Does Islam regard men and women as equal?

Does Islam regard men and women as equal?

Composed and Edited By Princess-im Muslimah

Firstly:

This word – equality – which many thinkers in both the east and the west advocate in various fields of life is a word which is based on deviation and a lack of understanding, especially when the speaker attributes this idea of equality to the Qur’aan and to Islam.

One of the things that people misunderstand is when they say that “Islam is the religion of equality”. What they should say is that Islam is the religion of justice.

Shaykh Ibn ‘Uthaymeen (may Allaah have mercy on him) said:

“Here we should note that there are some people who speak of equality instead of justice, and this is a mistake. We should not say equality, because equality implies no differentiation between the two. Because of this unjust call for equality, they started to ask, what is the difference between male and female?’ So they made males and females the same, and then the communists said, ‘What difference is there between ruler and subject? No one has any authority over anyone else, not even fathers and sons; the father has no authority over his son,’ and so on.

But if we say justice, which means giving each one that to which he or she is entitled, this misunderstanding no longer applies, and the word used is correct. Hence it does not say in the Qur’aan that Allaah enjoins equality, rather it says (interpretation of the meaning):

“Verily, Allaah enjoins Al‑‘Adl (i.e. justice)” [al-Nahl 16:90]

“and that when you judge between men, you judge with justice” [al-Nisa’ 4:58]

Those who say that Islam is the religion of equality are lying against Islam. Rather Islam is the religion of justice which means treating equally those who are equal and differentiating between those who are different.

No one who knows the religion of Islam would say that it is the religion of equality. Rather what shows you that this principle is false is the fact that most of what is mentioned in the Qur’aan denies equality, as in the following verses:

‘Say: Are those who know equal to those who know not?” [al-Zumar 39:9]

‘Say: Is the blind equal to the one who sees? Or darkness equal to light?’ [al-Ra’d 13:16]

‘Not equal among you are those who spent and fought before the conquering (of Makkah, with those among you who did so later’ [al-Hadeed 57:10]

‘Not equal are those of the believers who sit (at home), except those who are disabled (by injury or are blind or lame), and those who strive hard and fight in the Cause of Allaah with their wealth and their live’ [al-Nisa’ 4:95]

Not one single letter in the Qur’aan enjoins equality, rather it enjoins justice. You will also find that the word justice is acceptable to people, for I feel that if I am better than this man in terms of knowledge, or wealth, or piety, or in doing good, I would not like for him to be equal to me.

Every man knows that he find it unacceptable if we say that the male is equal to the female.”

Sharh al-‘Aqeedah al-Waasitah, 1/180-181

Based on this, Islam does not regard men and women as equal in matters where regarding them as equal would result in injustice to one of them, because equality that is inappropriate is a severe form of injustice.

The Qur’aan commands women to wear clothes that are different from those worn by men, because of the differences in the ways each sex is tempted by the other. The temptation posed by men is less than the temptation posed by women, so the clothes that women should wear are different than the clothes that men wear. It makes no sense to tell women to expose the parts of the body that men are allowed to expose, because of the differences in the temptation posed by a woman’s body and a man’s body – as we shall explain.

Secondly:

There are matters in which men and women are treated differently in Islamic sharee’ah, such as:

1 – Qiwaamah (being in charge of the household)

Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

“Men are the protectors and maintainers of women, because Allaah has made one of them to excel the other, and because they spend (to support them) from their means”

[al-Nisa’ 4:34]

Ibn Katheer (may Allaah have mercy on him) said:

“Allaah says ‘Men are the protectors and maintainers of women’ meaning that the man is in charge of the woman, i.e., he is the leader and head of the household, the one who disciplines her if she goes astray.

‘because Allaah has made one of them to excel the other’ i.e., because men are superior to women and are better than women. Hence Prophethood was given only to men, as was the position of khaleefah, because the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said, ‘No people shall ever prosper who appoint a woman as their ruler.’ This was narrated by al-Bukhaari from the hadeeth of ‘Abd al-Rahmaan ibn Abi Bakrah from his father. The same applies to the position of qaadi (judge), etc.

‘and because they spend (to support them) from their means’ refers to the mahr and the spending on women’s maintenance that Allaah has enjoined upon men in His Book and in the Sunnah of His Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him). So a man is inherently better than a woman, and he is superior to her because he spends on her. So it is appropriate that he should be in charge of her, as Allaah says, ‘but men have a degree (of responsibility) over them’ [al-Baqarah 2:228].

‘Ali ibn Abi Talhah said, narrating from Ibn ‘Abbaas: ‘Men are the protectors and maintainers of women’ means that men are the leaders of women and they should obey them in areas where Allaah has enjoined obedience. Obedience may mean treating his family kindly and protecting his wealth.”

(Tafseer Ibn Katheer, 1/490)

2 – Testimony or bearing witness. The Qur’aan states that the testimony of one man is equivalent to the testimony of two women.

There are about five verses in the Qur’an that mention witnesses, without specifying male or female. There is only one verse in the Qur’an, that says two female witnesses are equal to one male witness. This verse is Surah Baqarah, chapter 2 verse 282. This is the longest verse in the Qur’an and deals with financial transactions. It says:

“And get two witnesses out of your own men. And if there are not two men (available), then a man and two women, such as you agree for witnesses, so that if one of them (two women) errs, the other can remind her”

[al-Baqarah 2:282]

This verse of the Qur’an deals only with financial transactions. In such cases, it is advised to make an agreement in writing between the parties and take two witnesses, preferably both of which should be men only. In case you cannot find two men, then one man and two women would suffice.

For instance, suppose a person wants to undergo an operation for a particular ailment. To confirm the treatment, he would prefer taking references from two qualified surgeons. In case he is unable to find two surgeons, his second option would be one surgeon and two general practitioners who are plain MBBS doctors.

Similarly in financial transactions, two men are preferred. Islam expects men to be the breadwinners of their families. Since financial responsibility is shouldered by men, they are expected to be well versed in financial transactions as compared to women. As a second option, the witness can be one man and two women, so that if one of the women errs the other can remind her. The Arabic word used in the Qur’an is ‘Tazil’ which means ‘confused’ or ‘to err’. Many have wrongly translated this word as ‘to forget’. Thus financial transactions constitute the only case in which two female witnesses are equal to one male witness.

There are about five verses in the Qur’an which speak about witnesses without specifying man or woman.

While making a will of inheritance, two just persons are required as witnesses. In Surah Maidah chapter 5 verse 106, the Glorious Qur’an says:

“Oh you who believe! When death approaches any of you, (take) witnesses among yourself when making bequests.” [Al-Qur’an 5:106]

Two just persons of your own (brotherhood) or other from outside if you are journeying through the earth and the chance of death befalls you.” [Al-Qur’an 65:2]

Two persons endued with justice in case of talaq.

“Four witnesses are required in case of charge against chaste women, [Al-Qur’an 24:4]

The seeming inequality of male and female witnesses in financial transactions is not due to any inequality of the sexes in Islam. It is only due to the different natures and roles of men and women in society as envisaged by Islam.

3 – A woman inherits half of what a man inherits.

Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

“Allaah commands you as regards your children’s (inheritance): to the male, a portion equal to that of two females”

[al-Nisa’ 4:11]

In Islam a woman has no financial obligation and the economical responsibility lies on the shoulders of the man. Before a woman is married it is the duty of the father or brother to look after the lodging, boarding, clothing and other financial requirements of the woman. After she is married it is the duty of the husband or the son. Islam holds the man financially responsible for fulfilling the needs of his family. In order to do be able to fulfill the responsibility the men get double the share of the inheritance. For example, if a man dies leaving about Rs. One Hundred and Fifty Thousand, for the children (i.e one son and one daughter) the son inherits One Hundred Thousand rupees and the daughter only Fifty Thousand rupees. Out of the one hundred thousand which the son inherits, as his duty towards his family, he may have to spend on them almost the entire amount or say about eighty thousand and thus he has a small percentage of inheritance, say about twenty thousand, left for himself. On the other hand, the daughter, who inherits fifty thousand is not bound to spend a single penny on anybody. She can keep the entire amount for herself. Would you prefer inheriting one hundred thousand rupees and spending eighty thousand from it, or inheriting fifty thousand rupees and having the entire amount to yourself?

Al-Qurtubi said:

Because Allaah knows better than they do what is in their best interests, He made the division of inheritance based on differentiation, because He knows what is in their best interests.

Tafseer al-Qurtubi, 5/164

For example, a man is obliged to spend more than a woman, so it is appropriate that he should have a larger share of inheritance than a woman.

4 – Clothing:

A woman’s ‘awrah includes her entire body. The least that can be said is that she should not uncover anything except her face and hands, and it was said that she should not even uncover that.

Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

“O Prophet! Tell your wives and your daughters and the women of the believers to draw their cloaks (veils) all over their bodies (i.e. screen themselves completely except the eyes or one eye to see the way). That will be better, that they should be known (as free respectable women) so as not to be annoyed. And Allaah is Ever Oft‑Forgiving, Most Merciful”

[al-Ahzaab 33:59]

The ‘awrah of a man is the area from the navel to the knees.

It was said to ‘Abd-Allaah ibn Ja’far ibn Abi Taalib, “Tell us what you heard from the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) and what you saw of him, and do not tell us about anyone else, even if he was trustworthy.” He said, “I heard the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) say, ‘The area between the navel and the knee is ‘awrah.’”

Narrated by al-Haakim in al-Mustadrak (6418); classed as hasan by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Jaami’, 5583.

There are many other difference which people usually quotes, but they forget that man and woman cant be alike, They are EQUAL but not SIMILAR ! !

“And the male is not like the female”

[Aal ‘Imraan 3:36]

The male is different from the female in many ways, in his strength, in his body, in his toughness and roughness, whereas women are soft and gentle.

And men are different in intellectual terms, for men are known for their strength of understanding and their memory as compared to women. Women are weaker than men in memory and forget more than men do. This is well known, for most of the reputable scholars in the world are men. There are some women who are more intelligent and have better memories than some men, but this does not cancel out the general rule. Most cases are as we have described above.

With regard to emotions, men speak of them when they get angry or when they are happy, but women are affected by the slightest emotional effects, so their tears flow at the slightest emotional provocation.

Jihad is obligatory for men, but jihad in the sense of fighting is not obligatory for women. This is the mercy of Allaah towards them, and consideration for their nature.

In conclusion we may say that the rulings for men are not like the rulings for women.

Thirdly:

Islam regards men and women as equally obliged with regard to many acts of worship and interactions with others. For example, women do wudoo’ just as men do, they do ghusl as men do, they pray as men do, and they fast as men do, except when they are menstruating or bleeding following childbirth. Women pay zakaah as men pay zakaah, and they do Hajj as men do, except for a few differences in the rulings. It is permissible and acceptable to buy from a woman, and if a woman gives charity, that is permissible. It is permissible for a woman to set free the slaves that she owns, and there are many other similar cases because women are the twin halves of men, as it says in the hadeeth:

It was narrated that ‘Aa’ishah said: “Prophet Peace be Upon him said: women are the twin halves of men.”

(Narrated by al-Tirmidhi, 113; Ahmad, 25663. Classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Tirmidhi, 98)

Higher Status given to Woman – Never found in any other religion

Honor as Mother :

A man came to the Messenger of Allaah SAWS (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) and said, “O Messenger of Allaah, who among people is most deserving of my good company?” He said, “Your mother.” He asked, “Then who?” He said, “Your mother.” He asked, “Then who?” He said, “Your mother.” He asked, “Then who?” He said, “Then your father.” (Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 5626; Muslim, 2548)

Islam honours women as daughters.

It was narrated from Abu Sa’eed al-Khudri that the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said:

“Whoever has three daughters or three sisters, or two daughters or two sisters, and takes good care of them and fears Allaah with regard to them, will enter Paradise.” (Narrated by Ibn Hibbaan in his Saheeh, 2/190)

Honor as a “Wife”

The Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) said:

“The best among you are those who treat their wives in the best manner.” – Al-Tirmidhi, Hadith 217

In the Holy Qur’an, Allah (SWT) points to marital bond as one of His signs and says,

“Among His signs is that He has created for you mates from among yourselves, that you may dwell in tranquility with them, and He has put love and mercy between your (hearts). Verily in that are Signs for those who reflect.” (30:21).

A virtuous wife is always a source of tranquility, love and mercy, as we find these in the great Muslim lady like Khadijah (R.A), the first wife of the Prophet (Peace be upon him). Allah says,

“It is He Who created you from a single person, and made his mate of like nature in order that he might dwell with her in love….” (7:189).

In Surah Baqarah (2:187) it is mentioned that

“they (wives) are your garments and you are their garments”. The inward meaning of garment is peace and security.

“Consort with them graciously. If you dislike them, it may be that you dislike something in which Allah has placed much good. (4:20)“

The Prophet, peace be upon him, was most emphatic in enjoining upon Muslims to be kind to their women when he delivered his famous sermon (Arabic: khutba on the Mount of Mercy, at Arafat, in the presence of one hundred and twenty-four thousand of his Companions who had gathered there for the Hajj al-Wada (Farewell Pilgrimage). In it he ordered those present, and through them all those Muslims who were to come later, to be respectful and kind towards women. He said:

“Fear Allah regarding women. Verily you have married them with the trust of Allah, and made their bodies lawful with the word of Allah. You have got (rights) over them, and they have got (rights) over you in respect of their food and clothing according to your means.”

Honor as a Woman – Not a Sexual Toy !

Click below here :

Why Hijab ?

Virtues and Beauty of Hijab

Conclusion:

Women are like men in some aspects and they differ from them in others. Most of the rulings of Islam apply to men and women equally. In cases where a distinction is made between the sexes, the Muslim regards that as a mercy from Allaah and a sign of His knowledge of His creation, but the arrogant kaafir sees it as oppression and injustice, so he stubbornly insists on claiming that men and women are the same. So let him tell us how a man can carry a foetus and breastfeed it? He stubbornly ignores the weakness of women and how they bleed during their monthly period, and he stubbornly beat his head against the rock of reality. But the Muslim is still at peace with his faith, surrendering to the command of Allaah.

“Should not He Who has created know? And He is the Most Kind and Courteous (to His slaves), All‑Aware (of everything)” [al-Mulk 67:14 – interpretation of the meaning]

And Allaah knows best.

The status of the family in Islam

The status of the family in Islam

Before we find out about the role of Islam in organizing and protecting the family, we should first find out what the situation of the family was before Islam, and what it is in the west in modern times.

Before Islam, the family was based on mistreatment and oppression. All affairs were controlled only by men or in other words, the males, and women and girls were oppressed and humiliated. An example of that is that if a man died and left behind a wife, his son by another wife had the right to marry her and control her life, or to prevent her from getting married. Men were the only ones who could inherit; women and children had no share. They viewed women, whether they were mothers, daughters or sisters, as a source of shame, because they could be taken as prisoners, thus bringing shame upon the family. Hence a man would bury his infant daughter alive, as is referred to in the Qur’aan, where Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

“And when the news of (the birth of) a female (child) is brought to any of them, his face becomes dark, and he is filled with inward grief! He hides himself from the people because of the evil of that whereof he has been informed. Shall he keep her with dishonour or bury her in the earth? Certainly, evil is their decision” [al-Nahl 16:58]

The family in the broader sense, i.e., the tribe, was based on supporting one another in all things, even in wrongdoing.

When Islam came, it did away with all that and established justice, giving each person his or her rights, even nursing infants, and even the miscarried foetus who was to be respected and prayed for (i.e., given a proper funeral).

When you examine the family in the west today you will find that families are disintegrating and the parents cannot control their children, whether intellectually or morally. The son has the right to go wherever he wants and do whatever he wants; the daughter has the right to sit with whoever she wants and sleep with whoever she wants, all in the name of freedom and rights. And what is the result? Broken families, children born outside marriage, (elderly) mothers and fathers who are not looked after. As some wise men have said, if you want to know the true nature of these people, go to the prisons and the hospitals and seniors’ homes, for children do not remember their parents except on holidays and special occasions.

The point is that among non-Muslims the institution of family is destroyed. When Islam came it paid a great deal of attention to the establishment of strong families and protecting them from things that could harm them, and preserving family ties whilst giving each member of the family an important role in life.

Islam honoured women, whether as mothers, daughters or sisters. It honoured women as mothers. It was narrated that Abu Hurayrah (may Allaah be pleased with him) said:

A man came to the Messenger of Allaah SAWS (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) and said, “O Messenger of Allaah, who among people is most deserving of my good company?” He said, “Your mother.” He asked, “Then who?” He said, “Your mother.” He asked, “Then who?” He said, “Your mother.” He asked, “Then who?” He said, “Then your father.” (Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 5626; Muslim, 2548)

Islam honours women as daughters. It was narrated from Abu Sa’eed al-Khudri that the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said:

“Whoever has three daughters or three sisters, or two daughters or two sisters, and takes good care of them and fears Allaah with regard to them, will enter Paradise.” (Narrated by Ibn Hibbaan in his Saheeh, 2/190)

And Islam honours women as wives. It was narrated that ‘Aa’ishah said: the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said:

“The best of you are those who are best to their wives, and I am the best of you to my wives.” (Narrated and classed as hasan by al-Tirmidhi, 3895).

Islam gave women their rights of inheritance and other rights. It gave women rights like those of men in many spheres. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Women are the twin halves of men.” (Narrated by Abu Dawood in his Sunan, 236, from the hadeeth of ‘Aa’ishah; classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh Abi Dawood, 216).

Islam encourages men to treat their wives well, and gives women the freedom to choose their husbands; it gives women much of the responsibility for raising the children.

Islam gives fathers and mothers a great deal of responsibility for raising their children. It was narrated that ‘Abd-Allaah ibn ‘Umar heard the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) say, “Each of you is a shepherd and is responsible for his flock. The leader is a shepherd and is responsible for his flock. The man is the shepherd of his family and he is responsible for his flock. The woman is the shepherd of her husband’s household and is responsible for her flock. The servant is a shepherd of his master’s wealth and is responsible for his flock.” He said, I heard this from the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him).

(Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 853; Muslim, 1829)

Islam paid a great deal attention to implanting the principle of respect for fathers and mothers, taking care of them and obeying their commands until death. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

“And your Lord has decreed that you worship none but Him. And that you be dutiful to your parents. If one of them or both of them attain old age in your life, say not to them a word of disrespect, nor shout at them but address them in terms of honour” [al-Isra’ 17:23]

Islam protects the honour, chastity, purity and lineage of the family, so it encourages marriage and forbids free mixing of men and women.

Islam gives each family member an important role to play. So fathers and mothers take care of the children and give them an Islamic upbringing; children are to listen and obey, and respect the rights of fathers and mothers, on a basis of love and respect. Even our enemies have borne witness to the strength of family ties among the Muslims.

And Allaah knows best.

Sports Car VS Holy Qura’an – Short inspirational Story !

Sports Car VS Holy Qura’an – Short inspirational Story!

A young man was getting ready to graduate college. For many months he had admired a beautiful sports car in a dealer’s showroom, and knowing his father could well afford it, he told him that was all he wanted.

As Graduation Day approached, the young man waited signs that his father had purchased the car. Finally, on the morning of his graduation his father called him into his private study. His father told him how proud he was to have such a fine son, and told him how much he loved him. He handed his son a beautiful wrapped gift box.

Curious, but somewhat disappointed the young man opened the box and found a lovely, leather-bound Quran. Angrily, he raised his voice at his father and said “With all your money you give me a Quran?” and stormed out of the house, leaving the holy book.

Many years passed and the young man was very successful in business. He had a beautiful home and wonderful family, but realized his father was very old, and thought perhaps he should go to him. He had not seen him since that graduation day.

Before he could make arrangements, he received a telegram telling him his father had passed away, and willed all of his possessions to his son. He needed to come home immediately and take care things. When he arrived at his father’s house, sudden sadness and regret filled his heart. He began to search his father’s important papers and saw the still new Quran, just as he had left it years ago. With tears, he opened the Quran and began to turn the pages.

As he read those words, a car key dropped from an envelope taped behind the Quran. It had a tag with the dealer’s name, the same dealer who had the sports car he had desired. On the tag was the date of his graduation, and the words…PAID IN FULL.

How many times do we miss ALLAH blessings because they are not packaged as we expected?

WHEN YOU THOUGHT I WASN'T LOOKING

WHEN YOU THOUGHT I WASN'T LOOKING
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A message every adult should read because children are watching you and doing as you do, not as you say.

When you thought I wasn't looking I saw you hang my first painting on the refrigerator, and I immediately wanted to paint another one.

When you thought I wasn't looking I saw you feed a stray cat, and I learned that it was good to be kind to animals.

When you thought I wasn't looking I saw you make my favorite cake for me, and I learned that the little things can be the special things in life.

When you thought I wasn't looking I heard you say a prayer, and I knew that there is a God I could always talk to, and I learned to trust in Him.

When you thought I wasn't looking I saw you make a meal and take it to a friend who was sick, and I learned that we all have to help take care of each other.

When you thought I wasn't looking I saw you take care of our house and everyone in it, and I learned we have to take care of what we are given.

When you thought I wasn't looking I saw how you handled your responsibilities, even when you didn't feel good, and I learned that I would have to be responsible when I grow up.

When you thought I wasn't looking I saw tears come from your eyes, and I learned that sometimes things hurt, but it's all right to cry.

When you thought I wasn't looking I saw that you cared, and I wanted to be everything that I could be.

When you thought I wasn't looking I learned most of life's lessons that I need to know to be a good and productive person when I grow up.

When you thought I wasn't looking I looked at you and wanted to say,'Thanks for all the things I saw when you thought I wasn't looking.'

I AM SENDING THIS TO ALL OF THE PEOPLE I KNOW WHO DO SO MUCH FOR OTHERS, BUT THINK THAT NO ONE EVER SEES. LITTLE EYES SEE A LOT .

Each of us (parent, grandparent, aunt, uncle, teacher, friend) influences the life of a child.

How will you touch the life of someone today?

Sick Heart ?

In the name of Allah, the most gracious, the most compassionate

Ten sicknesses of the heart:

1.you believe in the existence of Allah Ta’ala, but you dont fulfill His commands

2.you say you love the Holy Prophet Muhammed(p.b.u.h), but you don not follow his sunnah

3.you read the Quran but you don not put it into practice

4.You enjoy the benefits from Allah Ta’ala, but you are not grateful to him

5.You acknowledge Shaytan as your enemy but you do not go against HIm

6.You want to enter paradise but you dont work for it

7.You dont want to be thrown into hell-fire, but you do not try to get away(i.e. do good deeds)

8.You believe that every living-thing will face death, but you do not prepare for it

9.You gossip and find faults in others, but you forget your own faults and mistakes

10.You bury the dead, but you don not take a lesson from it

From the Glorious Quran:

O ye who believe! Obey Allah and His Messenger, and turn not away from him when ye hear (him speak).

Nor be like those who say, “We hear,” but listen not:

For the worst of beasts in the sight of Allah are the deaf and the dumb,- those who understand not.

If Allah had found in them any good. He would indeed have made them listen: (As it is), if He had made them listen, they would but have turned back and declined (Faith).

O ye who believe! give your response to Allah and His Messenger, when He calleth you to that which will give you life; and know that Allah cometh in between a man and his heart, and that it is He to Whom ye shall (all) be gathered.

[Al-Anfal, verses 20-24]

The Etiquette of Dealing with Parents

The Etiquette of Dealing with Parents

1. Behave well towards your father and mother

Behave well towards your father and mother and consider this good conduct as a propitious act which will earn God’s grace in this world as well as in the next. Next to God, man owes the greatest obligation to his parents. The greatness and value of this obligation towards one’s parents may be realised from the fact that the Holy Qur’an at several points mentions the rights of parents and the rights of God simultaneously at one place. Furthermore, the Holy Qur’an has ordained the duty of offering thanks to the parents along with thanksgiving to the Lord.

“Thy Lord hath decreed that ye worship none save Him and (that ye show) kindness to parents.” [17:23]

Hadrat ‘Abdullah ibn Mas’ud (radiAllahu anhu) relates “I submitted to the Holy Prophet (salAllahu alayhi wasalam) which deed will win the highest favour of God?” The Holy Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) answered : “The prayer which is offered at the appointed hour. I submitted again: ‘Next to this which other deed will win the greatest favour of God?’ The Holy Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) affirmed : “Good conduct towards father and mother.” I again submitted : ‘And next to this?’ The Prophet of God (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) observed: “Jihad [literally, earnest endeavour; in this context it means armed conflict or fighting] in the way of Allah.” [sahih al-Bukhari, Muslim]

Hadrat ‘Abdullah (radiAllahu anhu) reports : “One day a person went to the presence of the Holy Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) and submitted : “I give my hand into your hand and swear allegiance for performing Hijrat and Jihad and I beseech a reward from God in return for this.” The Holy Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) enquired: “Is one of your parents alive?” He submitted: “Yes, praise be to God, both my father and mother are alive.” Thereupon the Prophet of God (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) observed : “Well then do you really want to receive a reward from God for performing Hijrat andJihad?” The man replied : “Yes, indeed, I beseech reward from God in return for these acts.” The Holy Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) observed : “Go then. Attend to your parents and serve them well”. [Muslim]

Hadrat Abu Umama (radiAllahu anhu) relates: “A man enquired from the Holy Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him): “O Prophet of God (peace and blessings of Allah be upon you)! What are the rights of parents over their offspring?” The Holy Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) affirmed: “Your entry into Paradise or Hell depends on your good or bad conduct towards your parents.” [Ibn Majah]

In other words, if you treat them well, you will be sent to Paradise and if you violate the rights that your parents have over you, you will be consigned to serve as fuel for Hell-Fire.”

2. Be grateful to your parents

Thanksgiving and an acknowledgement of debt and gratitude are the first duties which a beneficiary owes to the benefactor. It is a fact that the parents are the palpable cause for our existence. Again, it is under their protection and upbringing that we grow up to an age of maturity. The extraordinary self- sacrifice, unparalleled devotion and deep affection with which they patronize us demand that our hearts should be filled with sentiments of reverence, indebtedness, love and an acknowledgement of their magnanimity and every fibre of our heart should pulsate with feelings of gratitude to them. It is for this reason that God has ordained offering of gratitude to parents along with thanksgiving to Him.

“(We willed) that you should offer thanks to Me and remain grateful to your father and mother.”

3. Always try to make your parents happy

Do not say anything in opposition to their will or temperament which may displease them, especially when they are advanced in age they acquire a peevish and irritable temperament. In old age parents start making unexpected demands and begin proffering impossible claims. In this case also tolerate their behaviour in good cheer and do not say anything in anger in response to their demands which may cause them pain and may injure their feelings.

“If one or both of thy parents reach an advanced age with thee, say not ‘fie’ unto them nor repulse them.”

As a matter of fact, the strength to tolerate unpleasant things is sapped daring old age and weakness increases the sense of self-importance in old people. Hence they react sensitively to even minor offensive matters. Keeping in view their delicate and sensitive nature, do not let your parents feel angry by any of your words or deeds.

Hadrat ‘Abdullah b. Amr (radiAllahu anhu) relates that the Holy Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) affirmed : “The pleasure of God is contained in the pleasure of the father even as His displeasure is contained in the displeasure of the father.” [at-Tirmidhi, Ibn Hibban, Hakim]

In other words, anyone who wants to please God should seek the pleasure of his father, for if the father is angry, the favour of God cannot be earned. The one who makes his father angry provokes the wrath of God.”

Another statement of Hadrat ‘Abdullah (radiAllahu anhu) runs as follows: “A man left his parents weeping and came to the presence of the Holy Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) for the purpose of offering allegiance to the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) for Hijrah. The Holy Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) observed to him: “Go back to your parents and return after making them happy as you came after leaving them crying.” [Abu Dawud]

4. Do service to your parents with heart and soul

If God has afforded you the opportunity to serve your parents, it is in fact a favourable opportunity for you to earn entitlement to Paradise and to win the Pleasure of God. Good service to parents secures blessings and grace in both worlds and man obtains salvation from the calamities of this world and the next. Hadrat Anas (God be pleased ‘with him) relates:

“Any man who desires that his life should be prolonged and his subsistence may be increased ought to do good service to his parents and show kindness to them.” [al-Targhib-o-Tarhib]

The Holy Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) has observed : ”Let that man be disgraced, and disgraced again and let him be disgraced even more.” The people enquired : “O Prophet of God (peace and blessings of Allah be upon you) who is that man?” The Prophet of God (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) affirmed: “I refer to the man who finds his parents old in age – both of them or one of them – and yet did not earn entitlement to Paradise by rendering good service to them.”
[Muslim]

On one occasion, the Holy Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) gave precedence to the obligation of looking after one’s parents over one of the supreme forms of worship like Jihad. The Holy Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) forbade a companion (God be pleased with him) to proceed on Jihad and urged him to look after his parents.

Hadrat ‘Abdullah ibn ‘Amr (radiAllahu anhu) relates that a person came to the presence of the Holy Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah he upon him) with the intention of participating in the Jihad. The Holy Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) enquired from him : “Are your father and mother alive?” He submitted : “Yes, they are alive”. The Holy Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) thereupon observed: “Go and render good service to them. This is the Jihad”. [sahih al-Bukhari, Muslim]

5. Respect and adore your parents

Respect and adore your parents and do not show disrespect to them by a single word or action. The Holy Qur’an affirms:

“But speak to them a gracious word.” [17:23]

On one occasion Hadrat ‘Abdullah b. ‘Umar (radiAllahu anhu) enquired from Hadrat Ibn ‘Abbas (radiAllahu anhu) : “Do you wish to ward off Hell and gain entry into Paradise?” Ibn ‘Abbas (radiAllahu anhu) answered : “Yes, why not, I swear in the name of God I cherish this desire”. Hadrat Ibn ‘Umar (radiAllahu anhu) then asked : “Are your parents alive?” Ibn ‘Abbas (radiAllahu anhu) replied : “Yes, my mother is alive,” Ibn ‘Umar (radiAllahu anhu) remarked: “If you talk to them in a polite manner and look after their needs and feed them well, you will certainly be admitted to Paradise provided you abstain from capital evils.” [Al-Adab al-Mufrad]

Hadrat Abu Hurairah (radiAllahu anhu) once saw two men. He asked one of them : “What is your relationship with the other man?” The person replied: “He is my father.” Hadrat Abu Hurairah (radiAllahu anhu) thereupon advised him, “Look, never call him by his proper name, walk ahead of him nor sit before he takes his seat.” [Al-Adab al-Mufrad]

6. Be faithful and humble towards your parents

“And lower unto them the wing of submission through mercy.” [17:23]

To offer humble obedience to parents implies to pay constant regard to their dignity. Do not assume a haughty attitude towards them, nor treat them with insolence.

7. Love your parents

Love your parents and consider this act as a privilege and a source of reward in the eternal world. Hadrat Ibn ‘Abbas (radiAllahu anhu) relates that the Holy Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) observed : “The pious offspring who casts a single look of affection at his parents receives a reward from God equal to the reward of an accepted Hajj.” The people submitted: “O Prophet of God (peace and blessings of Allah be upon you) : If someone casts a hundred such glances of love and affection at his parents, what then?” The Holy Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) observed;

“Yes, indeed, even if one does so a hundred times a day, he will get a hundred fold reward. God is far greater than you imagine and is completely free from petty narrow mindedness.”
[Muslim]

8. Obey your parents with full devotion

Obey your parents with full devotion. Even if they show some intransigence, obey their will cheerfully. Keeping in view the great favours which they have done to you, try to fulfil all their demands willingly which may be offensive to your own taste or temperament, provided, of course, they are not derogatory to the tenets of religion.

Hadrat Abu Sa’id (radiAllahu anhu) narrates that a person came to the presence of the Holy Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) from Yemen. The Prophet of God (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) enquired from him, “Do you have any relations in Yemen?’ He submitted: “Yes, my father and mother are there”. The Holy Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) then asked: “Did they give you permission to leave?” He submitted: “No, I did not take their permission”.

The Prophet of God (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) thereupon observed : “Go back then and ask the permission of your father and mother. If they agree, come back and join the Jihad, otherwise, attend on them and render good service to them.” [Abu Dawud]

Realize the value of rendering obedience to parents from the fact that a man came from miles intending to join the Holy Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) in Holy war for the glory of religion, yet the Holy Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) turned him back saying: “You can join the Holy War only if both your father and mother allow you to do so.”

Hadrat Ibn ‘Abbas (radiAllahu anhu) reports that the Holy Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) observed:

“The man who wakes up in the morning having previously discharged all the duties and obligations laid upon him by God concerning his parents, he will find the two gates of Paradise open for him on waking up in the morning; and in case there is only one parent, the person will find one door of Paradise open for him. And in contrast if a man wakes up in the morning having previously disregarded any obligations or duties laid upon him by God concerning his parents, then he will find two gates of Hell open for him on waking up in the morning; and in case one of the parents is alive, then the man will find one gate of Hell open for him.” The man submitted: “O Prophet of God (peace and blessings of Allah be upon you), if the parents are treating him wrongly, what then?” The Holy Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) affirmed: “Yes, even if they are treating him wrongly; yes, indeed, even if they are treating him wrongly.”
[Mishkat]

9. Spend Good on Them

Consider your own goods as the property of your parents and spend your capital on them with an open hand. The Holy Qur’an affirms:

Yus’alunaka madha yunfiquna qul ma anfaqtum min khairin falil walidaini. [2:215]

They ask thee, what they shall spend. Say what ye spend for good mast go to parents.”

On one occasion a man came to the presence of the Holy Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) and complained that his father took whatever goods he wanted from him. The Holy Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) sent for that man’s father. An old, infirm man came walking with the help of a stick. When the Holy Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) interrogated him on the point, the old man submitted: “O Prophet of God (peace and blessings of Allah be upon you)! There was a time when I was strong and he was weak and helpless. I had money and he was empty-handed. I never forbade him then to lay his hands on anything that I possessed. Today, he is strong and healthy and I am old and infirm. He has money and I am empty-handed. He now denies me access to his goods.” Upon hearing this tale of the old man, the Benefactor of the humanity (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) burst into tears and addressing the son of the old man observed: “You and your goods are the property of your father.”

10. Even if your father and mother are non-Muslim, treat them well

Even if your father and mother are non-Muslims, treat them well. Continue to pay them respect and devotion and serve them faithfully. However, in case they command you to become a polytheist or indulge in a sinful act, refuse to obey them and sternly repulse their demand.

“And if your (parents) pressure you to associate someone with Me of which you
have no knowledge, obey them not, yet continue to treat them well in the world.”

Hadrat Asma’ (radiAllahu anha) states: “In the sacred lifetime of the Holy Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him), my mother visited me on one occasion. She was a polytheist at that time. I submitted to the Holy Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him): “My mother has come to pay me a visit and she is an unbeliever in Islam. How should I treat her?”

The Holy Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) observed: “Yes, you should continue to show kindness to your mother.” [sahih al-Bukhari]

11. Offer prayers begging grace for your parents

Offer prayers begging grace for your parents, Bring to mind their fervent appeals to the Lord and beg His mercy for them with a zealous and sincere heart. God ordains:

“And say: My Lord! Have mercy on them both
as they did care for me when I was little.”

In other words, say: “O Creator, with mercy, devotion, affection and love, my Lord, they reared me in childhood and sacrificed their own pleasure and ease for my sake but, they, in their infirmity and helplessness of old age, are more deserving of kindness, and love than I ever was. God! I can pay them no recompense. Do patronize them and show them mercy in their miserable state”.

12. Observe special care in looking after your mother

Observe special care in looking after your mother. By nature, the mother is weak and more sensitive and needs your better treatment and devotion. Moreover, her favours and sacrifices are comparatively far greater than the father. Hence religion has conceded preferential rights to the mother and has enjoined upon the believers to treat their mothers with special consideration. The Holy Qur’an affirms:

“And We have commanded unto man kindness towards parents.
His mother beareth him with suffering,
bringeth him forth with suffering,
bearing of him and weaning of him is thirty months.” [46:15]

While enjoining upon the believers to show good behaviour towards both father and mother, the Holy Qur’an has drawn a poignant picture of constant suffering of pain and hardships by the mother and has excellently pointed out in a psychological manner the fact that the devoted mother deserves comparatively more of your service and kind behaviour than your father. The same fact has been elucidated in greater detail by the Prophet of God (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him).

Hadrat Abu Hurairah (radiAllahu anhu) reports: “A man came to the presence of the Holy Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) and submitted “O Prophet of God (peace and blessings of Allah be upon you!’ Who deserves the noblest treatment from me?’ The Holy Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) observed: “Your mother.” He again submitted: “And next?’ The Holy Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) observed : “Your mother.” When the man submitted for the fourth time: “And who next?” The Holy Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) observed: “Your father.” [Al-Adab al-Mufrad]

Hadrat Jahma (radiAllahu anhu) paid a call on the Holy Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) and submitted:

“O Prophet of God (peace and blessings of Allah be upon you)! I wish to join you in the Jihad and have come to solicit your guidance in this matter. I seek your command.” The Holy Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) enquired from him : “Is your mother alive?” Jahma (God be pleased with him) submitted: “Yea, she is alive.” Thereupon the Holy Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him), said ”Return to her then and devote yourself to her service, for Paradise lies under her feet.” [Ibn Majah, Nasa'i]

Hadrat Uwais (radiAllahu anhu) was a contemporary of the Holy Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him), but be could never attain the privilege of calling on the Holy Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him). He had an old mother to whose service he devoted himself day and night. He cherished a great desire to see the Holy Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) and it was but natural for every Muslim to have a burning desire to catch a glimpse of the Prophet of God (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him). Hadrat Uwais (radiAllahu anhu) indeed wanted to pay a call, yet the Holy Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) forbade him to come. Similarly, Hadrat Uwais (radiAllahu anhu) cherished an ambition to discharge the obligation ofHajj, yet as long as his mother remained alive, Hadrat Uwais (radiAllahu anhu) never set out for the Hajj alone, he fulfilled the desire to perform Hajj only after his mother’s demise.

13. Treat your foster mother well

Treat your foster mother well. Do service to her and show her respect and adoration. Hadrat Abu Tafail (radiAllahu anhu) states: ”I once witnessed the Holy Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) distributing meat at a place called ‘Ja’rana’. Presently, a lady arrived and approached near the Holy Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him). The Prophet of God (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) spread out his sheet for her and the lady sat on it. I enquired from the people, “Who is this lady?” The people told me: “This lady is the foster mother of the Holy Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him). [abu Dawud]

14. Remember your parents after they have passed away

Remember your parents after they have passed away. Observe the following etiquette to render good service to your deceased parents:

i. Offer prayers continuously invoking mercy of God upon your dead father and mother.

The Holy Qur’an enjoins upon the pious to say this prayer: O our Lord! Grant forgiveness to me and my parents and pardon all the faithful on the day of Reckoning.

Hadrat Abu Hurairah (radiAllahu anhu) states: “When the deceased is elevated to high degrees of favour, he inquires in astonishment : “How so?” He is informed by God, “Your offspring have been offering prayers begging mercy for you (and God has accepted those petitions of mercy).”

Hadrat Abu Hurairah (radiAllahu anhu) also states: “The Holy Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) observed : The opportunity to do something ends with one’s death, yet there are three things which continue to afford benefit to him after death – a recurring charitable act; knowledge which he has imparted to others from which people derive benefit and thirdly, pious offspring who continue to offer prayers invoking mercy of God upon him.

ii. Fulfil all the contracts and promises made by your parents and carry out their will.

Your parents must have made many agreements with some people, they might have made a covenant with God; they might have taken a vow; they might have promised to deliver goods to someone; they might have owed a debt to somebody but were unable to discharge it before death overtook them; they might have made a will at the time of their death. Fulfil all these obligations to the extent of your means.

Hadrat ‘Abdullah b. ‘Abbas (radiAllahu anhu) narrates: “Hadrat Sa’d b. ‘Ubada (radiAllahu anhu) submitted to the Holy Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him), “O Prophet of God (peace and blessings of Allah be upon you)! My mother had taken a vow, but she expired before discharging it. Can I carry out the vow on her behalf?” The Holy Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) affirmed: “Why not! You must carry out the vow taken by her.”

iii. Show good conduct to the friends of your father and the female companions of your mother.

Treat them with respect. Seek their advice just as you seek the advice of your elders and pay due regard to their opinions and advice. On one occasion, the Holy Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) observed : “There is no superior deed of piety than that man should do good service to the companions and friends of his father.”

Once Hadrat Abu Darda (radiAllahu anhu) fell ill and his condition continued to aggravate till they lost all hope of his life. Hadrat Yusuf b. ‘Abdullah (radiAllahu anhu) made a long journey and came to enquire after his health. On seeing him, Hadrat Abu Darda asked in astonishment: “How are you here?” Yusuf b. ‘Abdullah (radiAllahu anhu) replied : “I have come here only to enquire after your health, for you were on terms of deep friendship with my late father.”

Hadrat Abu Barda (radiAllahu anhu) relates: “When I arrived in Medina, ‘Abdullah b. ‘Umar (radiAllahu anhu) paid me a visit and said : “Abu Barda (God be pleased with you), do you know why I have come to see you?” I replied : “No, I have no idea why you have come here.” Thereupon Hadrat ‘Abdullah b. “Umar (radiAllahu anhu) said: “I have heard the Prophet of God (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) as affirming: “The man who wishes to render good service to his father, who is in the grave, ought to show good treatment to his father’s companions and friends.” Having related this saying of the Holy Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) ‘Abdullah b. ‘Umar (radiAllahu anhu) remarked: “Brother, my father “Umar and your father (radiAllahu anhu) were on terms of deep friendship. I wish to commemorate this friendship and fulfil its duties.” [Ibn Hibban]

iv. Show constant good treatment to the relations of your parents and entertain full respect and pay due regard to the sanctity of these connections.

An indifferent and irresponsible conduct towards these relations is tantamount to treating your own parents with indifference and negligence. The Holy Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) observed: “Do not observe indifference towards your forefathers. To show carelessness in your conduct towards your parents is to display ingratitude to God.”

15. Discharge your full obligations towards your parents in their lifetime

If, God forbid, you have been guilty of negligence in treating your parents well or discharging your full obligations towards them during their lifetime, do not despair of God’s mercy. Offer prayers constantly invoking blessings of God upon your deceased parents. It is possible God may forgive your sin of negligence and admit you among the ranks of the pious people.

Hadrat Anas (radiAllahu anhu) relates: The Holy Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) affirmed: ”If a person does not observe filial devotion to his parents during their lifetime, and both parents or one of them passes away, the person ought to offer prayers for his deceased parents and beg His Mercy and beseech Him to grant salvation to them till God in His Mercy ordains their admission to the rolls of the pious people.”

Cursing, Taunting and Abusing in Islam is prohibited

Cursing, Taunting and Abusing in Islam is prohibited

Muslims should neither curse nor imprecate each other with words such as, ‘May the Curse of Allah be upon you,’ or ‘I wish you to burn in Hell-fire,’ etc.Narrated Samurah Ibn Jundub (radhi allahu anhu), ‘Allah’s Messenger (sallallahu aliahi wa-sallam) said,

‘Do not curse one another, invoking curse of Allah or Wrath of Allah or the fire of Hell’ [Abu Dawood, at-Tirmidhee]

To curse a Muslim is akin to killing him. Allah’s Messenger (sallallahu aliahi wa-sallam) said, Cursing a believer is like murdering him.’ [Agreed upon]

The act of cursing is such that one who does it can himself become a recipient of it.

Narrated Abu Darda (radhi allahu anhu),

Allah’s Messenger (sallallahu aliahi wa-sallam) said, When a person curses (La’nah; to ask that something be deprived of Allah’s Mercy) somebody or something, the curse goes up to the heaven and the gates of the heaven are closed. Then it comes down to the earth and its gates are closed. Then it turns right and left, and if it does not find an entrance to go anywhere, it returns to the person or thing that was cursed, if he or it deserves to be cursed; otherwise, it returns to the person, who uttered it.’ [Abu Dawood] Allah’s Messenger (sallallahu aliahi wa-sallam) also warned, ‘Those who frequently resort to cursing would neither be accepted as witnesses nor as intercessors on the Day of Resurrection’ [Saheeh Muslim]

It is not allowed to curse, disgrace or humiliate even a sinner because in doing so, one helps the Shaytan, who is avowed to disgrace and humiliate Muslims before Allah. Narrated Abu Hurayrah (radhi allahu anhu), ‘A drunkard was brought to the Prophet (sallallahu aliahi wa-sallam). He (r) said, ‘Give him a beating.’ Then some beat him with their hands, some with their shoes, and some with (a folded) piece of cloth. When he left, someone said to him, ‘May Allah disgrace you!‘ The Prophet (sallallahu aliahi wa-sallam) said, ‘Do not help

Shaytan overcome him by uttering such words’ [Saheeh al-Bukharee]

Moreover, it is incorrect to curse a sinner because perhaps, the person may have sought Istagfar (seek forgiveness for one’s sins) and Allah, the All-Forgiving, may have forgiven the person for his transgression. It is related in Saheeh Muslim that during the time of Allah’s Messenger (sallallahu aliahi wa-sallam), when a woman was being punished for the sin of adultery, her blood spurted upon Khalid Ibn Waleed (radhi allahu anhu), who swore at her. Thereupon, the Prophet (sallallahu aliahi wa-sallam) said, ‘Khalid, be gentle. By Him, in Whose Hand is my life, she has made such a repentance that even if a wrongful tax collector were to repent, he would have been forgiven.’ He (sallallahu aliahi wa-sallam) then prayed over her and she was buried. Therefore, the right conduct would be to pray for his or her guidance and refrain from any critique, cursing or humiliation.

Even the deceased Muslims should not be censured or condemned for their wrongdoings, for, they have reached their end and they are receiving the return of their deeds in the Hereafter. Aa’isha (radhi allahu anha) narrated, ‘The Messenger of Allah (sallallahu aliahi wa-sallam) said, ‘Do not abuse the dead, because they have attained that which they had forwarded (i.e., their deeds, good or bad).’ [Saheeh al-Bukharee]

Taunting is prohibited

Taunting is to insult, reproach mockingly or disgrace someone, for e.g. with reference to his lineage, appearance or shortcoming. Narrated Ibn Mas’ood (radhi allahu anhu), ‘Allah’s Messenger (sallallahu aliahi wa-sallam) said,

‘A true believer is not involved in taunting, or frequently cursing or in indecency or abusing.” [At-Tirmidhee]

Abusing is prohibited

Narrated Abu Hurayrah (radhi allahu anhu), ‘Allah’s Messenger (sallallahu aliahi wa-sallam) said,

‘When two persons indulge in abusing each other, the beginner will be the sinner, so long, as the oppressed does not transgress the limits.’ [Saheeh Muslim]

This Hadeeth tells us that if a Muslim abuses another and says unfair things about him and in return, the recipient also abuses him and says unfair things to the same extent, then the entire burden of the sin of abusing lies upon the person who initiated the quarrel. However, if the one, who is wronged, exceeds the limits in revenge, then he will also be guilty to the degree of his excess. Thus, even though, revenge is permissible, it is better to forgive and be patient