to overcome addiction:

“No one becomes addicted intentionally; it is not a goal one sets out to accomplish. Addiction is ultimately the triumph of the soul commanding to evil over the self-reproaching soul. What begins as just one quick glance at a pornographic Web site, one sip of alcohol, one snort of cocaine, one injection of heroin, or even one session of aggressive overeating does not affect every individual the same way. For those who have a weak relationship with Allah, are on the margins of daily worship, are keeping company with similarly heedless individuals, the one glance, the one sip leads them, ultimately, down a slippery slope from which they will have, potentially, a lifelong struggle recovering.”

Islam recognizes the perils of such self-destructive behavior. While prescribing permissible ways of fulfilling certain legitimate desires, Islam clearly draws the line around certains types of behavior and strikes them at the root.

Consequently, alcohol, drug consumption and gambling are strictly prohibited, even in small quantities. The Glorious Qur’an says:

“O ye who believe! Intoxicants and gambling, (dedication of) stones, and (pination by) arrows, are an abomination,- of Satan’s handwork: eschew such (abomination), that ye may prosper.” [Al-Qur’an 7:31]

In the last five decades, pornography has been the cause of many a broken home, and multitudes of destroyed lives. By enjoining men and women towards modesty, the Glorious Qur’an protects the dignity of the human being. The Qur’an says:

“Say to the believing men that they should lower their gaze and guard their modesty: that will make for greater purity for them: And Allah is well acquainted with all that they do.

And say to the believing women that they should lower their gaze and guard their modesty; that they should not display their beauty and ornaments except what (must ordinarily) appear thereof; that they should draw their veils over their bosoms…” [Al-Qur’an 24:30-31]

Islam recommends marriage for the fulfillment of natural desires and for procreation, but prohibits the depiction of any human being as merely an object of sexual gratification. Notice how the Qur’an elevates the status of both men and women by recognizing their nature, while also drawing their attention towards a higher purpose in life.

When one reflects on the havoc caused by alcohol and drug addiction, by compulsive gambling and by rampant pornography, one can only see the prohibitions and injunctions of Islam as great blessings to the human race. The pine prohibitions ensure that even if one does not see the wisdom behind abstaining from these evils, one is guarded by adhering to certain norms in a spiritual frame of reference.

Prayer and Fasting – Strenghthening the Soul with Patience

While every pillar of Islam serves to strengthen the soul, the five daily prayers and the fasting during the holy month of Ramadan are especially beneficial in disciplining the soul.

The Glorious Qur’an says;

“Recite what is sent of the Book by inspiration to thee, and establish regular Prayer: for Prayer restrains from shameful and unjust deeds; and remembrance of Allah is the greatest (thing in life) without doubt. And Allah knows the (deeds) that ye do.” [Al-Qur’an 29:45]

Fasting is universally recognized as a means of gaining self-control, and in Islam, also a means of gaining closeness to God.

“O ye who believe! Fasting is prescribed to you as it was prescribed to those before you, that ye may (learn) self-restraint,”- [Al-Qur’an 2:183]

Prayer and fasting are therefore like the shields of the human soul, by which it can protect itself from the onslaughts of modern temptations, and lead a healthy, balanced and productive life.

Conclusion

To strike at the roots of addiction, a holistic view of the human soul is essential. Islam provides both a world-view and a spiritual system that elevates the human being by empowering the soul to fulfill the pine Mission. Besides prohibiting behaviors that might demean the human soul in any way, Islam prescribes practical ways of strengthening it.

For the soul that values the sweetness of pine Remembrance, capitulating to the base desires represents disobedience to the Creator as well as oppression against the self. It is through recognition of the purpose of creation can the soul achieve true freedom.

Friday, June 3, 2011

Quotes and Wise Sayings From Quran :: Islam A Message of Peace!

In The name of Allah,The Most Merciful,The Most gracious

Quotes and Wise Sayings From Quran :: Islam A Message of Peace!

From Noble Quran:

And whenever you give your word, say the truth [al-An'aam 6:152]

And seek help in patience and prayer [al-Baqarah 2:45]

And speak good to people [al-Baqarah 2:83]

And fulfil the Covenant of Allaah when you have covenanted [al-Nahl 16:91]

Verily! Allaah commands that you should render back the trusts to those to whom they are due [al-Nisa' 4:58]

And let not your hand be tied (like a miser) to your neck, nor stretch it forth to its utmost reach (like a spendthrift) [al-Isra' 17:29]

Eat and drink, but waste not by extravagance [al-A'raaf 7:31]

And take a provision (with you) for the journey, but the best provision is al-taqwa (piety, righteousness) [al-Baqarah 2:197]

And whosoever fears Allaah and keeps his duty to Him, He will make a way for him to get out (from every difficulty) [al-Talaaq 65:2]

And whosoever puts his trust in Allaah, then He will suffice him [al-Talaaq 65:3]

He who obeys the Messenger has indeed obeyed Allaah [al-Nisa' 4:80]

By no means shall you attain al-birr (righteousness) until you spend (in Allaah’s cause) of that which you love [Aal 'Imraan 3:92]

Allaah (Alone) is Sufficient for us, and He is the Best Disposer of Affairs (for us) [Aal 'Imraan 3:171]

And walk not on the earth with conceit and arrogance [al-Isra' 17:37]

And turn not your face away from men with pride [Luqmaan 31:18]

And be moderate (or show no arrogance) in your walking, and lower your voice [Luqmaan 31:19]

And give not a thing in order to have more (or consider not your deeds of obedience to Allaah as a favour to Allaah) [al-Muddaththir 74:6]

“O ye who believe! Do not squander one another’s wealth in vanities, but let there be amongst you traffic and trade by mutual good will.” Qur’an:4:29

“When my servants ask thee (O, Muhammad) concerning Me, tell them I am indeed close (to them). I listen to the prayer of every suppliant when he calleth on Me.” Qur’an:2:186

“God does not forbid you to be kind and equitable to those who have neither fought against your faith nor driven you out of your homes. In fact God loves the equitable.” Qur’an:60:8

“And in their (the earlier prophets) footsteps We sent Jesus the son o Mary, confirming the law that had come before him. We sent him the Gospel, therein was guidance and light and confirmation of the law that had come before him, a guidance and an admonition to those who fear God.” Qur’an:5:46

“Whoever recommends and helps a good cause becomes a partner therein, and whoever recommends and helps an evil cause shares in its burdens” Qur’an:4:85

“Be quick in the race for forgiveness from your Lord, and for a Garden (paradise) whose width is that of the heavens and of the earth, prepared for the righteous – Those who spend (freely), whether in prosperity or in adversity, who restrain (their) anger and pardon (all) men – for God loves those who do good.” Qur’an:3:133-134
“Whoever works righteousness, man or woman, and has faith, verily, to them will We give a new Life, a life that is good and pure, and We will bestow on such their reward according to the best of their actions.” Qur’an:16:97

The parable of those who spend their wealth in the way of God is that of a grain that sprouts into seven ears, each bearing one hundred grains. God gives manifold increase to whom He wishes. God has boundless knowledge. Those who spend their wealth in the cause of God, and do not follow their charity with reminders of their generosity or injure the feeling of the recipient, shall get their reward from their Lord; they shall have nothing to fear or to regret.Kind words and forgiveness are better than charity followed by injury. Qur’an:2:261-263

From Hadith and Sunnah

The Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) said: “Every believer who consoles his brother in distress will be dressed by God in an apparel of honor on the Day of Resurrection.” Fiqh-us-Sunnah:V4N80a

The Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) said: “If anyone transgresses and receives punishment in this world, God is too just to repeat the punishment of His servant in the next. And if anyone transgresses and God conceals it and forgives him, He is too generous to go back upon a thing He has forgiven.” Al-Tirmidhi:1023

The Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) said: “Do you know who will go first on the Day of Resurrection to the shade of God…Those who when given what is right accept it, when asked for something give freely and who judge in favor of others as they do for themselves.” Al-Tirmidhi:1042

The Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) said: “The best charity is that given to a relative who does not like you.” Fiqh-us-Sunnah:V3N100

The Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) said: “A man has sinned enough if he neglects to feed those in need.” Fiqh-us-Sunnah:V3N100

The Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) said: “Religion is very easy, and whoever overburdens himself in his religion will not be able to continue in that way. So you should not be extremists, but try to be near to perfection and receive the good tidings that you will be rewarded.” Bukhari:V1N38

The Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) said: “O God, grant me life as a poor man, cause me to die as a poor man and resurrect me in the company of the poor..” His wife asked him why he said that, and he replied: “Because (the poor) will enter Paradise (before) the rich. Do not turn away a poor man…even if all you can give is half a date. If you love the poor and bring them near you..God will bring you near Him on the Day of Resurrection.” Al-Tirmidhi:1376

The Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) was asked what type of earning was best, and he replied: “A man’s work with his hands and every (lawful) business transaction.” Al-Tirmidhi:846

The Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) said: “On the Day of Resurrection I will intercede and say, ‘O my Lord! Admit into Paradise (even) those who have faith equal to a mustard seed in their hearts.’” Bukhari:V9N600

A funeral procession once passed in front of the Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) and he stood up out of respect. When he was told the person in the coffin was Jewish and not Muslim, he said: “Was it not a living (soul)?” Bukhari:V2N399

The Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) once saw the corpse of a woman who had been killed in a military action, and he disapproved of it and forbade the killing of women and children.Abu Bakr as-Siddiq, a companion of the Prophet Muhammad and his successor as head of the Muslim community, advised one of his military commanders: “Do not kill women or children or an aged, infirm person. Do not cut down fruit-bearing trees. Do not destroy an inhabited place.” Al-Muwatta:V21N9-10

When asked what the Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) did while in his house, his wife Ayesha relied: “He used to keep busy serving and helping members of the household.”Anas bin Malik related that: “(Even the humblest) maid servant of Madinah would take the Prophet’s hand and take him to any place (for the redress of her grievances).” Riyadh-us-Salaheen:605-606

The Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) said: “God has forbidden you to be undutiful to your mothers, to withhold (what you should give) or demand (what you do not deserve), or to bury your daughters alive (a pre-Islamic practice).” Bukhari:8:6

The Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) said: “The learned are heirs of the prophets, and the prophets do not leave any inheritance in the form of (monetary wealth), but they do leave knowledge as their legacy. A person who acquires knowledge, acquires his full share (of this legacy).” Riyadh-us-Salaheen:1388

The Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) said: “(God) will (question a person) on the Day of Resurrection (saying)): ‘O son of Adam, I was sick but you did not visit Me.’ The person will say: ‘O my Lord, how could I visit Thee when Thou art the Lord of the worlds?’ Thereupon (God) will say: ‘Didn’t you know that a servant of Mine was sick but you did not visit him, and were you not aware that if you had visited him, you would have found Me by him?’(God will then say) ‘O son of Adam, I asked you for food but you did not feed Me.’ The person will say: ‘My Lord, how could I feed Thee when Thou art the Lord of the worlds?’ (God) will say: ‘Didn’t you know that a servant of Mine asked you for food but you did not feed him, and were you not aware that if you had fed him you would have found him by My side?’ Muslim:1172

The Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) said: “The best (Jihad) is (to speak) word of justice to an oppressive ruler.” Sunan of Abu-Dawood:2040

The Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) said: “A believing man should not hate a believing woman. If he dislikes one of her characteristics, he will be pleased with another.” Muslim:705

The Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) said: “He will not enter Paradise whose neighbour is not secure from his wrongful conduct.” Muslim:15

The Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) said: “If anyone continually asks pardon, God will appoint for him a way out of every distress, and a relief from anxiety, and will provide for him from where he did not reckon.” Abdu Dawood:599

The Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) said: “(Each one) of you should save himself from the fire by giving even half of a date (in charity). And if you do not find a half date, then (you can do it through saying) a pleasant word (to your brethren).” Bukhari:V2N394

The Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) once told his wife: “Do not turn away a poor man..even if all you can give is half a date. If you love the poor and bring them near you…GOD will bring you near HIM on the Day of Resurrection.” Al-Tirmidhi:1376

The Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) once told his wife: “Avoid Cruelty and injustice..and guard yourselves against miserliness, for this has ruined nations who lived before you.” Riyadh-us-Salaheen:203

The Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) once said to one of his companions: “Son, if you are able, keep your heart..free from malice toward anyone.” Al-Tirmidhi:59

The Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) said: “Seven kinds of people will be sheltered under the shade of God on the Day of Judgment…They are: a just ruler, a young man who passed his youth in the worship and service of others for the sake of God…a man who is invited to sin…but declines, saying ‘I fear God’…one who spends his charity in secret, without making a show…and one who remembers God in solitude so that his eyes overflow.” Riyadh-us-Salaheen:376

The Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) said “That which is lawful is clear, and that which is unlawful is also quite clear. Between these two is that which is ambiguous, which most people do not know. One who avoids the doubtful safeguards his faith and his honor.” Riyadh-us-Salaheen:588

The Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) said “A believer may achieve the status of one who regularly fasts (for religious reasons) during the day and spends the night in prayer, through his good manners.” Riyadh-us-Salaheen:629

The Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) said “No companion of mine should tell me anything bad about another person. For when I meet you, I would like my heart to be clean (unbiased.)” Riyadh-us-Salaheen:1539

The Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) said “(God) has revealed to me that you should adopt humility so that no one oppresses another.” Riyadh-us-Salaheen:1589

The Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) said “Avoid jealousy, for it destroys good deeds as fire destroys wood.” Riyadh-us-Salaheen:1569

The Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) once asked Bilal to join in his morning meal. Bilal declined the invitation because he was fast . The Prophet then replied: “We are eating our provision and Bilal’s superior provision is in Paradise. Did you know, Bilal, that…the angels ask forgiveness for (someone who is fasting) as long as people eat beside him?” Al-Tirmidhi:640

The Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) said “Fasting is not (just abstaining) from eating and drinking, but also from vain speech and foul language. If one of you is being cursed or annoyed, he should say: ‘I am fasting, I am fasting.’ ” Fiqh-us-Sunnah:V3N132A

The Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) said “Whoever fasts in the month of Ramadan out of sincere faith, and hoping for a reward from God, all his previous sins will be forgiven.” Bukhari:V3N125

The Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) used to say when he broke his fast: “O God, for Thee I have fasted and with Thy provision I have broken my fast.” Sunan of Abu-Dawood:978

The Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) said “If you are given health and security from evil in this world and the next, you have attained felicity.” Al-Tirmidhi:781

The Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) said “Anyone who believes in God and the Last Day (of Judgment) should not harm his neighbor. Anyone who believes in God and the Last Day should entertain his guest generously. And anyone who believes in God and the Last Day should say what is good or keep quiet.” Bukhari:V8B73N47

Random Wise Islamic Sayings:

“Pay attention to Allaah and He will pay attention to you.”

“If you feel no shame, then do as you wish.”

“Make sure your food is good (halaal and bought with halaal earnings), and you will be one whose prayers are answered.”

“Fear Allaah wherever you may be.”

“Follow up a bad deed with a good deed, to cancel it out.”

“Mix with people with a good attitude.”

“Keep away from prohibited things and you will be the best of worshippers.”

“Be content with what Allaah has given you, and you will be the richest of people.”

“Love for other people what you love for yourself.”

“Do not laugh too much, for excessive laughter deadens the heart.”

“Wrongdoing will be multiple darkness on the Day of Resurrection.”

“Fear Allaah and treat all your children fairly.”

“Fear the Fire, even if by giving half a date (in charity).”

“Fear the prayer of the oppressed.”

“The thing that weighs most heavily in the balance (of good deeds) is a good attitude.”

“Deliberation is from Allaah, haste is from Shaytaan.”

“The less your wealth, the less you will be called to account for.”

“Do not become angry, and Paradise will be yours.”

“The most beloved of deeds to Allaah is the one that is continuous, even if it is little.”

“The most beloved of places to Allaah are the mosques.”

“The most hated of places to Allaah are the marketplaces.”

“The most beloved of food to Allaah is that which is touched by many hands (i.e., shared among many people).”

“The most beloved of speech to Allaah is that a person should say, ‘Subhaan Allaah wa bi hamdih (Glory and praise be to

Allaah)’.”

“The most beloved of people to Allaah is the one who is most helpful.”

“The most beloved deed to Allaah is making a Muslim happy.”

“Whoever restrains his anger, Allaah will conceal his faults.”

“A bad attitude spoils a good deed just as vinegar spoils honey.”

“The most beloved of people to Allaah are those who have the best attitudes.”

“Beware of this world, for it is sweet and tempting.”

“Control your tongue.”

“Trim your moustaches and let your beards grow.”

“Give back the things you have been entrusted with to the person who entrusted them to you.”

“Do not betray the one who betrays you.”

“Pray to Allaah and be confident of a response.”

“Cheer people up, do not put them off.”

“Make things easy for people, not difficult.”

“Eat with your right hand and eat from what is in front of you.”

“If Allaah gives you wealth, let the blessing of Allaah be seen on you.”

“If someone who is distinguished among his own people comes to you, then honour him.”

“If one with whose religion and character you are pleased comes to you (to seek your daughter’s hand in marriage), then marry (your daughter) to him.”

“If Allaah wills good to the people of a household, He guides them to be gentle.”

“If you do something bad, follow it by doing something good.”

“If you feel uncomfortable about something, then leave it alone.”

Thursday, June 2, 2011

Cover Girl

In The name of Allah,The Most Merciful,The Most gracious

Cover Girl

Aliya with Mother!

Nine years ago, I danced my newborn daughter around my North Carolina living room to the music of Free to Be…You and Me, the ’70s children’s classic whose every lyric about tolerance and gender equality I had memorized as a girl growing up in California.

My Libyan-born husband, Ismail, sat with her for hours on our screened porch, swaying back and forth on a creaky metal rocker and singing old Arabic folk songs, and took her to a Muslim sheikh who chanted a prayer for long life into her tiny, velvety ear. She had espresso eyes and lush black lashes like her father’s, and her milky-brown skin darkened quickly in the summer sun. We named her Aliya, which means “exalted” in Arabic, and agreed we would raise her to choose what she identified with most from our dramatically different backgrounds.

I secretly felt smug about this agreement—confident that she would favor my comfortable American lifestyle over his modest Muslim upbringing. Ismail’s parents live in a squat stone house down a winding dirt alley outside Tripoli. Its walls are bare except for passages from the Qur’an engraved onto wood, its floors empty but for thin cushions that double as bedding at night. My parents live in a sprawling home in Santa Fe with a three-car garage, hundreds of channels on the flat-screen TV, organic food in the refrigerator, and a closetful of toys for the grandchildren. I imagined Aliya embracing shopping trips to Whole Foods and the stack of presents under the Christmas tree, while still fully appreciating the melodic sound of Arabic, the honey-soaked baklava Ismail makes from scratch, the intricate henna tattoos her aunt drew on her feet when we visited Libya. Not once did I imagine her falling for the head covering worn by Muslim girls as an expression of modesty.

Last summer we were celebrating the end of Ramadan with our Muslim community at a festival in the parking lot behind our local mosque. Children bounced in inflatable fun houses while their parents sat beneath a plastic tarp nearby, shooing flies from plates of curried chicken, golden rice, and baklava.

Aliya and I wandered past rows of vendors selling prayer mats, henna tattoos, and Muslim clothing. When we reached a table displaying head coverings, Aliya turned to me and pleaded, “Please, Mom—can I have one?”

She riffled through neatly folded stacks of headscarves while the vendor, an African-American woman shrouded in black, beamed at her. I had recently seen Aliya cast admiring glances at Muslim girls her age. I quietly pitied them, covered in floor-length skirts and long sleeves on even the hottest summer days, as my best childhood memories were of my skin laid bare to the sun: feeling the grass between my toes as I ran through the sprinkler on my front lawn; wading into an icy river in Idaho, my shorts hitched up my thighs, to catch my first rainbow trout; surfing a rolling emerald wave off the coast of Hawaii. But Aliya envied these girls and had asked me to buy her clothes like theirs. And now a headscarf.

In the past, my excuse was that they were hard to find at our local mall, but here she was, offering to spend ten dollars from her own allowance to buy the forest green rayon one she clutched in her hand. I started to shake my head emphatically “no,” but caught myself, remembering my commitment to Ismail. So I gritted my teeth and bought it, assuming it would soon be forgotten.

That afternoon, as I was leaving for the grocery store, Aliya called out from her room that she wanted to come.

A moment later she appeared at the top of the stairs—or more accurately, half of her did. From the waist down, she was my daughter: sneakers, bright socks, jeans a little threadbare at the knees. But from the waist up, this girl was a stranger. Her bright, round face was suspended in a tent of dark cloth like a moon in a starless sky.

“Are you going to wear that?” I asked.

“Yeah,” she said slowly, in that tone she had recently begun to use with me when I state the obvious.

On the way to the store, I stole glances at her in my rearview mirror. She stared out the window in silence, appearing as aloof and unconcerned as a Muslim dignitary visiting our small Southern town—I, merely her chauffeur. I bit my lip. I wanted to ask her to remove her head covering before she got out of the car, but I couldn’t think of a single logical reason why, except that the sight of it made my blood pressure rise. I’d always encouraged her to express her individuality and to resist peer pressure, but now I felt as self-conscious and claustrophobic as if I were wearing that headscarf myself.

Aliya before wearing Scarf !

As we maneuvered our cart down the aisles, shoppers glanced at us like we were a riddle they couldn’t quite solve, quickly dropping their gaze when I caught their eye. In the produce aisle, a woman reaching for an apple fixed me with an overly bright, solicitous smile that said “I embrace diversity and I am perfectly fine with your child.” She looked so earnest, so painfully eager to put me at ease, that I suddenly understood how it must feel to have a child with an obvious disability, and all the curiosity or unwelcome sympathies from strangers it evokes. At the checkout line, an elderly Southern woman clasped her bony hands together and bent slowly down toward Aliya. “My, my,” she drawled, wobbling her head in disbelief. “Don’t you look absolutely precious!” My daughter smiled politely, then turned to ask me for a pack of gum.

In the following days, Aliya wore her headscarf to the breakfast table over her pajamas, to a Muslim gathering where she was showered with compliments, and to the park, where the moms with whom I chatted on the bench studiously avoided mentioning it altogether.

Later that week, at our local pool, I watched a girl only a few years older than Aliya play Ping-Pong with a boy her age. She was caught in that awkward territory between childhood and adolescence—narrow hips, skinny legs, the slightest swelling of new breasts—and she wore a string bikini. Her opponent wore an oversize T-shirt and baggy trunks that fell below his knees, and when he slammed the ball at her, she lunged for it while trying with one hand to keep the slippery strips of spandex in place. I wanted to offer her a towel to wrap around her hips, so she could lose herself in the contest and feel the exhilaration of making a perfect shot. It was easy to see why she was getting demolished at this game: Her near-naked body was consuming her focus. And in her pained expression I recognized the familiar mix of shame and excitement I felt when I first wore a bikini.

At 14, I skittered down the halls of high school like a squirrel in traffic: hugging the walls, changing direction in midstream, darting for cover. Then I went to Los Angeles to visit my aunt Mary during winter break. Mary collected mermaids, kept a black-and-white photo of her long-haired Indian guru on her dresser, and shopped at a tiny health food store that smelled of patchouli and peanut butter. She took me to Venice Beach, where I bought a cheap bikini from a street vendor.

Dizzy with the promise of an impossibly bright afternoon, I thought I could be someone else—glistening and proud like the greased-up bodybuilders on the lawn, relaxed and unself-conscious as the hippies who lounged on the pavement with lit incense tucked behind their ears. In a beachside bathroom with gritty cement floors, I changed into my new two-piece suit.

Goose bumps spread across my chubby white tummy and the downy white hairs on my thighs stood on end—I felt as raw and exposed as a turtle stripped of its shell. And when I left the bathroom, the stares of men seemed to pin me in one spot even as I walked by.

In spite of a strange and mounting sense of shame, I was riveted by their smirking faces; in their suggestive expressions I thought I glimpsed some vital clue to the mystery of myself. What did these men see in me—what was this strange power surging between us, this rapidly shifting current that one moment made me feel powerful and the next unspeakably vulnerable?

I imagined Aliya in a string bikini in a few years. Then I imagined her draped in Muslim attire. It was hard to say which image was more unsettling. I thought then of something a Sufi Muslim friend had told me: that Sufis believe our essence radiates beyond our physical bodies—that we have a sort of energetic second skin, which is extremely sensitive and permeable to everyone we encounter. Muslim men and women wear modest clothing, she said, to protect this charged space between them and the world.

Growing up in the ’70s in Southern California, I had learned that freedom for women meant, among other things, fewer clothes, and that women could be anything—and still look good in a bikini. Exploring my physical freedom had been an important part of my process of self-discovery, but the exposure had come at a price.

Since that day in Venice Beach, I’d spent years learning to swim in the turbulent currents of attraction—wanting to be desired, resisting others’ unwelcome advances, plumbing the mysterious depths of my own longing. I’d spent countless hours studying my reflection in the mirror—admiring it, hating it, wondering what others thought of it—and it sometimes seemed to me that if I had applied the same relentless scrutiny to another subject I could have become enlightened, written a novel, or at least figured out how to grow an organic vegetable garden.

On a recent Saturday morning, in the crowded dressing room of a large department store, I tried on designer jeans alongside college girls in stiletto heels, young mothers with babies fussing in their strollers, and middle-aged women with glossed lips pursed into frowns. One by one we filed into changing rooms, then lined up to take our turn on a brightly lit pedestal surrounded by mirrors, cocking our hips and sucking in our tummies and craning our necks to stare at our rear ends.

When it was my turn, my heart felt as tight in my chest as my legs did in the jeans. My face looked drawn under the fluorescent lights, and suddenly I was exhausted by all the years I’d spent doggedly chasing the carrot of self-improvement, while dragging behind me a heavy cart of self-criticism.

At this stage in her life, Aliya is captivated by the world around her—not by what she sees in the mirror. Last summer she stood at the edge of the Blue Ridge Parkway, stared at the blue-black outline of the mountains in the distance, their tips swaddled by cottony clouds, and gasped. “This is the most beautiful thing I ever saw,” she whispered. Her wide-open eyes were a mirror of all that beauty, and she stood so still that she blended into the lush landscape, until finally we broke her reverie by tugging at her arm and pulling her back to the car.

At school it’s different. In her fourth-grade class, girls already draw a connection between clothing and popularity. A few weeks ago, her voice rose in anger as she told me about a classmate who had ranked all the girls in class according to how stylish they were.

I understood then that while physical exposure had liberated me in some ways, Aliya could discover an entirely different type of freedom by choosing to cover herself.

I have no idea how long Aliya’s interest in Muslim clothing will last. If she chooses to embrace Islam, I trust the faith will bring her tolerance, humility, and a sense of justice—the way it has done for her father. And because I have a strong desire to protect her, I will also worry that her choice could make life in her own country difficult. She has recently memorized the fatiha, the opening verse of the Qur’an, and she is pressing her father to teach her Arabic. She’s also becoming an agile mountain biker who rides with me on wooded trails, mud spraying her calves as she navigates the swollen creek.

The other day, when I dropped her off at school, instead of driving away from the curb in a rush as I usually do, I watched her walk into a crowd of kids, bent forward under the weight of her backpack as if she were bracing against a storm. She moved purposefully, in such a solitary way—so different from the way I was at her age, and I realized once again how mysterious she is to me. It’s not just her head covering that makes her so: It’s her lack of concern for what others think about her. It’s finding her stash of Halloween candy untouched in her drawer, while I was a child obsessed with sweets. It’s the fact that she would rather dive into a book than into the ocean—that she gets so consumed with her reading that she can’t hear me calling her from the next room.

I watched her kneel at the entryway to her school and pull a neatly folded cloth from the front of her pack, where other kids stash bubble gum or lip gloss. Then she slipped it over her head, and her shoulders disappeared beneath it like the cape her younger brother wears when he pretends to be a superhero.

As I pulled away from the curb, I imagined that headscarf having magical powers to protect her boundless imagination, her keen perception, and her unself-conscious goodness. I imagined it shielding her as she journeys through that house of mirrors where so many young women get trapped in adolescence, buffering her from the dissatisfaction that clings in spite of the growing number of choices at our fingertips, providing safe cover as she takes flight into a future I can only imagine.

Krista Bremer is the winner of a 2008 Pushcart Prize and a 2009 Rona Jaffe Foundation Writers’ Award. She is associate publisher of the literary magazine The Sun, and she is writing a memoir about her bicultural marriage.

Are You Jealous of What Others Have?

In The name of Allah,The Most Merciful,The Most gracious

Are You Jealous of What Others Have?

By Shawana A. Aziz

Hasad (jealousy and envy) is among the most destructive emotions which a man may develop toward his fellow human being. With Hasad, a person will wish evil for others and will be happy when misfortune befalls them. The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) warned against envy by comparing it to fire that completely burns the wood.

He (peace and blessings be upon him) said:

“Beware of jealousy, for verily it destroys good deeds the way fire destroys wood.” [Abu Dawud]

The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said:

“There has come to you the disease of the nations before you, jealousy and hatred. This is the ‘shaver’ (destroyer); I do not say that it shaves hair, but that it shaves (destroys) faith…” [At-Tirmidhi, No. 2434]

Hasad can take a person into disbelief because he may conclude that Allah has not been fair with him, while Allah is the Most Just. The person may forget all of Allah’s mercy and blessings bestowed upon him.

The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him) said:

“They are enemies of Allah’s bounties.” When asked, “Who are they?”, he replied: “Those who envy people for what Allah has given them of Bounty.” [At-Tabarani]

Allah through His Absolute Wisdom gave some people more wealth, intelligence, beauty, strength, and children than others. Discontentment comes from the slave’s ignorance of his Lord. If he recognizes his Lord with the attributes of Perfection, he would not be discontent and as a result would not develop Hasad. A believing Muslim should be content with what Allah has destined for him. Imam Ibn Qayyim said: “It (contentment) opens the door of peace and security for the slave.

“Allah favored some of you over others with wealth and properties- Do they deny the favors of Allah?” [Noble Quran 16:71]

“Do they envy men for what Allah has given them of His Bounty?” [Noble Quran 4:54]

“It is We Who portion out between them their livelihood in this world, and We raised some of them above others in ranks, so that some may employ others in their work. But the mercy of your Lord is better.” [Noble Quran 43:32]

This means that the mercy of Allah is better than the convenience of the world. Material things of this life do not make one superior over another. True superiority lies in Taqwa (righteousness and fear of Allah).

Allah said:

“Surely, the most noble of you to Allah is the most God-fearing.” [Noble Quran 49:13]

“And the Hereafter with Your Lord is (only) for those who have Taqwa.” [Noble Quran 43:35]

What belongs to the transient world is of no significance at all before Allah. The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said:

“If this world were worth a mosquito’s wing before Allah, He would not give a disbeliever a drink of water. “ [At-Tirmidhi]

In order to discourage envy, the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said:

“Do not look to those above you. Look to those below you, as it will more likely remind you of Allah’s favors bestowed on you.” [Al-Bukhari and Muslim]

On another occasion, he said:

“If one of you looks at someone wealthier and better built than him, he should also look at someone of lower standard than himself.” [Sahih Muslim]

Good envy

What Islam permits in contrast to Hasad (destructive jealousy) is Ghibtah (envy that is free from malice). It means that a person neither wishes for misfortune to fall on others nor does he hate the blessings with them. He desires for similar blessings without having any ill-feeling toward others.

The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him) said:

“Envy is allowed in two cases: a man whom Allah has given the Quran and who recites it throughout night and day; and a man on whom Allah has bestowed wealth who gives it away night and day.” [Al-Bukhari and Muslim]

The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) also explained what is allowed to be said:

“I wish I were given what he was given and did with it what he did.”

The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him) said:

“The similitude of the people of this Ummah is like that of four individuals. One whom Allah has given wealth and knowledge, so he handles his wealth with knowledge.

One whom Allah has given knowledge but not wealth, and he says, ‘Lord, should I have wealth like so-and-so, I would have handled it like him.’ So they both have the same reward. Such a person loves to have wealth like others so he can do good like others without wishing that others lose their wealth.

“Another man whom Allah gave wealth but no knowledge spends it in disobedience to Allah.

And last, a man whom Allah has not given knowledge or wealth but who says, ‘Should I have wealth like so-and-so, I would spend it in the way he does.’ So, both will have the same sin against them.” [At-Tirmidhi and Ibn Majah]

The Difference between Men and Women in Islam

In The name of Allah,The Most Merciful,The Most gracious

The Difference between Men and Women in Islam



Character and Creation:

  • Man was created from dirt and the woman was created from the rib.
  • Allah has decreed the menstrual cycle for the woman and not the man.
  • Men grow beards women don’t, but if she does it’s permissible for her to shave it.
  • Women are deficient in their intellect and religion. i.e A woman witness = ½ a man and during menses she doesn’t pray and fast.
  • The men have been given strength over women.
  • A man’s semen is white and a woman’s is yellow.
  • It’s an obligation to circumcise the man and its sunnah to circumcise the woman.
  • Ear piercing is permissible for women and not for men.

Purification:

  • The urine of the woman is stronger and more dirtier than the man’s
  • It’s legislated for man to redo Wudu if he intends to have relations with his a second time in the same setting.

Prayer:

  • The Athaan and Iqamah aren’t a must for the women and it’s incorrect for a woman to call them for men.
  • A woman prays behind a man, even if she’s alone. However if a man prays behind another man alone, his prayer is incorrect.
  • A woman can’t lead a man in prayer.
  • If a woman leads the prayer for other women she must stand in the middle. When a man leads the prayer he stands in front row all alone.
  • Congregational prayer is must for the men and not the women.
  • The best row for women in congregation is the last and the best row for the men is the first.
  • Walking to prayer at night is recommended for men, but not for woman.
  • If the imam makes a mistake in prayer the women clap and the men say “ Subhanallah”
  • The women don’t have to attend Jumu’ah; and men must attend Jumu’ah .
  • Women can’t deliver the sermon for Eid, Jumu’ah, Eclipse prayer and Rain prayer.
  • Prayer is invalid when a woman passes in front of a man. And if a man passes in front of another man during prayer, it’s still valid.
  • The Eid prayer is an obligation for men, but not for women. However it’s recommended for women to attend if they are safe from fitah.

Funeral Prayer:

  • The congregation stands at the head of the deceased man and at the middle of the deceased woman.
  • It’s disliked for women to visit the graveyard and it’s recommended for men.
  • Women can’t accompany a funeral procession, but men can.
  • Women wash and shroud each other and men wash and shroud each other; unless they were spouses.

Zakah and Sadaqah:

  • Women are encouraged more than men to give charity.
  • A woman can give Zakah to her children and husband , but a man can’t pay Zakah to his children and wife .
  • Redemption is a duty for the man and not the woman. This can occur if a man intentionally had relations with his wife during daylight in Ramadan.
  • A woman can’t fast voluntarily unless she has her husband’s permission. A man doesn’t need his wife’s permission to fast voluntarily.

Hajj

  • A woman must have a Mahram when travelling.
  • A woman mustn’t raise her voice during the Talbeeyah; and a man should raise voice.
  • A woman’s Ihram is the clothes she wears for the journey.
  • A man can do Ramal-a slight jog between Safa and Marwa, and around the Ka’bah; and a woman shouldn’t.
  • It’s not recommended for the women to try and kiss or touch the black stone during crowding.
  • A man can ascend on Safa and Marwa, however a woman mustn’t.

Aqeeqah:

  • For a girl one sheep is sacrificed and for a boy two.

Jihad, Battle and Leadership:

  • There were no women Prophets or Messengers.
  • A woman can’t be a leader for the people or the military.
  • The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) took the pledge from the men through a handshake and from the women by speech.
  • Women aren’t obliged to perform Jihad unlike the men. However there are certain conditions that must adhered to before the men embark on this obligation.

Marriage , Divorce, Iddah, Kulla’:

  • Women are given the Sadaq, not the men.
  • Men have the authority for divorce, marriage and giving the Mahr, not the women.
  • A man can marry a woman from Ahul Kitab if he knows she frees from Zina. A woman doesn’t have this right.
  • A man can have more than one wife. A woman can’t have more than one husband.
  • The Waleemah and wedding are the responsibility on the man not the woman.
  • It’s permissible for the women to beat the Duff at their wedding. This act isn’t permissible for the men.
  • Maintenance and support are the duty of the men not the women.
  • A woman is under the authority of her husband. A man isn’t under the authority of his wife.
  • A woman can’t have anyone visit her home unless she gets her husband’s permission first. A Man doesn’t need permission for visitors in his home.
  • The Angels curse the woman if her husband separates from her bed. The husband doesn’t receive this curse.
  • A woman must have her husband’s permission before she leaves home. A man doesn’t need his wife’s permission to leave home.
  • A man doesn’t have an ‘Idda unless he wants to marry his ex-wife’s sister or aunt. However if he divorces his fourth wife and wants to remarry, then he must wait until his ex-wife concludes her “Iddah.

Dress and Adornment:

  • It’s recommended for a woman to adorn herself in her home for her husband.
  • It’s haraam for a woman to imitate a man in his dress.
  • It’s an obligation for the women to sag their clothes below her ankles. Sagging pants and thoubs below the ankles is Haraam for men.
  • A woman can’t change her clothes unless she’s in her own home. This act doesn’t apply to the men.
  • A woman must wear Hijab: cover her face and body.
  • Women can wear jewelry.
  • Men can’t wear silk, but women can.

The Best Hours of the Day- Fajr and Asr

5 Votes

The Best Hours of the Day- Fajr and Asr


Allah‘s Messenger (peace and blessings be upon him) encouraged the Muslims to safeguard Fajr and Asr.

جَرِيرٍ قَالَ كُنَّا عِنْدَ النَّبِىِّ – صلى الله عليه وسلم – فَنَظَرَ إِلَى الْقَمَرِ لَيْلَةً – يَعْنِى الْبَدْرَ – فَقَالَ « إِنَّكُمْ سَتَرَوْنَ رَبَّكُمْ كَمَا تَرَوْنَ هَذَا الْقَمَرَ لاَ تُضَامُّونَ فِى رُؤْيَتِهِ ، فَإِنِ اسْتَطَعْتُمْ أَنْ لاَ تُغْلَبُوا عَلَى صَلاَةٍ قَبْلَ طُلُوعِ الشَّمْسِ وَقَبْلَ غُرُوبِهَا فَافْعَلُوا » . ثُمَّ قَرَأَ ( وَسَبِّحْ بِحَمْدِ رَبِّكَ قَبْلَ طُلُوعِ الشَّمْسِ وَقَبْلَ الْغُرُوبِ )

Jarir (may Allah be pleased with him) said, We were with the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) and he looked at the moon on a full moon night and said,

”Certainly you will see your Lord as you see this moon and you will have no trouble seeing Him. So if you can avoid missing (through sleep or worldly affairs) a Salah before sunrise and before sunset, you must do so.”

He the recited Allah’s verse:

“ And glorify the praises of your Lord before the rising of the sun and before its’ setting.”

[50:39] [ Bukhari 554]

Ibn Rajab (may Allah have mercy on him) said,

This hadeeth establishes that Allah will be seen in Jannah. .. This hadeeth points to the great importance of Fajr and Asr prayers. They are the best out of the five daily prayers. And for that reason some people call both of them the middle prayer.”

[ Fathul Bari 4/ 554 maktabul Ghurabah1996]

Angels come in succession at Fajr and Asr.

أَبِى هُرَيْرَةَ أَنَّ رَسُولَ اللَّهِ – صلى الله عليه وسلم – قَالَ « يَتَعَاقَبُونَ فِيكُمْ مَلاَئِكَةٌ بِاللَّيْلِ وَمَلاَئِكَةٌ بِالنَّهَارِ ، وَيَجْتَمِعُونَ فِى صَلاَةِ الْفَجْرِ وَصَلاَةِ الْعَصْرِ ، ثُمَّ يَعْرُجُ الَّذِينَ بَاتُوا فِيكُمْ ، فَيَسْأَلُهُمْ وَهْوَ أَعْلَمُ بِهِمْ كَيْفَ تَرَكْتُمْ عِبَادِى فَيَقُولُونَ تَرَكْنَاهُمْ وَهُمْ يُصَلُّونَ ، وَأَتَيْنَاهُمْ وَهُمْ يُصَلُّونَ

Abu Hurayrah (may Allah be pleased with him) narrated that Allah’s Messenger (may Allah’s peace and blessings be upon him) said,

” Angels come to you in succession by night and day and all of them get together at the time of Fajr and Asr prayers. Those who have passed the night with you ascend and Allah asks them, though he knows everything about you, “ In what state did you leave my slaves?” The angels reply: When we left them, they were praying and when we reached them they were praying.”

[ Bukhari 555]

Whoever prays Fajr and Asr will enter Paradise. [ inshallah]

َبِى بَكْرِ بْنِ أَبِى مُوسَى عَنْ أَبِيهِ أَنَّ رَسُولَ اللَّهِ – صلى الله عليه وسلم – قَالَ

مَنْ صَلَّى الْبَرْدَيْنِ دَخَلَ الْجَنَّةَ

Abu Bakr ibn Abe Musa narrated that his father told him that Allah’s Messenger (peace and blessings be upon him) said,

“Whoever prays the the two cool Salat (Asr and Fajr prayers) will enter Paradise.”

[Bukhari 574]

· The Morning and Evening supplications are done at these times.

وَسَبِّحْ بِحَمْدِ رَبِّكَ قَبْلَ طُلُوعِ الشَّمْسِ وَقَبْلَ غُرُوبِهَا ۖ وَمِنْ آنَاءِ اللَّيْلِ فَسَبِّحْ وَأَطْرَافَ النَّهَارِ لَعَلَّكَ تَرْضَىٰ

..and glorify your Lord by the praising of Him before the rising of the sun

and before its setting, and during hours of the night do also glorify (Him) and during parts of the day, that you may be well pleased [Taha 130 ]

وَسَبِّحْ بِحَمْدِ رَبِّكَ قَبْلَ طُلُوعِ الشَّمْسِ وَقَبْلَ الْغُرُوبِ

..and sing the praise of your Lord before the rising of the sun and before the setting.[ Qaf 39 ]

The recitation of the Quran is witnessed at Fajr and Asr.

إِنَّ قُرْآنَ الْفَجْرِ كَانَ مَشْهُودًا

…and the morning recitation; surely the morning recitation is witnessed [Isra 78]

* Shaykh Muhammad ibn Salih AL-Uthaymeen (may Allah have mercy on him said,” This witnessing also applies to Asr, because the recording Angels gather together at that time too.”[ Sharhus Saheeh Al-Bukhari 1/143]

Allah will been seen in Jannah after Asr and Fajr

جَرِيرٍ قَالَ كُنَّا عِنْدَ النَّبِىِّ – صلى الله عليه وسلم – فَنَظَرَ إِلَى الْقَمَرِ لَيْلَةً – يَعْنِى الْبَدْرَ – فَقَالَ « إِنَّكُمْ سَتَرَوْنَ رَبَّكُمْ كَمَا تَرَوْنَ هَذَا الْقَمَرَ لاَ تُضَامُّونَ فِى رُؤْيَتِهِ ، فَإِنِ اسْتَطَعْتُمْ أَنْ لاَ تُغْلَبُوا عَلَى صَلاَةٍ قَبْلَ طُلُوعِ الشَّمْسِ وَقَبْلَ غُرُوبِهَا فَافْعَلُوا » . ثُمَّ قَرَأَ ( وَسَبِّحْ بِحَمْدِ رَبِّكَ قَبْلَ طُلُوعِ الشَّمْسِ وَقَبْلَ الْغُرُوبِ )

Jarir (may Allah be pleased with him) said, “ We were with the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) and he looked at the moon on a full moon night and said,” Certainly you will see your Lord as you see this moon and you will have no trouble seeing Him. So if you can avoid missing (through sleep or worldly affairs) a Salah before sunrise and before sunse, you must do so.” He the recited Allah’s verse: “ And glorify the praises of your Lord before the rising of the sun and before its’ setting.” [50:39] [ Bukhari 554]

* Ibn Rajab Al-Hanbali (may Allah have mercy on him) said,” Since these are the two special times when the people of Paradise will see Allah, the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) urged the Muslims to safeguard them in this world. [Al-Muhajjah fee seerid Daleejah ]

Bring Your Friends Closer to Allâh :: 12 Tips for Muslim Youth

In The name of Allah,The Most Merciful,The Most gracious

Bring Your Friends Closer to Allâh

12 Tips for Muslim Youth

Why should you, a young Muslim, be helping to bring your friends closer to Allâh?

After all, you’ve got your own struggles to deal with: trying to explain to hostile teachers why you pray, Hijab discrimination, standing up in class when the professor attacks Islâm, dealing with parents who think you’ve gone nuts because you’re growing a beard, or all the other difficulties faced by a number of practicing Muslim youth?

Islâm was never meant to be an individualistic faith, reserved for the “chosen few”. Muslims have a duty to spread the Deen; and practicing Muslim youth, whether beginners, activists or leaders, have a crucial role to play.

“Allâh has put them in a position that perhaps no one else is in,” notes Sheema Khan, former Muslim Youth of North America (MYNA) advisor for eastern Canada.

“They have the means to communicate with their peers, they have an understanding of what they’re going through plus they have the guidance of Islâm.“

Who is your childhood friend going to listen to? Who is your childhood friend, who would rather spend Fridays at MacDonald’s than the Masjid, or your classmate who is Muslim in name and only knows that “Muslims don’t eat pork” going to listen to: the nice Imam of the Masjid who would freak out if he saw the way they were dressed and talked or you who may have grown up with them, joked with them, or see them everyday in school?

The answer is obvious: You.

Don’t panic. Here are some tips and advice which can help. These are advices from other Muslims, many of whom have been there and done that:


Tip # 1 : Make Your Intention Sincere

All work we do should ideally be for the sake of Allâh. That includes the task of bringing someone closer to Allâh. That of course means this should not be connected to arrogance, thinking you’re the teacher and everyone else should be lucky you’ve embarked on a crusade to save them. Guidance is from Allâh. Make Dua and make sincere efforts and remember Allâh.

Tip # 2 : Practice What You Preach

Not practicing what you preach is wrong and you will lose the confidence of anyone, young or old, once they figure you out. Don’t do it.

Tip # 3 : Use The Qur’ân, Seerah of the Prophet and Ahlulbait (peace be upon them)

As TABLIGH Guides Read and understand those chapters of the Qur’ân which talk about how the Prophets presented the message of Islâm to their people. Read the Seerah to see especially how the Prophet Muhammad and Ahlulbait peace and blessings be upon them) brought Islâm to so many different people, including young people.

As well, talk to Tabligh workers, and check out manuals they may have written, like Yahiya Emerick’s How to Tell Others About Islâm.

Tip # 4 : Talk To People As If You Really Don’t Know Them

Don’t assume you know someone just by looking at them. You don’t know that the Muslim girl in your homeroom who walks through the school’s hallways as if they were fashion show catwalks, is not someone you can talk to about Allâh because she looks like a snob. Or that the Muslim guy who you’ve never seen at Juma at your university is a “bad Muslim”. Maybe he was never really taught Islâm and has no idea what importance Friday prayers have in Islâm, especially for Muslim men.

Tip # 5 : Smile

Did you know the Prophet was big on smiling? But many “practicing” Muslims seem to have “their faces on upside down” as one speaker once said-frowning and serious. Smiling, being polite and kind are all part of the manners of the Prophet, which we must exercise in our daily lives. If we want to approach others with Islâm, we have to make ourselves approachable. Smiling is key to this.

But note that being approachable does not mean being flirtations with the other gender. There are Islâmic rules for how men and women should deal with each other which have to be respected. Tabligh is no excuse to have long and private conversations and meetings with the other sex, for example. Set up a system where someone expressing an interest in Islâm is referred to someone of the same sex.

Tip # 6 : Take The Initiative & Hang Out With Them

Take the first step and invite someone you may have spoken to a couple of times to sit at lunch together, to check out a hockey game or invite them over for Iftaar in Ramadan.

Also, share difficulties, sorrows and frustrations. Help with homework, be a shoulder to cry on when depression hits, or just plain listen when your friend is upset, discuss common problems and KEEP THEIR SECRETS. There are few things as annoying as a snitch and backstabber. But an important note: if the problem is of a serious nature, (i.e. your friend is thinking of committing suicide or is taking drugs), notify and consult an adult immediately.

Tip # 7 : Show Them Islâm Is Relevant Today, Right Here, Right Now

Young people may think Islâm is too “old fashioned” and not in tune with the modern age.

Prove this wrong. Show how Islâm is really about relating to Allâh, which any human being can do, anywhere, anytime. Allâh is always closer to you than your jugular vein and He hears and knows everything. Encourage friends to ask Allâh’s help during tests, exams, and in dealing with problems at home with parents and siblings. Also point out how Islâm relates to teenagers: Islâm gives you focus and an understanding of who you are and where you are going, which most of “teen culture” does not.

Tip # 8 : Get Them Involved In Volunteer Work With You

If you are already involved in the community, get your friend to help out. Ask them to make a flyer for one of your youth group’s events or brainstorm for ideas about activities to hold this school year. This involvement makes them feel part of the Muslim community and deepens your friendship, since you are now working together on something beneficial for both of you. Make sure you thank them for their contribution.

Tip # 9 : Ask Them 4 Fundamental Questions

As your friendship develops, you will notice the topics you discuss may become more serious. You may be discussing, for instance, future goals and plans. We recommends four questions to ask that can steer the topic to Allâh and Islâm:

a. Where am I going in life and what would make me really happy deep down inside?
b. What do I believe?
c. Who should I be grateful to?
d. Did I get to where I am today without the help of anyone?

Tip # 10 : Emphasize Praying 5 Times A Day Before Any Other Aspect Of Islâm

A person’s main connection with Allâh, on a daily basis, is through the prayer five times a day. Don’t emphasize any other aspect of Islâm until your friend starts making a real effort to pray five times a day. Emphasize the direct connection one has with Allâh in prayer. If they are facing a problem, tell them to pray, and to ask Allâh for help in Salah and outside this time. When possible, make it a point to pray together during your “hang out time”. If your friend begins to pray, that is the first step to other aspects of Islâm like giving up swearing, treating parents with respect or dressing Islâmically.

Tip # 11 : Help Instill Confidence In Adults

Adults, like Bart Simpson’s dad Homer, are considered bumbling idiots in the eyes of “teen culture”. Your job as a young Muslim is to help turn the tables on this false and un-Islâmic belief. All you have to do is this: when a Muslim adult does something good (i.e. saving someone’s life, donating money to a worthy cause, the Imam gives a good speech, taking good care of his/her family) bring it up in the course of your conversations with your friend and praise the adult in question. Doing this regularly may not only change your friend’s perspective, but could lead to them seeing their own parents in a more respectful way.

Tip # 12 : Support Them Even When They Become More Practicing

Remember, just because a person starts practicing Islâm more regularly, this does not mean everything will be okay from this point onwards. There will still be hard times, difficulties. There may be times when your friend may have doubts about his or her new found practice of Islâm. Be there to reassure them.

May Allah make this post helpful for Muslims,
Ameen