In The name of Allah,The Most Merciful,The Most gracious
The noblest branches of knowledge are those that bring you close to the Creator and help you to be pleasing to Him.
Imam Ibn Hazm
Do not attach your heart other than Allah by Ibn Taymiyyah:
Imam ibn Taymiyyah rahimahullah said:
Anyone whose heart is attached to the creation, hoping for someone from the creation to help him or provide for him or guide him, then his heart submits to them and to the degree that his heart submits to them, he becomes their slave. This holds true, even if he is outwardly a ruler or guardian over those whom he treats as masters. The wise one looks at realities and not at appearances. So if a man’s heart is attached to his wife, even though that is permissible, his heart remains a prisoner to her and she may rule over him as she pleases – though outwardly he is her master and her husband. In reality, he is her prisoner and her slave, especially if she knows how much he is in need of her and how much he is in love with her and how much he feels she cannot be replaced by anyone else. At that point, she rules over him as the tyrant master rules over his subjugated slave, who cannot escape of go free. Indeed for the heart to be taken as a prisoner is a much greater matter than for the body to be taken as a slave or prisoner. Even a body that is a slave can have in it a serene and peaceful and happy heart. As for the heart that is a slave to other than Allah (the Exalted), then that is true humiliation, imprisonment and slavery.
“It is a duty of a Muslim who has anything to bequeath not to let two nights pass without including it in his will.” (Bukhari)
Saturday, May 7, 2011
The disease of laziness and overcoming it
During the time of Prophet Muhammad sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam, an incident happened in which a man slept the entire night and he missed the Fajr prayer. Despite the fact that this is a very common occurrence in our present day, at that time such things rarely happened. He missed Fajr, and so they came and spoke to the Prophet sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam about this.
‘Abdullaah ibn Mas’ood, radi Allaahu anhu narrates: A man came and said to the Prophet sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam, “Oh Messenger of Allah, verily a person slept last night until the morning, until the dawn came and he missed Fajr.”
The Prophet sal Allaahu alayhi wa sallam replied, “This is a person whom the devil has urinated in his ears.”
Dear brothers and sisters, try going to any books of hadith and in each and every one you will find a chapter entitled Baab al-Isti’aadhah Minal Kasl. Translated, this chapter is called: ‘Chapter of Seeking Allah’s Protection from Laziness.’
Kasl, or laziness, also known as procrastination, is a disease. University students know what procrastination can do to their studies. It is a disease that afflicts the minds, after the mind, it then afflicts the heart, and finally, through the heart, the body is afflicted.
Today, you will learn that laziness is a technique used by Satan, and today you will learn the techniques you can use to combat it.
The Prophet sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam frequently made the following supplication:
“Oh Allah, I seek your protection from, alajz” – which means the inability to do something. And when someone said, “I can’t do that,” The Prophet sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam would seek protection from such negative speech by adding: “and I seek your protection (Oh Allah) from alkasl”- which is translated as laziness.
At its core this society is built on laziness. Consider that it is a society based on the idea that we have to rest on Sundays. “Why do you have to rest on Sundays?” some may ask, and society (may Allah protect us from this) would answer that even Allah got lazy on Sunday. He did His work all week long; He built the heavens and the earth, and then on Sunday He got tired and rested. So, may Allah protect us. Contemporary culture has us resting and watching football games on Sundays.
Allah subhaanahu wa ta’aala testifies to the lunacy of such an idea, implicitly stating that
…there is no drowsiness and no sleep that comes to Him (Al-Baqarah 2/255).
In addition, we live in a society that lives for ‘fast and easy’. You have the fast food joints, even the microwave meals that take 5 minutes are considered tedious because you have to take it out after a couple of minutes and stir it before it is finished cooking. Ever hear the promises to have the perfect body in ten minutes for only three days a week? Examples abound. And in its quest for ‘fast and easy’, society does not realize that the root of its problems, indeed, the root of all major sins, lies in laziness.
Why would a person take alcohol and drugs? They are too lazy to change their situation. Instead of actively striving for change, they take a drug to immediately change it. Why do people practice black magic, a phenomenon that is, unfortunately, prevalent in many of our parent’s societies? They do it because they are too lazy to go out and get married, or they’re too lazy to influence people in ways that will accomplish their various goals. Why do people partake in riba’ (mortgages as an example) and deal with financial interest? They are too lazy to get a proper job and work to pay for something honestly. Why do people gamble? They addictively buy lottery tickets at ridiculous odds of winning in the hopes that their one dollar will instantly earn millions. Laziness is again the culprit. Why do people backbite? People backbite because they are too lazy to go and tell the person the truth. And these, dear brothers and sisters, are all major sins.
Thus, like a poison, laziness corrupts all good things.
There are beautiful and amazing things that you want to do for yourself, or do for Allah subhaahanu wa ta’aala. Your intention is good, but if you don’t have the energy, or you suffer from the laziness plight, your desires will go nowhere; they will bear no fruit.
The causes of this disease, called laziness, are rooted in the heart.
Firstly, a lazy person doesn’t know and doesn’t understand his or her need to accumulate good deeds. We understand the need to accumulate money, but we may not understand why or how to accumulate good deeds. Very few people understand that this life is about collecting deeds and preparing for the journey of the hereafter.
Allah subhaanahu wa ta’aala advises,
…to prepare your provisions (for the journey to the hereafter) and the best provision is taqwa (fear/piety) of Allah subhaanahu wa ta’aala (Al-Baqarah 2/197).
Secondly, people are discouraged by the thought that others will consider them ‘holier than thou.’ Or perhaps the problem is that some people think too highly of themselves, glorifying themselves to such a high level that when they hear the commandments of Allah subhaanahu wa ta’aala they reply by justifying their laziness with excuses like, “My heart is clean,” or “Why do I have to do that,” or “I’m a good person.” Allah subhaanahu wa ta’aala states:
Do not claim piety to yourselves (An-Najm 53/32).
If someone says, “I’m good,” the response should be, “Allah knows best who is true, who is righteous.”
Indeed, those who suffer from laziness don’t understand the gold mine of opportunity awaiting them. There are thousands of people around you waiting to hear the call of Islam. You are living among sponges ready to listen to you say, “I am a Muslim.” And they are going to ask, “How can I become one too?”
A brother I knew overseas said it perfectly: “The North Americans have such enormous prospects. Imagine teaching a new Muslim Surah al-Fatiha, or how to pray. You will get the reward for this most noble lesson each time the person recites this surah. You can’t do that in Muslim countries, although there are other different opportunities there, most people don’t recognize them and this leads to laziness.”
Know that this concerns you, and if you start demonstrating the energy and zeal it takes to worship Allah to the best of your ability, then you will be the one to benefit.
This is your life; this is your soul. You are only going to live once on this earth, and you’ll be traveling to the hereafter with a suitcase of good deeds. Hopefully, you won’t be traveling light. The one who understands this early on, the one to get on the bandwagon of the worship of Allah subhaanahu wa ta’aala early on, accumulates everything.
Be a pioneer; bring Islam to everyone.
And so they come on the day of resurrection and they see mountains of good deeds that they never imagined they would have had and it will be said to them this is because you weren’t lazy when other people were lazy.
Recognize the opportunity, seize it, and kick start the worship of Allah subhaanahu wa ta’aala by others.
But if you choose not to heed these words, to yawn, and to be lazy, you are turning your back on the words of Allah subhaanahu wa ta’aala. And the consequences will be grave, for the sunnah of creation, indeed the law of nature, stipulates that that which does not contribute will be destroyed. What do you do with weeds in your garden? You pull them out, you get rid of them. What do you do when your nails get too long, when there is no purpose to their length? You snip them off, discard them in the trash. And so it is, as a community and as individuals in that community, if we are not contributing, and if we are not energetically producing, we will be deemed useless and we will be eliminated.
Allah subhaanahu wa ta’aala says:
In this way, He gives forth the parable of the truth and falsehood and the vanity. Vanity is like the foam, the dirt on the ocean (there is no benefit to it). But the things that do bring benefit (those devoid of laziness) will remain steadfast in the land (Ar-Ra’d 13/17).
Even after you are gone, your good deeds will continue to benefit.
Do not make the mistake of thinking that Allah pays attention to the lazy one’s worship. Prophet Muhammad sal Allaahu alayhi wa sallam said:
“Do those deeds that you are able to perform, for verily, Allah will not tire of your ‘ibadah (worship) until you tire.”
Ponder the phenomenon of those who make du’a absentmindedly, not knowing what it is that they are saying. They may even be yawning, confused, or focused on something else entirely. Allah is not paying attention to that person just like they are not paying attention to their du’a. That is a du’a that is not answered by Allah subhaanahu wa ta’aala. A du’a that is answered is the one where the person’s heart and energy are invested in it. Allah will listen. If you can consistently take your du’a to that level, you’ll see dramatic changes in your life.
When I was younger, there was an imam from overseas who came to lead the taraweeh prayers in Ramadan. We would have to pick him up at Fajr time and drive him to the masjid. One early morning, I was feeling particularly tired and lazy. My parents had an especially hard time waking me up. Yet, when we arrived at the Imam’s house, I noticed that the neighbors were in the midst of an all-night party. It was 5 am and their lights were blaring, their music was booming, and the party-goers were still drinking their alcohol. They’d spent the entire night awake in qiyaamul layl, but not to Allah subhaanahu wa ta’aala. Their worship was for the devil.
I remember thinking to myself that this disbeliever has the stamina and energy to waste the night away, how can the servant of Allah subhaanahu wa ta’aala not have the energy and ability to worship Him? After all, they too are humans like us. ‘Umar ibn al-Khattab radi Allaahu anhu is quoted as saying, “I seek Allah’s protection from the time when the fasiq or disobedient will have much energy and enthusiasm and the righteous will be lazy.” The fasiq will open up bars everywhere and run his houses of immorality with vigor. And the righteous will do little to nothing in the sake of Allah. When this happens, there is an imbalance on earth, and corruption will be widespread and prevalent.
Brothers and sisters, let me tell you about the blessedness of having energy and enthusiasm in worshipping Allah and what it will do for you.
Number 1: The extra energy will win you the pleasure of Allah subhaanahu wa ta’aala.
Musa alayhis salaam was told to come to the mountain for 40 days. And come he did, not walking slowly, not ten minutes late, but running. In explaining his arrival, Musa said,
I came hastily to you, oh Allah, so that you will be pleased with me (Taha 20/84).
And indeed, his words were so pleasing to his creator that Allah recorded them in the Qur’an for all eternity.
When you hear a name of a prophet’s companion, you say, “May Allah be pleased with him.” Well, this is how you get that same distinction for yourself. Be hasty in your desire and actions that lead to goodness.
Number 2: Having energy is the characteristic of the believer. Being lazy is the characteristic of the hypocrite.
Allah subhaanahu wa ta’aala says the munafiq, or hypocrite is he who has disbelief in his heart, while outwardly claiming belief. Allah subhaanahu wa ta’aala describes them in the following verse:
If they get up for the salah (prayer), they get up with laziness (An-Nisaa’ 4/142).
“Give me ten more minutes…give me ten more minutes… oh! I missed Fajr…oh no. I’ll pray after Fajr. Give me ten more minutes…give me ten more minutes…”
A characteristic of hypocrisy is when they reach for that snooze button and get up lazily for prayer. In this moment they’re experiencing a state of nifaq or hypocrisy. May Allah protect us.
May He also protect us from using excuses to not follow through with our deeds.
A Canadian may say it’s too cold; an African will say it’s too hot. Both are making excuses for not doing good actions. It was summer in the desert during the time of the Battle of Tabuk, and there was a walking distance of what is today a seven-hour car trip from Madinah to Tabuk. The Prophet sal Allaahu alayhi wa sallam was rallying his troops for an exhaustive trek that, back then, would have taken months.
Allah subhaanahu wa ta’aala says,
…they (the hypocrites) encouraged people not to go with the Prophet sal Allaahu alayhi wa sallam by saying, “Do not go out in the heat.” Allah subhaanahu wa ta’aala’s response was to tell them, “The fire of hell is much hotter; if only they understood” (At-Tauba 9/81).
Ibn al-Jawzee, may Allah have mercy on his soul, said, “I have never seen a flaw sadder to me than a community whose people stop working, despite having the ability to continue.”
The ramifications of laziness can be very harmful. Some of you may have come across a person who displays a genuine interest in Islam. That person may be about to take the shahada when Shaytan gets to him and her. An excuse the devil uses is, “You have to comprehend the Qur’an first.” Hence the would-be Muslim is convinced that they do love Islam, but perhaps further study is required. And so it is that he or she delays coming back to Allah subhaanahu wa ta’aala, and as time passes they may no longer possess the same enthusiasm.
Similarly, Muslims seeking to make repentance to Allah subhaanahu wa ta’aala might give themselves time by saying, “Let me wait till I pay off my mortgage (or pay off my student loans. Let me wait till I do this, let me wait till I do that) then I will repent to Allah.” But it doesn’t work like that because as time passes and sins grow, the heart consistently gets weaker and weaker. A time will come when the person knows it’s the last chance, but the heart may have already been sealed shut.
And as Prophet Muhammad sal Allaahu alayhi wa sallam said:
“Race to good deeds before a time and a fitnah (test) comes that will sweep over you like the darkest of the darkest nights.”
Are not the trials apparent all around us?
Look to the Islamic educational scene. Scholars we may or may not know are being singled out by the dozens. Religious knowledge is being taken from us. If you have the chance to attend a halaqah, or an Islamic class, you have to race to it now! It may be that you won’t have another chance.
Fitnah will come to you, and you must survive it with whatever knowledge you hold. It may be that the knowledge you possess will suffice to protect you, and it may be that it will not be enough to avail you. The consequences thereof would be disastrous, and may eventually lead to hellfire. May Allah protect us.
Picture this analogy: In Australia they have sharks that prey near the coastline. To warn bathing humans of impending danger, they have a certain whistle that rings when a shark is sighted. Now imagine if you’re feeling sluggish or you’re playing a game trying to see how long you can hold your breath under the water. You don’t hear the warning sound, and then you raise your head out of the water, and notice that nobody is in it except you. Everyone has made it to shore, they are yelling for you to hurry, but you are ten minutes from the beach. How would you make it? Would you make it? Only Allah knows for sure, but that’s exactly what laziness does to you. It not only renders you unprepared, but also helpless as to the actions you must take in order to survive.
But today is a new day, and by the grace of Allah subhaanahu wa ta’aala you and I can learn to let go of that laziness. We will work with renewed energy, striving to return to the worship of Allah subhaanahu wa ta’aala.
Here are some techniques to use.
Number 1: Yawning Promotes Laziness
Yawning is from the devil. And when it comes to us, we must fight it. Despite what your medical classes are telling you about needing oxygen through yawning, it was your Prophet sal Allaahu alayhi wa sallam who advised on covering the mouth and resisting the yawn, by not letting out any noise. No (loud) “Ahhhsss!”
Number 2: Eating One-Third
The Prophet sal Allaahu alayhi wa sallam taught us to eat using the one-third method. You don’t need much to sustain yourself; a few bites will usually do. If you are going to eat a meal, then one-third is the crucial number. One-third of your stomach should be for food, one-third for water, and one-third for breathing.
Realize that one of the most cunning tricks of Shaytan is urging people to fill their stomachs beyond capacity. How many times have you eaten a huge meal only to feel like taking a nap afterwards? And how many times has this nap dissuaded you from the worship of Allah subhaanahu wa ta’aala?
Number 3: Spend Time with Energetic People
Allah subhaanahu wa ta’aala says,
Be patient with those people who call upon their lord in the mornings and the evenings.
When you see a person going for salah consistently, always in a state of worship and remembrance of Allah subhaanahu wa ta’aala, you say to them, “Hey brother/hey sister, how about we go out for lunch? I’d like to spend time with you.”
Feed from their energy. Alternatively, if lazy people surround you, distance yourself from them, or give them da’wah, encouraging positive action. You want to pick the right people, because we tend to emulate those whom we befriend.
Do as your Prophet did and constantly seek refuge from Allah from the laziness that Shaytan uses to defeat the Muslims. When you find yourself reaching for that snooze button, a.k.a ‘the Shaytan button’, remember the ploy against you and seek Allah’s help to resist. You will have the strength to wake up for Fajr. Ultimately, laziness is a state of mind.
In conclusion, the one concept that ties this all together is honesty. Being honest about your laziness and sincerely striving to change is the first step in seeing results. The fact of the matter is that when Allah commands us to do something, it is not possible to have excuses, and know that tasks put upon you are doable, for Allah does not place a burden on a person more than they can bear.
You can do it, others have done it before you, and others continue to do it. Join the ranks of the energetic.
Ka’b ibn Malik radi Allahu anhu, went to the Prophet sal Allaahu alayhi wa sallam after the Battle of Tabuk, and the hypocrites had been making excuses for their absence from the fighting. Ka’b had not participated in the battle and he thought that he too might come up with some excuse in order to save himself, but he realized that he could not lie to the Prophet of Allah. He told the Prophet sal Allaahu alayhi wa sallam, “I have never had more energy or ability than this time, but I just didn’t go.”
And the prophet said, He is the one who is truthful.
And by the potency of his honesty and sincerity, the Qur’an mentions that Allah had forgiven Ka’b.
How do you truthfully word the reasons for your laziness? If the Fajr prayer has passed you by and the devil has urinated in your ears, do not place blame where blame is not due. Don’t make excuses like, “I had a long night.” Instead, say, “The truth is that the accumulation of my sins led me to miss Fajr. But this is not who I am. I am the slave of Allah. Oh Allah, tomorrow, with your permission, I will show you what I am going to do for your sake.” And so you make your repentance, you repeat your good intentions, and you continue until you reach those higher levels of energy.
I ask Allah subhaanahu wa ta’aala to bless you with that energy and I pray and hope that you can make the same du’a for me.
‘Abdullaah ibn Mas’ood, radi Allaahu anhu narrates: A man came and said to the Prophet sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam, “Oh Messenger of Allah, verily a person slept last night until the morning, until the dawn came and he missed Fajr.”
The Prophet sal Allaahu alayhi wa sallam replied, “This is a person whom the devil has urinated in his ears.”
Dear brothers and sisters, try going to any books of hadith and in each and every one you will find a chapter entitled Baab al-Isti’aadhah Minal Kasl. Translated, this chapter is called: ‘Chapter of Seeking Allah’s Protection from Laziness.’
Kasl, or laziness, also known as procrastination, is a disease. University students know what procrastination can do to their studies. It is a disease that afflicts the minds, after the mind, it then afflicts the heart, and finally, through the heart, the body is afflicted.
Today, you will learn that laziness is a technique used by Satan, and today you will learn the techniques you can use to combat it.
The Prophet sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam frequently made the following supplication:
“Oh Allah, I seek your protection from, alajz” – which means the inability to do something. And when someone said, “I can’t do that,” The Prophet sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam would seek protection from such negative speech by adding: “and I seek your protection (Oh Allah) from alkasl”- which is translated as laziness.
At its core this society is built on laziness. Consider that it is a society based on the idea that we have to rest on Sundays. “Why do you have to rest on Sundays?” some may ask, and society (may Allah protect us from this) would answer that even Allah got lazy on Sunday. He did His work all week long; He built the heavens and the earth, and then on Sunday He got tired and rested. So, may Allah protect us. Contemporary culture has us resting and watching football games on Sundays.
Allah subhaanahu wa ta’aala testifies to the lunacy of such an idea, implicitly stating that
…there is no drowsiness and no sleep that comes to Him (Al-Baqarah 2/255).
In addition, we live in a society that lives for ‘fast and easy’. You have the fast food joints, even the microwave meals that take 5 minutes are considered tedious because you have to take it out after a couple of minutes and stir it before it is finished cooking. Ever hear the promises to have the perfect body in ten minutes for only three days a week? Examples abound. And in its quest for ‘fast and easy’, society does not realize that the root of its problems, indeed, the root of all major sins, lies in laziness.
Why would a person take alcohol and drugs? They are too lazy to change their situation. Instead of actively striving for change, they take a drug to immediately change it. Why do people practice black magic, a phenomenon that is, unfortunately, prevalent in many of our parent’s societies? They do it because they are too lazy to go out and get married, or they’re too lazy to influence people in ways that will accomplish their various goals. Why do people partake in riba’ (mortgages as an example) and deal with financial interest? They are too lazy to get a proper job and work to pay for something honestly. Why do people gamble? They addictively buy lottery tickets at ridiculous odds of winning in the hopes that their one dollar will instantly earn millions. Laziness is again the culprit. Why do people backbite? People backbite because they are too lazy to go and tell the person the truth. And these, dear brothers and sisters, are all major sins.
Thus, like a poison, laziness corrupts all good things.
There are beautiful and amazing things that you want to do for yourself, or do for Allah subhaahanu wa ta’aala. Your intention is good, but if you don’t have the energy, or you suffer from the laziness plight, your desires will go nowhere; they will bear no fruit.
The causes of this disease, called laziness, are rooted in the heart.
Firstly, a lazy person doesn’t know and doesn’t understand his or her need to accumulate good deeds. We understand the need to accumulate money, but we may not understand why or how to accumulate good deeds. Very few people understand that this life is about collecting deeds and preparing for the journey of the hereafter.
Allah subhaanahu wa ta’aala advises,
…to prepare your provisions (for the journey to the hereafter) and the best provision is taqwa (fear/piety) of Allah subhaanahu wa ta’aala (Al-Baqarah 2/197).
Secondly, people are discouraged by the thought that others will consider them ‘holier than thou.’ Or perhaps the problem is that some people think too highly of themselves, glorifying themselves to such a high level that when they hear the commandments of Allah subhaanahu wa ta’aala they reply by justifying their laziness with excuses like, “My heart is clean,” or “Why do I have to do that,” or “I’m a good person.” Allah subhaanahu wa ta’aala states:
Do not claim piety to yourselves (An-Najm 53/32).
If someone says, “I’m good,” the response should be, “Allah knows best who is true, who is righteous.”
Indeed, those who suffer from laziness don’t understand the gold mine of opportunity awaiting them. There are thousands of people around you waiting to hear the call of Islam. You are living among sponges ready to listen to you say, “I am a Muslim.” And they are going to ask, “How can I become one too?”
A brother I knew overseas said it perfectly: “The North Americans have such enormous prospects. Imagine teaching a new Muslim Surah al-Fatiha, or how to pray. You will get the reward for this most noble lesson each time the person recites this surah. You can’t do that in Muslim countries, although there are other different opportunities there, most people don’t recognize them and this leads to laziness.”
Know that this concerns you, and if you start demonstrating the energy and zeal it takes to worship Allah to the best of your ability, then you will be the one to benefit.
This is your life; this is your soul. You are only going to live once on this earth, and you’ll be traveling to the hereafter with a suitcase of good deeds. Hopefully, you won’t be traveling light. The one who understands this early on, the one to get on the bandwagon of the worship of Allah subhaanahu wa ta’aala early on, accumulates everything.
Be a pioneer; bring Islam to everyone.
And so they come on the day of resurrection and they see mountains of good deeds that they never imagined they would have had and it will be said to them this is because you weren’t lazy when other people were lazy.
Recognize the opportunity, seize it, and kick start the worship of Allah subhaanahu wa ta’aala by others.
But if you choose not to heed these words, to yawn, and to be lazy, you are turning your back on the words of Allah subhaanahu wa ta’aala. And the consequences will be grave, for the sunnah of creation, indeed the law of nature, stipulates that that which does not contribute will be destroyed. What do you do with weeds in your garden? You pull them out, you get rid of them. What do you do when your nails get too long, when there is no purpose to their length? You snip them off, discard them in the trash. And so it is, as a community and as individuals in that community, if we are not contributing, and if we are not energetically producing, we will be deemed useless and we will be eliminated.
Allah subhaanahu wa ta’aala says:
In this way, He gives forth the parable of the truth and falsehood and the vanity. Vanity is like the foam, the dirt on the ocean (there is no benefit to it). But the things that do bring benefit (those devoid of laziness) will remain steadfast in the land (Ar-Ra’d 13/17).
Even after you are gone, your good deeds will continue to benefit.
Do not make the mistake of thinking that Allah pays attention to the lazy one’s worship. Prophet Muhammad sal Allaahu alayhi wa sallam said:
“Do those deeds that you are able to perform, for verily, Allah will not tire of your ‘ibadah (worship) until you tire.”
Ponder the phenomenon of those who make du’a absentmindedly, not knowing what it is that they are saying. They may even be yawning, confused, or focused on something else entirely. Allah is not paying attention to that person just like they are not paying attention to their du’a. That is a du’a that is not answered by Allah subhaanahu wa ta’aala. A du’a that is answered is the one where the person’s heart and energy are invested in it. Allah will listen. If you can consistently take your du’a to that level, you’ll see dramatic changes in your life.
When I was younger, there was an imam from overseas who came to lead the taraweeh prayers in Ramadan. We would have to pick him up at Fajr time and drive him to the masjid. One early morning, I was feeling particularly tired and lazy. My parents had an especially hard time waking me up. Yet, when we arrived at the Imam’s house, I noticed that the neighbors were in the midst of an all-night party. It was 5 am and their lights were blaring, their music was booming, and the party-goers were still drinking their alcohol. They’d spent the entire night awake in qiyaamul layl, but not to Allah subhaanahu wa ta’aala. Their worship was for the devil.
I remember thinking to myself that this disbeliever has the stamina and energy to waste the night away, how can the servant of Allah subhaanahu wa ta’aala not have the energy and ability to worship Him? After all, they too are humans like us. ‘Umar ibn al-Khattab radi Allaahu anhu is quoted as saying, “I seek Allah’s protection from the time when the fasiq or disobedient will have much energy and enthusiasm and the righteous will be lazy.” The fasiq will open up bars everywhere and run his houses of immorality with vigor. And the righteous will do little to nothing in the sake of Allah. When this happens, there is an imbalance on earth, and corruption will be widespread and prevalent.
Brothers and sisters, let me tell you about the blessedness of having energy and enthusiasm in worshipping Allah and what it will do for you.
Number 1: The extra energy will win you the pleasure of Allah subhaanahu wa ta’aala.
Musa alayhis salaam was told to come to the mountain for 40 days. And come he did, not walking slowly, not ten minutes late, but running. In explaining his arrival, Musa said,
I came hastily to you, oh Allah, so that you will be pleased with me (Taha 20/84).
And indeed, his words were so pleasing to his creator that Allah recorded them in the Qur’an for all eternity.
When you hear a name of a prophet’s companion, you say, “May Allah be pleased with him.” Well, this is how you get that same distinction for yourself. Be hasty in your desire and actions that lead to goodness.
Number 2: Having energy is the characteristic of the believer. Being lazy is the characteristic of the hypocrite.
Allah subhaanahu wa ta’aala says the munafiq, or hypocrite is he who has disbelief in his heart, while outwardly claiming belief. Allah subhaanahu wa ta’aala describes them in the following verse:
If they get up for the salah (prayer), they get up with laziness (An-Nisaa’ 4/142).
“Give me ten more minutes…give me ten more minutes… oh! I missed Fajr…oh no. I’ll pray after Fajr. Give me ten more minutes…give me ten more minutes…”
A characteristic of hypocrisy is when they reach for that snooze button and get up lazily for prayer. In this moment they’re experiencing a state of nifaq or hypocrisy. May Allah protect us.
May He also protect us from using excuses to not follow through with our deeds.
A Canadian may say it’s too cold; an African will say it’s too hot. Both are making excuses for not doing good actions. It was summer in the desert during the time of the Battle of Tabuk, and there was a walking distance of what is today a seven-hour car trip from Madinah to Tabuk. The Prophet sal Allaahu alayhi wa sallam was rallying his troops for an exhaustive trek that, back then, would have taken months.
Allah subhaanahu wa ta’aala says,
…they (the hypocrites) encouraged people not to go with the Prophet sal Allaahu alayhi wa sallam by saying, “Do not go out in the heat.” Allah subhaanahu wa ta’aala’s response was to tell them, “The fire of hell is much hotter; if only they understood” (At-Tauba 9/81).
Ibn al-Jawzee, may Allah have mercy on his soul, said, “I have never seen a flaw sadder to me than a community whose people stop working, despite having the ability to continue.”
The ramifications of laziness can be very harmful. Some of you may have come across a person who displays a genuine interest in Islam. That person may be about to take the shahada when Shaytan gets to him and her. An excuse the devil uses is, “You have to comprehend the Qur’an first.” Hence the would-be Muslim is convinced that they do love Islam, but perhaps further study is required. And so it is that he or she delays coming back to Allah subhaanahu wa ta’aala, and as time passes they may no longer possess the same enthusiasm.
Similarly, Muslims seeking to make repentance to Allah subhaanahu wa ta’aala might give themselves time by saying, “Let me wait till I pay off my mortgage (or pay off my student loans. Let me wait till I do this, let me wait till I do that) then I will repent to Allah.” But it doesn’t work like that because as time passes and sins grow, the heart consistently gets weaker and weaker. A time will come when the person knows it’s the last chance, but the heart may have already been sealed shut.
And as Prophet Muhammad sal Allaahu alayhi wa sallam said:
“Race to good deeds before a time and a fitnah (test) comes that will sweep over you like the darkest of the darkest nights.”
Are not the trials apparent all around us?
Look to the Islamic educational scene. Scholars we may or may not know are being singled out by the dozens. Religious knowledge is being taken from us. If you have the chance to attend a halaqah, or an Islamic class, you have to race to it now! It may be that you won’t have another chance.
Fitnah will come to you, and you must survive it with whatever knowledge you hold. It may be that the knowledge you possess will suffice to protect you, and it may be that it will not be enough to avail you. The consequences thereof would be disastrous, and may eventually lead to hellfire. May Allah protect us.
Picture this analogy: In Australia they have sharks that prey near the coastline. To warn bathing humans of impending danger, they have a certain whistle that rings when a shark is sighted. Now imagine if you’re feeling sluggish or you’re playing a game trying to see how long you can hold your breath under the water. You don’t hear the warning sound, and then you raise your head out of the water, and notice that nobody is in it except you. Everyone has made it to shore, they are yelling for you to hurry, but you are ten minutes from the beach. How would you make it? Would you make it? Only Allah knows for sure, but that’s exactly what laziness does to you. It not only renders you unprepared, but also helpless as to the actions you must take in order to survive.
But today is a new day, and by the grace of Allah subhaanahu wa ta’aala you and I can learn to let go of that laziness. We will work with renewed energy, striving to return to the worship of Allah subhaanahu wa ta’aala.
Here are some techniques to use.
Number 1: Yawning Promotes Laziness
Yawning is from the devil. And when it comes to us, we must fight it. Despite what your medical classes are telling you about needing oxygen through yawning, it was your Prophet sal Allaahu alayhi wa sallam who advised on covering the mouth and resisting the yawn, by not letting out any noise. No (loud) “Ahhhsss!”
Number 2: Eating One-Third
The Prophet sal Allaahu alayhi wa sallam taught us to eat using the one-third method. You don’t need much to sustain yourself; a few bites will usually do. If you are going to eat a meal, then one-third is the crucial number. One-third of your stomach should be for food, one-third for water, and one-third for breathing.
Realize that one of the most cunning tricks of Shaytan is urging people to fill their stomachs beyond capacity. How many times have you eaten a huge meal only to feel like taking a nap afterwards? And how many times has this nap dissuaded you from the worship of Allah subhaanahu wa ta’aala?
Number 3: Spend Time with Energetic People
Allah subhaanahu wa ta’aala says,
Be patient with those people who call upon their lord in the mornings and the evenings.
When you see a person going for salah consistently, always in a state of worship and remembrance of Allah subhaanahu wa ta’aala, you say to them, “Hey brother/hey sister, how about we go out for lunch? I’d like to spend time with you.”
Feed from their energy. Alternatively, if lazy people surround you, distance yourself from them, or give them da’wah, encouraging positive action. You want to pick the right people, because we tend to emulate those whom we befriend.
Do as your Prophet did and constantly seek refuge from Allah from the laziness that Shaytan uses to defeat the Muslims. When you find yourself reaching for that snooze button, a.k.a ‘the Shaytan button’, remember the ploy against you and seek Allah’s help to resist. You will have the strength to wake up for Fajr. Ultimately, laziness is a state of mind.
In conclusion, the one concept that ties this all together is honesty. Being honest about your laziness and sincerely striving to change is the first step in seeing results. The fact of the matter is that when Allah commands us to do something, it is not possible to have excuses, and know that tasks put upon you are doable, for Allah does not place a burden on a person more than they can bear.
You can do it, others have done it before you, and others continue to do it. Join the ranks of the energetic.
Ka’b ibn Malik radi Allahu anhu, went to the Prophet sal Allaahu alayhi wa sallam after the Battle of Tabuk, and the hypocrites had been making excuses for their absence from the fighting. Ka’b had not participated in the battle and he thought that he too might come up with some excuse in order to save himself, but he realized that he could not lie to the Prophet of Allah. He told the Prophet sal Allaahu alayhi wa sallam, “I have never had more energy or ability than this time, but I just didn’t go.”
And the prophet said, He is the one who is truthful.
And by the potency of his honesty and sincerity, the Qur’an mentions that Allah had forgiven Ka’b.
How do you truthfully word the reasons for your laziness? If the Fajr prayer has passed you by and the devil has urinated in your ears, do not place blame where blame is not due. Don’t make excuses like, “I had a long night.” Instead, say, “The truth is that the accumulation of my sins led me to miss Fajr. But this is not who I am. I am the slave of Allah. Oh Allah, tomorrow, with your permission, I will show you what I am going to do for your sake.” And so you make your repentance, you repeat your good intentions, and you continue until you reach those higher levels of energy.
I ask Allah subhaanahu wa ta’aala to bless you with that energy and I pray and hope that you can make the same du’a for me.
30 Beautiful Hadiths and Quranic Verses on The Etiquettes of Speech !
30 Beautiful Hadiths and Quranic Verses on The
Etiquettes of Speech !
1. “And when the foolish address them (with bad words) they reply back with ‘Salamaa’ (peaceful words of gentleness).” (Qur’an, 25:63)
2. “If they pass by some vain speech or play, they pass by it with dignity.” (Qur’an, 25:72)
3. “And be moderate in your pace and lower your voice; indeed, the most disagreeable of sounds is the voice of donkeys… But of the people is he who disputes about Allah without knowledge or guidance or an enlightening Book.” (Qur’an, 31:19-20)
4. The Prophet Muhammad ﷺ (peace be upon him) said: “He who gave up disputing while he is right, a palace of high rank in Paradise will be built for him. He who gave up disputing while he is a fabricator, a palace in the center of Paradise will be built for him.” (al-Tirmidhi who declared it as hasan)
5. “There are no people who went astray after having been guided except for indulging in disputation.” (al-Tirmidhi)
6. The Messenger of Allah ﷺ repeated three times, “Those who search deeply for confusing questions have perished.” (Muslim)
7. “Do not dispute with your brother, ridicule him, nor promise him and then break your promise.” (al-Tirmidhi)
8. Bilal ibn Sa’d radiAllahu `anhu (ra) said, “If you see a disputing, arrogant, and bigoted person, bear in mind that they are utterly lost.”
9. Luqman `alayhi assalam (as) said to his son, “O son! Do not dispute with the knowledgeable lest they detest you.”
10. `Umar (ra) said, “Do not learn knowledge for three things and do not leave it for three things. Do not learn it to dispute over it, to show off with it, or to boast about it. Do not leave seeking it out of shyness, dislike for it, or contending with ignorance in its stead.”
11. It was narrated that Abu Hanifa said to Dawud al-Taa’i, “Why do you prefer seclusion?” Dawud replied, “To struggle against myself to leave disputing.” Abu Hanifah said, “Attend meetings, listen to what is said, and remain silent.” Dawud said, “I have done so, but I have found nothing heavier than this.”
12. `A’ishah (ra) narrated that the Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said, “The most hated person with Allah is the most quarrelsome person.” (al-Bukhari)
13. Ibn Qutaybah said that his disputant said to him, “What is the matter with you?” He replied to him, “I will not dispute with you.” The disputant then said, “Thus you have come to know that I am right.” Ibn Qutaybah responded, “No, but I respect myself more than that.” At this the disputant retracted and said, “And I will not claim a thing that is not my right.”
14. The Messenger of Allah ﷺ said: “The one initiating abuse incurs the sin of abusing as long as the other did not return it.” (Muslim)
15. “The believer does not curse.” (al-Tirmidhi who declared it hasan)
16. “The believer does not defame, abuse, disparage, nor vilify.” (al-Tirmidhi, sahih)
17. “Do not invoke Allah’s curse, His anger, or Hellfire.” (al-Tirmidhi who declared it hasan sahih)
18. “Men accustomed to cursing will not be intercessors or witnesses on the Day of Resurrection.” (Muslim)
19. Abdullah ibn ‘Amr (ra) narrated, “I asked the Messenger of Allah ﷺ about what saves me from Allah’s wrath, and he said, “Do not become angry.” (al-Tabarani and Ibn Abdul Barr) Ibn `Umar, Ibn Mas’ud, and Abu Darda’ (ra) relate similar conversations on their own behalf.
20. The Messenger of Allah ﷺ said, “He who is victorious over his passion at the time of anger is the strongest among you. He who forgives having the power to release (his anger and take revenge) is the most patient among you.” (a-Baihaqi in Shu’ab al-Imaan)
21. Abu Hurairah (ra) narrated, “The Messenger of Allah ﷺ said, ‘The strong person is not he who has physical strength but the person is strong if he can control his anger.” (al-Bukhari and Muslim)
22. `Umar ibn Abdul Aziz wrote to one of his governors and said, “Do not punish at the time of anger. If you are angry with any man, keep him in detention. When your anger is appeased punish him in proportion to his crime.”
23. ‘Ali ibn Zaid mentioned, “A man of the Quraysh spoke harshly to the Caliph `Umar Ibn ‘Abdul ‘Aziz who remained silent for a long time and then said, “You wish that the devil rouses in me the pride of the Caliphate and I treat you so rudely that you can take revenge tomorrow (in the Afterlife) on me.”
24. Ibn ‘Abbas (ra) narrated, the Messenger of Allah ﷺ said, “And when you get angry, keep silent.” (Ahmad, Ibn Abi Dunya, al-Tabarani, and al-Bayhaqi)
25. The Messenger of Allah ﷺ said, “Anger is a burning coal. It burns in the heart.” (al-Tirmidhi and al-Bayhaqi)
26. “When anyone of you gets angry, let him perform ablution because anger arises from fire.” (Abu Dawud)
27. “Nobody swallows a more bitter pill than that of anger—seeking the satisfaction of Allah.” (Ibn Majah)
28. `Umar (ra) said, “He who fears Allah cannot give an outlet to his anger (by sinning). He who fears Allah cannot do what he likes.”
29. A nomad said to the Messenger of Allah ﷺ “Advise me.” And he ﷺ said, “If a man defamed you with what he knows about you, do not defame him with what you know about him. For the sin is against him.” The nomad said, “I never abused any person after that.”
30. Al-Hasan (ra) said, “He that did not safeguard his tongue did not understand his religion.”
You thought it was over didn’t you? Here is a little something extra to encourage us not only to avoid such negative traits, but to also proactively seek positive ones in their place.
10 Reasons to Strive for Generosity of Spirit and Kindness in Speech
1. The Messenger of Allah ﷺ said, “Kind speech and feeding (the hungry) guarantee you Paradise.” (al-Tabarani)
2. “And speak nicely to people.” (Qur’an, 2:83)
3. “When you are greeted with a greeting, greet in return with what is better than it, or (at least) return it equally.” (Qur’an, 4:86) Ibn Abbas commented on this and said, “He who greets you return his greeting in better words even if he were a Magian.1 He also said, “If Pharoah were to speak nicely to me, I would do so to him.”
4. Anas (ra) narrated that the Messenger of Allah ﷺ said, “Verily there are chambers in Paradise; their insides and outsides can be seen – for him who spoke kindly and fed (the hungry).” (al-Tirmidhi)
5. He ﷺ also said, “A good word is also a charitable deed.” (Muslim)
6. “Ward off the Fire even if by giving half a date in charity. If you could not afford that then utter a kind word.” (al-Bukhari and Muslim)
7. `Umar (ra) said, “Generosity is an easy thing. It is a smiling face and kind words.”
8. Some wise men said, “Do not be stingy with a word that does not arouse your Lord’s wrath yet it pleases your brother. It may happen that Allah gives you the reward of those who do good works.”
9. “And let not those among you who are blessed with graces and wealth swear not to give to their kinsmen, the poor, and those who left their homes for Allah’s cause. Let them pardon and forgive. Do you not wish that Allah should forgive you?” (Qur’an, 24:22). Abu Bakr (ra) had cut off his financial support of his relative Mustah because Mustah had participated in the slander against his daughter `A’ishah (ra). After this verse was revealed, he resumed and even increased the amount he gave Mustah in financial support.
10. “Show forgiveness, enjoin what is good, and turn away from the foolish.” (Qur’an, 7:199
Etiquettes of Speech !
1. “And when the foolish address them (with bad words) they reply back with ‘Salamaa’ (peaceful words of gentleness).” (Qur’an, 25:63)
2. “If they pass by some vain speech or play, they pass by it with dignity.” (Qur’an, 25:72)
3. “And be moderate in your pace and lower your voice; indeed, the most disagreeable of sounds is the voice of donkeys… But of the people is he who disputes about Allah without knowledge or guidance or an enlightening Book.” (Qur’an, 31:19-20)
4. The Prophet Muhammad ﷺ (peace be upon him) said: “He who gave up disputing while he is right, a palace of high rank in Paradise will be built for him. He who gave up disputing while he is a fabricator, a palace in the center of Paradise will be built for him.” (al-Tirmidhi who declared it as hasan)
5. “There are no people who went astray after having been guided except for indulging in disputation.” (al-Tirmidhi)
6. The Messenger of Allah ﷺ repeated three times, “Those who search deeply for confusing questions have perished.” (Muslim)
7. “Do not dispute with your brother, ridicule him, nor promise him and then break your promise.” (al-Tirmidhi)
8. Bilal ibn Sa’d radiAllahu `anhu (ra) said, “If you see a disputing, arrogant, and bigoted person, bear in mind that they are utterly lost.”
9. Luqman `alayhi assalam (as) said to his son, “O son! Do not dispute with the knowledgeable lest they detest you.”
10. `Umar (ra) said, “Do not learn knowledge for three things and do not leave it for three things. Do not learn it to dispute over it, to show off with it, or to boast about it. Do not leave seeking it out of shyness, dislike for it, or contending with ignorance in its stead.”
11. It was narrated that Abu Hanifa said to Dawud al-Taa’i, “Why do you prefer seclusion?” Dawud replied, “To struggle against myself to leave disputing.” Abu Hanifah said, “Attend meetings, listen to what is said, and remain silent.” Dawud said, “I have done so, but I have found nothing heavier than this.”
12. `A’ishah (ra) narrated that the Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said, “The most hated person with Allah is the most quarrelsome person.” (al-Bukhari)
13. Ibn Qutaybah said that his disputant said to him, “What is the matter with you?” He replied to him, “I will not dispute with you.” The disputant then said, “Thus you have come to know that I am right.” Ibn Qutaybah responded, “No, but I respect myself more than that.” At this the disputant retracted and said, “And I will not claim a thing that is not my right.”
14. The Messenger of Allah ﷺ said: “The one initiating abuse incurs the sin of abusing as long as the other did not return it.” (Muslim)
15. “The believer does not curse.” (al-Tirmidhi who declared it hasan)
16. “The believer does not defame, abuse, disparage, nor vilify.” (al-Tirmidhi, sahih)
17. “Do not invoke Allah’s curse, His anger, or Hellfire.” (al-Tirmidhi who declared it hasan sahih)
18. “Men accustomed to cursing will not be intercessors or witnesses on the Day of Resurrection.” (Muslim)
19. Abdullah ibn ‘Amr (ra) narrated, “I asked the Messenger of Allah ﷺ about what saves me from Allah’s wrath, and he said, “Do not become angry.” (al-Tabarani and Ibn Abdul Barr) Ibn `Umar, Ibn Mas’ud, and Abu Darda’ (ra) relate similar conversations on their own behalf.
20. The Messenger of Allah ﷺ said, “He who is victorious over his passion at the time of anger is the strongest among you. He who forgives having the power to release (his anger and take revenge) is the most patient among you.” (a-Baihaqi in Shu’ab al-Imaan)
21. Abu Hurairah (ra) narrated, “The Messenger of Allah ﷺ said, ‘The strong person is not he who has physical strength but the person is strong if he can control his anger.” (al-Bukhari and Muslim)
22. `Umar ibn Abdul Aziz wrote to one of his governors and said, “Do not punish at the time of anger. If you are angry with any man, keep him in detention. When your anger is appeased punish him in proportion to his crime.”
23. ‘Ali ibn Zaid mentioned, “A man of the Quraysh spoke harshly to the Caliph `Umar Ibn ‘Abdul ‘Aziz who remained silent for a long time and then said, “You wish that the devil rouses in me the pride of the Caliphate and I treat you so rudely that you can take revenge tomorrow (in the Afterlife) on me.”
24. Ibn ‘Abbas (ra) narrated, the Messenger of Allah ﷺ said, “And when you get angry, keep silent.” (Ahmad, Ibn Abi Dunya, al-Tabarani, and al-Bayhaqi)
25. The Messenger of Allah ﷺ said, “Anger is a burning coal. It burns in the heart.” (al-Tirmidhi and al-Bayhaqi)
26. “When anyone of you gets angry, let him perform ablution because anger arises from fire.” (Abu Dawud)
27. “Nobody swallows a more bitter pill than that of anger—seeking the satisfaction of Allah.” (Ibn Majah)
28. `Umar (ra) said, “He who fears Allah cannot give an outlet to his anger (by sinning). He who fears Allah cannot do what he likes.”
29. A nomad said to the Messenger of Allah ﷺ “Advise me.” And he ﷺ said, “If a man defamed you with what he knows about you, do not defame him with what you know about him. For the sin is against him.” The nomad said, “I never abused any person after that.”
30. Al-Hasan (ra) said, “He that did not safeguard his tongue did not understand his religion.”
You thought it was over didn’t you? Here is a little something extra to encourage us not only to avoid such negative traits, but to also proactively seek positive ones in their place.
10 Reasons to Strive for Generosity of Spirit and Kindness in Speech
1. The Messenger of Allah ﷺ said, “Kind speech and feeding (the hungry) guarantee you Paradise.” (al-Tabarani)
2. “And speak nicely to people.” (Qur’an, 2:83)
3. “When you are greeted with a greeting, greet in return with what is better than it, or (at least) return it equally.” (Qur’an, 4:86) Ibn Abbas commented on this and said, “He who greets you return his greeting in better words even if he were a Magian.1 He also said, “If Pharoah were to speak nicely to me, I would do so to him.”
4. Anas (ra) narrated that the Messenger of Allah ﷺ said, “Verily there are chambers in Paradise; their insides and outsides can be seen – for him who spoke kindly and fed (the hungry).” (al-Tirmidhi)
5. He ﷺ also said, “A good word is also a charitable deed.” (Muslim)
6. “Ward off the Fire even if by giving half a date in charity. If you could not afford that then utter a kind word.” (al-Bukhari and Muslim)
7. `Umar (ra) said, “Generosity is an easy thing. It is a smiling face and kind words.”
8. Some wise men said, “Do not be stingy with a word that does not arouse your Lord’s wrath yet it pleases your brother. It may happen that Allah gives you the reward of those who do good works.”
9. “And let not those among you who are blessed with graces and wealth swear not to give to their kinsmen, the poor, and those who left their homes for Allah’s cause. Let them pardon and forgive. Do you not wish that Allah should forgive you?” (Qur’an, 24:22). Abu Bakr (ra) had cut off his financial support of his relative Mustah because Mustah had participated in the slander against his daughter `A’ishah (ra). After this verse was revealed, he resumed and even increased the amount he gave Mustah in financial support.
10. “Show forgiveness, enjoin what is good, and turn away from the foolish.” (Qur’an, 7:199
Mother’s Day – an historical overview and the scholars’ rulings on this holiday
In The name of Allah,The Most Merciful,The Most gracious
Mother’s Day – an historical overview and the scholars’ rulings on this holiday
Introduction:
The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) told us that his ummah would follow the previous nations, the Jews, Christians and Persians, but this was undoubtedly not praise for their actions, rather it is by way of condemnation and a warning. It was narrated from Abu Sa’eed (may Allaah be pleased with him) that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said:
“You will certainly follow the ways of those who came before you, handspan by handspan, cubit by cubit, until even if they entered the hole of a lizard, you will do so too.” We asked, “O Messenger of Allaah, (do you mean) the Jews and the Christians?” He said, “Who else?” (Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 3269; Muslim, 2669).
It was narrated from Abu Hurayrah (may Allaah be pleased with him) that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said:
“The Hour will not begin until my ummah follows in the footsteps of those who came before it, handspan by handspan, cubit by cubit.” It was asked, “O Messenger of Allaah, like the Persians and Romans?” He said, “Those are the people?” (Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 6888)
The ignorant among this ummah, and the innovators and heretics have followed the previous nations, the Jews, Christians and Persians, in their beliefs, ways, manners and dress. Our concern here is to point out in these days their following and imitation of them through the innovation of “Mother’s Day” or “Family Day”, which is a day that the Christians innovated to honour mothers, or so they claim. This then became a day that was venerated, when government departments would be shut and people would get in touch with their mothers or send them gifts and loving messages. But when the day was over, things would go back to the way they were, with people being cut off from their mothers and disobeying them.
What is strange is that the Muslims would feel a need to imitate them in such ways, when Allaah has commanded them to honour their mothers and has forbidden them to disobey them, and has made the reward for that (for obeying them) the highest status.
Definition of the word ‘Eid
[as Mother’s Day is known in Arabic as “Eid al-umm” or “mothers’ festival”; the word Eid is derive from the root ‘aada/ya’ood meaning to come back or return]
Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyah said:
“Eid (festival) is a name that is given to an occasion which returns, when people gather in a festive manner, whether that is annual or weekly or monthly and so on.”
(Iqtidaa’ al-Siraat al-Mustaqeem, 1/441).
Ibn ‘Aabideen (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: “ An ‘Eid is so called because Allaah repeatedly bestows blessings, i.e., kinds of blessings that come back to His slaves on these days, such as breaking the fast after refraining from eating, sadaqat al-fitr (obligatory charity paid at the end of Ramadaan), completing the Hajj by doing Tawaaf al-Ziyaarah, the sacrificial meats, and so on; and because the tradition on such occasions is to express joy and happiness, and to be energetic and happy.”
(Haashiyat Ibn ‘Aabideen, 2/165)
How many festivals are there in Islam?
The Muslim may note the large number of festivals that are observed among the Muslims nowadays, such as the Festival of Trees, Workers’ Day (May Day), the anniversary of the king’s accession to the throne, birthdays, etc… There is a long list of such days, but each of these is the innovation of the Jews, Christians and polytheists; they have no basis in Islam. There are no festivals in Islam apart from Eid al-Adha and Eid al-Fitr.
It was narrated that Anas ibn Maalik said: “During the Jaahiliyyah, the people had two days each year when they would play. When the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) came to Madeenah he said, ‘You had two days on which you would play, but Allaah has given you something better than them: the day of al-Fitr and the day of al-Adha.” (Narrated by Abu Dawood, 1134; al-Nasaa’i, 1556; classed as saheeh by Shaykh al-Albaani).
Honouring one’s mother
Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“Worship Allaah and join none with Him (in worship); and do good to parents, kinsfolk, orphans, Al-Masaakeen (the poor), the neighbour who is near of kin, the neighbour who is a stranger, the companion by your side, the wayfarer (you meet), and those (slaves) whom your right hands possess. Verily, Allaah does not like such as are proud and boastful”
[al-Nisa’ 4:36]
And Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“And your Lord has decreed that you worship none but Him. And that you be dutiful to your parents. If one of them or both of them attain old age in your life, say not to them a word of disrespect, nor shout at them but address them in terms of honour”
[al-Isra’ 17:23]
It was narrated that Abu Hurayrah (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: “A man came to the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) and said: ‘O Messenger of Allaah, who among the people is most deserving of my good company?’ He said, ‘Your mother.’ He asked, ‘Then who?’ He said, ‘Your mother.’ He asked, ‘Then who?’ He said, ‘Your mother.’ He asked, ‘Then who?’ He said, ‘Then your father.’”
(Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 5626; Muslim, 2548)
Al- Haafiz ibn Hajar said:
“Ibn Battaal said: what this means is that the mother should be honoured three times more than the father. He said, that is because of the difficulties of pregnancy, then giving birth, then breastfeeding. These are hardships that are experienced only by the mother, then the father shares with her in raising the child. This is also referred to in the aayah (interpretation of the meaning):
‘And We have enjoined on man (to be dutiful and good) to his parents. His mother bore him in weakness and hardship upon weakness and hardship, and his weaning is in two years’ [Luqmaan 31:14]
So the recommendation to be dutiful and good refers to both parents, but the mother’s share is greater because of the three things mentioned above. Al-Qurtubi said: what is meant is that the mother deserves a greater share of her child’s honour, and her rights take precedence over those of the father in cases where a choice must be made. ‘Iyaad said: the majority of scholars were of the view that the mother takes precedence over the father in terms of honouring one’s parents. And it was said that both must be honoured equally, and this was narrated by some from Maalik, but the former view is the one which is correct.”
(Fath al-Baari, 10/402).
Indeed, even if one’s mother is a mushrikah (polytheist), the wise and pure sharee’ah of Islam encourages one to uphold ties of kinship with her:
It was narrated that Asma’ bint Abi Bakr (may Allaah be pleased with them both) said: “My mother came to visit me at the time of the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) and she was a mushrikah. I consulted the Messenger of Allaah(peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him), saying, ‘My mother has come to visit me for some purpose, should I uphold ties of kinship with my mother?’ He said, ‘Yes, uphold ties of kinship with your mother.’”
(Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 2477)
Mothers in kaafir countries
Those who study the situation of families in general and of mothers in particular in the non-Muslim societies will hear and read of strange things. You can hardly find any complete family whose members keep in touch with one another, let alone meeting and conversing or staying together.
As some observers in kaafir countries have said: in the marketplaces or streets you may see a mother and her son or daughter, or a father and his son or daughter, but you will rarely see a whole family going shopping or walking in the streets.
When the father or mother grows old, the best among their children hastens to put them in seniors’ homes. Some Muslims went to some of these homes and asked a dozen of seniors what their greatest wish was. All of them said, “Death!” That is only because each of them is living in misery, grief and regret for the way they have ended up and the way their children have deserted them at the time when they need them most.
Timing of Mother’s Day in different countries
The date of Mother’s Day, and the way in which it is celebrated, differs from one country to another. In Norway it is celebrated on the second Sunday in February. In Argentina it is celebrated on the second Sunday in October. In Lebanon it is on the first day of spring. In South Africa it is celebrated on the first Sunday in May.
In France it is celebrated more as a family festival, on the last Sunday in May, when family members get together for dinner, then they give a cake to the mother.
Sweden also has a holiday for Family Day on the last Sunday of May. A few days before that the Swedish Red Cross sells small plastic roses for people to give to their mothers who will spend the holiday taking care of their children. In Japan this day is celebrated on the second Sunday in May, as in North America, where exhibitions are held of pictures drawn by children aged 6-14; these exhibitions are called “My Mother” This exhibition is moved every four years and has appeared in a number of countries.
Mother’s Day – an historical overview
Some researchers have said:
Some historians have suggested that Mother’s Day started with the ancient Greeks’ celebrations of spring festivals. These festivals were devoted to the mother goddess Rhea, the wife of Cronos, the father god. In ancient Rome there was a similar celebration devoted to the worship or veneration of Sybil, another mother of the gods. This began approximately 250 years before the birth of the Messiah (peace be upon him). These religious celebrations of the Romans were called “Hilaria” and lasted for three days from March 15 to March 18.
Sunday in England
This was a day similar to the modern Mother’s Day celebration, but it was called “Mothering Sunday” or (the Sunday half-way through Lent), because it occurred during their major fasting period (Lent). Some say that the celebrations that were held to worship and honour the Roman goddess Sybil were changed by the church to celebrations meant to honour and venerate Mary (peace be upon her). This custom began with some people encouraging people to visit the central church in their locality, bringing offerings. In 1600 young men and women of simple professions and servants started to visit their mothers on “Mothering Sunday”, bringing gifts and food. This is what happened in England. In the USA it was a different story.
The United States
Anna M. Jarvis (1864-1948):
She had the idea of making Mother’s Day an official holiday in the United States. She never married and she had a very strong relationship with her mother. She was the daughter of a minister and she taught in the Sunday School of Andrew Methodist Church in Grafton, West Virginia. Two years after her mother died, she launched a campaign addressed to bosses, ministers and congressmen, to declare Mother’s Day an official holiday in the country. She felt that children did not appreciate what their mothers had done for them during their lives, and she hoped that this day would strengthen the feelings of children for their mothers and fathers, and strengthen family ties.
The beginning
The church honoured Miss Anna Jarvis in Grafton, West Virginia, and in Philadelphia and Pennsylvania on May 10, 1908. This was the beginning of Mother’s Day in the United States.
Carnations were one of her mother’s favourite flowers, especially white ones, because they were supposed to represent goodness, purity and patience, which are characteristic of a mother’s love. As time went by, red carnations became a symbol that the mother was still alive, and white carnations became a symbol that the mother had passed away.
The first official declaration of Mother’s Day in the United States was in West Virginia and Oklahoma in 1910. In 1911 the entire U.S. celebrated this day. By then these celebrations had also spread to Mexico, Canada, China, Japan, Latin America and Africa. Then the U.S. Congress officially agreed to announce celebrations of Mother’s Day, on May 10, 1913, and the first Sunday in May was chosen as Mother’s Day.
Mother’s Day in the Arab World
The idea of celebrating Mother’s Day in the Arab world began in Egypt, and was started by the two brothers Mustafa and ‘Ali Ameen, the founders of the Akhbaar al-Yawm newspaper. ‘Ali Ameen himself had received a letter from a mother complaining of her children’s meanness and bad treatment towards her, and suffering because of their failure to appreciate her. It so happened that another mother visited Mustafa Ameen in his office and told him her story; briefly, she had been widowed when her children were small, and she had not remarried.
She had devoted her life to her children, playing the role of both father and mother, spending all her energy in taking care of her children, until they left to go to university and get married. Each of them was living an independent life, and they only visited her on rare occasions. Mustafa Ameen and ‘Ali Ameen wrote in their famous column Fikrah (“Idea”) suggesting that a day should be set aside for mothers, to remember their virtues. They pointed out that the west did that, and that Islam enjoined taking care of one’s mother. Many letters were sent to the newspaper, supporting this idea. Some suggested that a whole week should be devoted to mothers, not just one day, and others rejected the idea, saying that every day of the year should be for one’s mother, not just one day.
But most readers agreed with the idea of setting aside one day, and they voted to choose March 21, which is also the first day of spring, to be Mother’s Day and a symbol of open-heartedness, purity and beautiful feelings.
Egypt celebrated Mother’s Day for the first time on March 21, 1956. >From Egypt this idea spread to other Arab countries. At some point some people suggested that Mother’s Day should be called Family Day, so as to honour fathers as well, but this idea was not widely accepted, as people thought that this detracted from the rights of mothers, or they accused the proponents of the Family Day idea of thinking that it was too much to allocate a day just for mothers. Even now the Arab countries still celebrate this day through the various kinds of media and honour the ideal mothers who have gone through immense struggles for their children’s sake at every level.
After knowing that, it comes as no surprise that most of those who celebrate Mother’s Day are the Jews and Christians and those who imitate them, and that they say that this is because of their concern for women and mothers, and that Mother’s Day is celebrated by some of the Masonic clubs in the Arab world such as the Rotary Club and Lions Club.
We may also note that Mother’s Day, which is March 21 (in the Arab world) is also the New Year of the Coptic Christians, and the Nawroz festival of the Kurds.
The shar’i viewpoint concerning Mother’s Day:
Islam has no need of things that are innovated by others, be it Mother’s Day of anything else. Its teachings on the honouring of mothers mean that it has no need for an innovated Mother’s Day.
Fatwas of the scholars
1. The scholars of the Standing Committee said:
Praise be to Allaah Alone and blessings and peace be upon His Messenger and his family and companions.
Firstly: Eid is a name given to a recurring occasion on which people come together,whether it is annual or monthly or weekly and so on. Eid combines a number of things: a day which recurs, such as Eid al-Fitr and Friday (Jumu’ah); gathering on that day; acts or worship and customs which are done on that day.
Secondly: whatever is done on that day as a ritual, act of worship or act of veneration that is done in order to seek reward, or that involves imitating the people of the Jaahiliyyah or similar kaafir groups is a forbidden act of innovation (bid’ah) and is included in the general meaning of the hadeeth in which the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said:
“Whoever innovates something in this matter of ours (Islam) that is not part of it will have it rejected.” (Narrated by al-Bukhaari and Muslim).
Examples of that include celebrating the Mawlid (Prophet’s birthday), Mother’s Day, and national days, because in the first case (Prophet’s birthday) that means worshipping in a manner that Allaah has not prescribed, and because it involves imitating the Christians and other kaafirs, and in the second and third cases (Mother’s Day and national holidays) it means imitating the kaafirs. As for occasions which are intended to organize work, for example, in the best interests of the ummah, such as traffic week or training sessions for employees and so on, which are not intended as acts of worship or veneration at all, these are customary innovations which are not included in the words of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him), “Whoever innovates something in this matter of ours (Islam) that is not part of it will have it rejected,” so there is nothing wrong with such things, rather they are prescribed in Islam.
And Allaah is the Source of strength. May Allaah send blessings and peace upon our Prophet Muhammad and his family and companions.
Standing Committee for Academic Research and Issuing Fatwas,Fatawa al-Lajnah al-Daa’imah, 3/59, 61
2. They also said:
It is not permissible to celebrate the so-called Mother’s Day and similar innovated festivals because the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Whoever innovates something in this matter of ours (Islam) that is not part of it will have it rejected.” He (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) did not celebrate Mother’s Day and neither did any of his companions (may Allaah be pleased with them) or the salaf (earliest generations) of this ummah. Rather it is an innovation (bid’ah) and imitation of the kuffaar.
Fataawa al-Lajnah al-Daa’imah, 3/86
3. Shaykh ‘Abd al-‘Azeez ibn Baaz said:
I read the article published in the al-Nadwah newspaper on 30/11/1384 AH, entitled Takreem al-Umm… wa Takreem al-Usrah(Honouring mothers… and honouring families), and I found that the writer approved of some of the what the west has done by singling out one day in the year to celebrate mothers. He pointed out something that is ignored by those who want to introduce this holiday, which is the pain and grief which those children who have lost their mothers suffer when they see their peers celebrating and honouring their mothers. He suggested that this celebration should honour the entire family and explained that Islam did not prescribe this festival, because the Islamic sharee’ah enjoins honouring one’s mother.
The writer did well by explaining why it is not prescribed in Islam and in pointing out the downside of this festival, of which many were unaware, but he did not point out the innovations involved which go against the clear texts that were narrated from the Messenger of Islam (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) or the harm that this causes, or the fact that it involves imitating the mushrikeen and kuffaar. So in these few words I wanted to point out to the writer and others the innovation in religion that is involved in this bid’ah and others that have been introduced by the enemies of Islam and those who are ignorant of it in order to damage its reputation and put people off Islam, and the confusion and division that have resulted from that, the extent of whose damage and corruption no one knows except Allaah.
It is proven in the saheeh ahaadeeth that the Messenger of Allaah(peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) warned against innovations in religion and against imitating the enemies of Allaah, the Jews, Christians and other mushrikeen. For example, he (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said:
“Whoever innovates something in this matter of ours (Islam) that is not part of it will have it rejected.” According to a version narrated by Muslim “Whoever does something that is not in accordance with this matter of ours (Islam) will have it rejected.”
What this means is that it will be rejected and thrown back on the one who innovated it. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) used to say in his Jumu’ah (Friday) khutbah: “The best of speech is the Book of Allaah and the best of guidance is the guidance of Muhammad (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him). The worst of matters are those which are newly-innovated and every innovation is a going astray.” This was narrated by Muslim in his Saheeh. Undoubtedly singling out one day in the year to celebrate and honour mothers or families is one of the newly-innovated matters that were not done by the Messenger of Allaah(peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) or by his blessed companions, so we must not do that and we must warn the people against it, and be content with that which Allaah and His Messenger have prescribed.
We have noted above that the writer stated that the Islamic sharee’ah enjoins respecting one’s mother and commands Muslims to honour their mothers all the time. He is correct on this point. The Muslims have to be content with that which Allaah has enjoined upon them of honouring and venerating their mothers, and treating them kindly, and obeying them when they tell them to do good all the time, and of avoiding innovated matters of which Allaah has warned them and which lead to imitation of the enemies of Allaah and following their paths and approving of the innovations of which they approve.
That does not apply only to mothers, rather Allaah has commanded the Muslims to honour and respect both parents and to treat them kindly, to uphold ties of kinship with all relatives. And Allaah has warned them against disobeying parents and severing the ties of kinship, but He has singled out the mother for more care and honour, because she takes more care of the child and because the hardships she faces in bearing, nursing and raising the child are greater. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“And your Lord has decreed that you worship none but Him. And that you be dutiful to your parents”
[al-Isra’ 17:23]
“And We have enjoined on man (to be dutiful and good) to his parents. His mother bore him in weakness and hardship upon weakness and hardship, and his weaning is in two years give thanks to Me and to your parents. Unto Me is the final destination”
[Luqmaan 31:14]
“Would you then, if you were given the authority, do mischief in the land, and sever your ties of kinship?
Such are they whom Allaah has cursed, so that He has made them deaf and blinded their sight”
[Muhammad 47:22-23]
It was narrated in a saheeh hadeeth that the Messenger of Allaah(peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said:
“Shall I not tell you of the greatest of major sins?” They said, “Yes, O Messenger of Allaah.” He said, “Associating others in worship with Allaah, and disobeying one’s parents.” He was reclining, but he sat up and said, “And false speech and false witness.” A man asked him (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) saying, “O Messenger of Allaah, who among the people is most deserving of my good company?” He said, “Your mother.” He asked, “Then who?” He said, “Then your mother.” He asked, “Then who?” He said, “Then your mother.” He asked, “Then who?” He said, “Then your father, then the next closest and the next closest.”
The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said:
“No one who severs the ties of kinship will enter Paradise.” And it was reported in a saheeh hadeeth that he (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Whoever would like his provision to be increased and his life to be made long, let him uphold the ties of kinship.”
There are many well-known aayahs and ahaadeeth which speak of honouring one’s parents and upholding the ties of kinship, and which affirm the rights of mothers. Those which we have quoted above are sufficient. They will prove to the one who ponders their meanings that it is obligatory to honour and respect both parents, and to treat them and all other relatives kindly at all times. They teach us that disobeying parents and severing the ties of kinship are among the worst characteristics and major sins which deserve the punishment of Hell and the wrath of Allaah. We ask Allaah to keep us safe from that.
This is better and more eloquent than the western innovation of singling out just one day in the year for honouring one’s mother, then neglecting her for the rest of the year, whilst also ignoring the rights of fathers and other relatives. The great mischief that results from this will be obvious to anyone who has insight, along with the fact that it is contrary to the laws of the Wisest of rulers and is bound to cause that which His trustworthy Messenger warned us against.
Similar to this are the innovations which many people follow, such as celebrating the Prophet’s birthday, or the anniversary of the country’s independence, or the accession of the king, and so on. All of these are innovations in which the Muslims are imitating others, namely the enemies of Allaah. They ignore the warning which Islam brought against that and the prohibition of such things. This confirms the saheeh hadeeth in which the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “You will certainly follow the ways of those who came before you, step by step, until even if they entered the hole of a lizard, you will do so too.” We asked, “O Messenger of Allaah, (do you mean) the Jews and the Christians?” He said, “Who else?” According to another version, “My ummah will follow in the footsteps of those who came before it, handspan by handspan, cubit by cubit.” It was asked, “O Messenger of Allaah, the Persians and Romans?” He said, “Who else?”
What the most truthful one (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said has indeed come to pass, as this ummah – except for those whom Allaah wills – have followed those who came before them, the Jews, Christians, Magians and other kaafirs, in many of their characteristics and actions, until Islam has become like a stranger and the teachings, morals and actions of the kuffaar have become better in the minds of many people than the ways of Islam, and good has become evil and evil has become good, Sunnah has become an innovation and bid’ah has become the way of many people, because of ignorance and turning away from the noble morals and righteous deeds taught by Islam. “Truly, to Allaah we belong and truly, to Him we shall return” [al-Baqarah 2:156 – interpretation of the meaning; words uttered at times of calamity]
We ask Allaah to enable the Muslims to understand their religion, and to improve their situation, and to guide their leaders, and to help our scholars and writers to spread word of the beauties of our faith and to warn against the bid’ahs and innovations which tarnish its reputation and put people off, for He is able to do all things. May Allaah send blessings and peace upon His slave and Messenger Muhammad and upon his family and companions, and those who follow his path and adhere to his Sunnah until the Day of Judgement.
(Majmoo’ Fataawa al-Shaykh Ibn Baaz, 5/189)
4. Shaykh Saalih al-Fawzaan said:
Matters which involve imitation of the kuffaar include imitating them in matters of worship, such as matters of shirk like erecting structures and shrines over graves and exaggerating concerning them. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “May the curse of Allaah be upon the Jews and the Christians, for they have taken the graves of their Prophets as places of worship.” And he said that if a righteous man among them died, they would build a place of worship over his grave and put images in it, and they are the most evil of mankind. There occur many actions which are tantamount to major shirk because of exaggeration concerning graves, because of that imitation of the Jews and Christians.
That also includes imitating them in mushrik and innovated festivals, such as the Mawlid celebrations on the birthday of the Messenger(peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) or the birthdays of presidents and kings. Some of these innovated or mushrik festivals may be known as “days” or “weeks”, such as the National Day or Mother’s Day or Cleanliness Week and so on. All of these occasions have been imported to the Muslims from the kuffaar, because in Islam there are only two festivals: Eid al-Fitr and Eid al-Adha. Everything else is an innovation (bid’ah) and imitation of the kuffaar. The Muslims must beware of that and not be influenced by the large numbers of so-called Muslims who do that and are ignorant of the true teachings of Islam, and who do such things because of ignorance, or who are not ignorant of the true teachings of Islam but do these things deliberately, in which case the matter is more serious.
“Indeed in the Messenger of Allaah (Muhammad) you have a good example to follow for him who hopes for (the Meeting with) Allaah and the Last Day, and remembers Allaah much”
[al-Ahzaab 33:21 – interpretation of the meaning]
From a khutbah entitled al-Hathth ‘ala Mukhaalifat al-Kuffaar (Urging the Muslims to be different to the kaafirs)
5. Shaykh Muhammad ibn Saalih al-‘Uthaymeen was asked about the ruling on celebrating so-called Mother’s Day. He replied:
All festivals that go against the festivals that are prescribed in Islam are bid’ahs and innovations that were not known at the time of the righteous salaf, and they may have come from the non-Muslims, in which case as well as being innovations they also entail imitating the enemies of Allaah. The Islamic festivals are well known to the Muslims, namely Eid al-Fitr and Eid al-Adha, and the weekly festival (Jumu’ah or Friday). There are no other festivals in Islam apart from these three. All festivals which have been introduced apart from these are to be rejected and are false according to the law of Allaah, because the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Whoever innovates something in this matter of ours (Islam) that is not part of it will have it rejected,” i.e., it will be thrown back at him and will not be accepted by Allaah. According to another version,
“Whoever does something that is not in accordance with this matter of ours (Islam) will have it rejected.”
Once this is clear, it is not permissible to celebrate the holiday mentioned in the question, which is known as Mother’s Day, and it is not permissible to introduce any of the symbols of that holiday such as expressing joy and happiness, giving gifts and so on.
The Muslim must be proud of his religion and adhere to the limits set by Allaah for His slaves, without adding anything or taking anything away. Moreover, the Muslim should not be weak and spineless, following anyone who makes noise, rather he should mould his character according to the sharee’ah of Allaah so that he will be followed, not following, and so that he will be an example, not one who follows the example of others, because the sharee’ah of Allaah – praise be to Allaah – is perfect in all ways, as Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“This day, I have perfected your religion for you, completed My Favour upon you, and have chosen for you Islam as your religion”
[al-Maa'idah 5:2]
Mothers deserve more than to be honoured on just one day of the year, rather mothers have rights over their children, who should look after them, take care of them and obey them, so long as that does not involve disobeying Allaah, at all times and in all places.
Fataawa Islamiyyah, 1/124; Majmoo’ Fataawa al-Shaykh Ibn ‘Uthaymeen, 2/301, 302
6. Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyah said, commenting on a similar topic:
From this the perfection of Islamic sharee’ah should be clear to you, and you should be able to understand some of the wisdom behind the commands of Allaah to His Messenger to be distinct from the kuffaar and to differ from them in all ways, so that being different will become a protection against falling into evil and into the same things as other people did. If a Muslim’s wife or children ask him to do any of these things, he should remind them of the festivals that are prescribed in Islam and be generous to them on those occasions so that they will no longer look for other occasions. If they do not accept that, then there is no power and no strength except with Allaah. Whoever upsets his family for the sake of Allaah, Allaah will make him pleased and will make them pleased. Let the wise man beware of obeying women in such matters. In al-Saheehayn it was narrated that Usaamah ibn Zayd said:
The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “I am not leaving behind any temptation that is more harmful to men than women.”
Most of the mischief caused to kings and states is because of obeying women. In Saheeh al-Bukhaari it is narrated that Abu Bakrah said: The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “No people will ever prosper who appoint a woman as their leader.”
And the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said to the Mothers of the Believers, when they double checked with him concerning the issue of instructing Abu Bakr to lead the people in prayer, “You are (like) the companions of Yoosuf,” meaning that women’s nature is to keep bothering the wise man with their questions. As he said in another hadeeth: “I have never seen anyone lacking in reasoning and religious commitment and more overwhelming to a wise man than any one of you.”
Therefore Allaah reminded us of His blessing to Zaraiyya when He said (interpretation of the meaning):
One of the scholars said: A man should pray to Allaah and try his best to reform his wife. And the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Whoever imitates a people is one of them.”
Majmoo’ al-Fataawa, 25/324-326
And Allaah knows best.
Mother’s Day – an historical overview and the scholars’ rulings on this holiday
Introduction:
The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) told us that his ummah would follow the previous nations, the Jews, Christians and Persians, but this was undoubtedly not praise for their actions, rather it is by way of condemnation and a warning. It was narrated from Abu Sa’eed (may Allaah be pleased with him) that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said:
“You will certainly follow the ways of those who came before you, handspan by handspan, cubit by cubit, until even if they entered the hole of a lizard, you will do so too.” We asked, “O Messenger of Allaah, (do you mean) the Jews and the Christians?” He said, “Who else?” (Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 3269; Muslim, 2669).
It was narrated from Abu Hurayrah (may Allaah be pleased with him) that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said:
“The Hour will not begin until my ummah follows in the footsteps of those who came before it, handspan by handspan, cubit by cubit.” It was asked, “O Messenger of Allaah, like the Persians and Romans?” He said, “Those are the people?” (Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 6888)
The ignorant among this ummah, and the innovators and heretics have followed the previous nations, the Jews, Christians and Persians, in their beliefs, ways, manners and dress. Our concern here is to point out in these days their following and imitation of them through the innovation of “Mother’s Day” or “Family Day”, which is a day that the Christians innovated to honour mothers, or so they claim. This then became a day that was venerated, when government departments would be shut and people would get in touch with their mothers or send them gifts and loving messages. But when the day was over, things would go back to the way they were, with people being cut off from their mothers and disobeying them.
What is strange is that the Muslims would feel a need to imitate them in such ways, when Allaah has commanded them to honour their mothers and has forbidden them to disobey them, and has made the reward for that (for obeying them) the highest status.
Definition of the word ‘Eid
[as Mother’s Day is known in Arabic as “Eid al-umm” or “mothers’ festival”; the word Eid is derive from the root ‘aada/ya’ood meaning to come back or return]
Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyah said:
“Eid (festival) is a name that is given to an occasion which returns, when people gather in a festive manner, whether that is annual or weekly or monthly and so on.”
(Iqtidaa’ al-Siraat al-Mustaqeem, 1/441).
Ibn ‘Aabideen (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: “ An ‘Eid is so called because Allaah repeatedly bestows blessings, i.e., kinds of blessings that come back to His slaves on these days, such as breaking the fast after refraining from eating, sadaqat al-fitr (obligatory charity paid at the end of Ramadaan), completing the Hajj by doing Tawaaf al-Ziyaarah, the sacrificial meats, and so on; and because the tradition on such occasions is to express joy and happiness, and to be energetic and happy.”
(Haashiyat Ibn ‘Aabideen, 2/165)
How many festivals are there in Islam?
The Muslim may note the large number of festivals that are observed among the Muslims nowadays, such as the Festival of Trees, Workers’ Day (May Day), the anniversary of the king’s accession to the throne, birthdays, etc… There is a long list of such days, but each of these is the innovation of the Jews, Christians and polytheists; they have no basis in Islam. There are no festivals in Islam apart from Eid al-Adha and Eid al-Fitr.
It was narrated that Anas ibn Maalik said: “During the Jaahiliyyah, the people had two days each year when they would play. When the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) came to Madeenah he said, ‘You had two days on which you would play, but Allaah has given you something better than them: the day of al-Fitr and the day of al-Adha.” (Narrated by Abu Dawood, 1134; al-Nasaa’i, 1556; classed as saheeh by Shaykh al-Albaani).
Honouring one’s mother
Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“Worship Allaah and join none with Him (in worship); and do good to parents, kinsfolk, orphans, Al-Masaakeen (the poor), the neighbour who is near of kin, the neighbour who is a stranger, the companion by your side, the wayfarer (you meet), and those (slaves) whom your right hands possess. Verily, Allaah does not like such as are proud and boastful”
[al-Nisa’ 4:36]
And Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“And your Lord has decreed that you worship none but Him. And that you be dutiful to your parents. If one of them or both of them attain old age in your life, say not to them a word of disrespect, nor shout at them but address them in terms of honour”
[al-Isra’ 17:23]
It was narrated that Abu Hurayrah (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: “A man came to the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) and said: ‘O Messenger of Allaah, who among the people is most deserving of my good company?’ He said, ‘Your mother.’ He asked, ‘Then who?’ He said, ‘Your mother.’ He asked, ‘Then who?’ He said, ‘Your mother.’ He asked, ‘Then who?’ He said, ‘Then your father.’”
(Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 5626; Muslim, 2548)
Al- Haafiz ibn Hajar said:
“Ibn Battaal said: what this means is that the mother should be honoured three times more than the father. He said, that is because of the difficulties of pregnancy, then giving birth, then breastfeeding. These are hardships that are experienced only by the mother, then the father shares with her in raising the child. This is also referred to in the aayah (interpretation of the meaning):
‘And We have enjoined on man (to be dutiful and good) to his parents. His mother bore him in weakness and hardship upon weakness and hardship, and his weaning is in two years’ [Luqmaan 31:14]
So the recommendation to be dutiful and good refers to both parents, but the mother’s share is greater because of the three things mentioned above. Al-Qurtubi said: what is meant is that the mother deserves a greater share of her child’s honour, and her rights take precedence over those of the father in cases where a choice must be made. ‘Iyaad said: the majority of scholars were of the view that the mother takes precedence over the father in terms of honouring one’s parents. And it was said that both must be honoured equally, and this was narrated by some from Maalik, but the former view is the one which is correct.”
(Fath al-Baari, 10/402).
Indeed, even if one’s mother is a mushrikah (polytheist), the wise and pure sharee’ah of Islam encourages one to uphold ties of kinship with her:
It was narrated that Asma’ bint Abi Bakr (may Allaah be pleased with them both) said: “My mother came to visit me at the time of the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) and she was a mushrikah. I consulted the Messenger of Allaah(peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him), saying, ‘My mother has come to visit me for some purpose, should I uphold ties of kinship with my mother?’ He said, ‘Yes, uphold ties of kinship with your mother.’”
(Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 2477)
Mothers in kaafir countries
Those who study the situation of families in general and of mothers in particular in the non-Muslim societies will hear and read of strange things. You can hardly find any complete family whose members keep in touch with one another, let alone meeting and conversing or staying together.
As some observers in kaafir countries have said: in the marketplaces or streets you may see a mother and her son or daughter, or a father and his son or daughter, but you will rarely see a whole family going shopping or walking in the streets.
When the father or mother grows old, the best among their children hastens to put them in seniors’ homes. Some Muslims went to some of these homes and asked a dozen of seniors what their greatest wish was. All of them said, “Death!” That is only because each of them is living in misery, grief and regret for the way they have ended up and the way their children have deserted them at the time when they need them most.
Timing of Mother’s Day in different countries
The date of Mother’s Day, and the way in which it is celebrated, differs from one country to another. In Norway it is celebrated on the second Sunday in February. In Argentina it is celebrated on the second Sunday in October. In Lebanon it is on the first day of spring. In South Africa it is celebrated on the first Sunday in May.
In France it is celebrated more as a family festival, on the last Sunday in May, when family members get together for dinner, then they give a cake to the mother.
Sweden also has a holiday for Family Day on the last Sunday of May. A few days before that the Swedish Red Cross sells small plastic roses for people to give to their mothers who will spend the holiday taking care of their children. In Japan this day is celebrated on the second Sunday in May, as in North America, where exhibitions are held of pictures drawn by children aged 6-14; these exhibitions are called “My Mother” This exhibition is moved every four years and has appeared in a number of countries.
Mother’s Day – an historical overview
Some researchers have said:
Some historians have suggested that Mother’s Day started with the ancient Greeks’ celebrations of spring festivals. These festivals were devoted to the mother goddess Rhea, the wife of Cronos, the father god. In ancient Rome there was a similar celebration devoted to the worship or veneration of Sybil, another mother of the gods. This began approximately 250 years before the birth of the Messiah (peace be upon him). These religious celebrations of the Romans were called “Hilaria” and lasted for three days from March 15 to March 18.
Sunday in England
This was a day similar to the modern Mother’s Day celebration, but it was called “Mothering Sunday” or (the Sunday half-way through Lent), because it occurred during their major fasting period (Lent). Some say that the celebrations that were held to worship and honour the Roman goddess Sybil were changed by the church to celebrations meant to honour and venerate Mary (peace be upon her). This custom began with some people encouraging people to visit the central church in their locality, bringing offerings. In 1600 young men and women of simple professions and servants started to visit their mothers on “Mothering Sunday”, bringing gifts and food. This is what happened in England. In the USA it was a different story.
The United States
Anna M. Jarvis (1864-1948):
She had the idea of making Mother’s Day an official holiday in the United States. She never married and she had a very strong relationship with her mother. She was the daughter of a minister and she taught in the Sunday School of Andrew Methodist Church in Grafton, West Virginia. Two years after her mother died, she launched a campaign addressed to bosses, ministers and congressmen, to declare Mother’s Day an official holiday in the country. She felt that children did not appreciate what their mothers had done for them during their lives, and she hoped that this day would strengthen the feelings of children for their mothers and fathers, and strengthen family ties.
The beginning
The church honoured Miss Anna Jarvis in Grafton, West Virginia, and in Philadelphia and Pennsylvania on May 10, 1908. This was the beginning of Mother’s Day in the United States.
Carnations were one of her mother’s favourite flowers, especially white ones, because they were supposed to represent goodness, purity and patience, which are characteristic of a mother’s love. As time went by, red carnations became a symbol that the mother was still alive, and white carnations became a symbol that the mother had passed away.
The first official declaration of Mother’s Day in the United States was in West Virginia and Oklahoma in 1910. In 1911 the entire U.S. celebrated this day. By then these celebrations had also spread to Mexico, Canada, China, Japan, Latin America and Africa. Then the U.S. Congress officially agreed to announce celebrations of Mother’s Day, on May 10, 1913, and the first Sunday in May was chosen as Mother’s Day.
Mother’s Day in the Arab World
The idea of celebrating Mother’s Day in the Arab world began in Egypt, and was started by the two brothers Mustafa and ‘Ali Ameen, the founders of the Akhbaar al-Yawm newspaper. ‘Ali Ameen himself had received a letter from a mother complaining of her children’s meanness and bad treatment towards her, and suffering because of their failure to appreciate her. It so happened that another mother visited Mustafa Ameen in his office and told him her story; briefly, she had been widowed when her children were small, and she had not remarried.
She had devoted her life to her children, playing the role of both father and mother, spending all her energy in taking care of her children, until they left to go to university and get married. Each of them was living an independent life, and they only visited her on rare occasions. Mustafa Ameen and ‘Ali Ameen wrote in their famous column Fikrah (“Idea”) suggesting that a day should be set aside for mothers, to remember their virtues. They pointed out that the west did that, and that Islam enjoined taking care of one’s mother. Many letters were sent to the newspaper, supporting this idea. Some suggested that a whole week should be devoted to mothers, not just one day, and others rejected the idea, saying that every day of the year should be for one’s mother, not just one day.
But most readers agreed with the idea of setting aside one day, and they voted to choose March 21, which is also the first day of spring, to be Mother’s Day and a symbol of open-heartedness, purity and beautiful feelings.
Egypt celebrated Mother’s Day for the first time on March 21, 1956. >From Egypt this idea spread to other Arab countries. At some point some people suggested that Mother’s Day should be called Family Day, so as to honour fathers as well, but this idea was not widely accepted, as people thought that this detracted from the rights of mothers, or they accused the proponents of the Family Day idea of thinking that it was too much to allocate a day just for mothers. Even now the Arab countries still celebrate this day through the various kinds of media and honour the ideal mothers who have gone through immense struggles for their children’s sake at every level.
After knowing that, it comes as no surprise that most of those who celebrate Mother’s Day are the Jews and Christians and those who imitate them, and that they say that this is because of their concern for women and mothers, and that Mother’s Day is celebrated by some of the Masonic clubs in the Arab world such as the Rotary Club and Lions Club.
We may also note that Mother’s Day, which is March 21 (in the Arab world) is also the New Year of the Coptic Christians, and the Nawroz festival of the Kurds.
The shar’i viewpoint concerning Mother’s Day:
Islam has no need of things that are innovated by others, be it Mother’s Day of anything else. Its teachings on the honouring of mothers mean that it has no need for an innovated Mother’s Day.
Fatwas of the scholars
1. The scholars of the Standing Committee said:
Praise be to Allaah Alone and blessings and peace be upon His Messenger and his family and companions.
Firstly: Eid is a name given to a recurring occasion on which people come together,whether it is annual or monthly or weekly and so on. Eid combines a number of things: a day which recurs, such as Eid al-Fitr and Friday (Jumu’ah); gathering on that day; acts or worship and customs which are done on that day.
Secondly: whatever is done on that day as a ritual, act of worship or act of veneration that is done in order to seek reward, or that involves imitating the people of the Jaahiliyyah or similar kaafir groups is a forbidden act of innovation (bid’ah) and is included in the general meaning of the hadeeth in which the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said:
“Whoever innovates something in this matter of ours (Islam) that is not part of it will have it rejected.” (Narrated by al-Bukhaari and Muslim).
Examples of that include celebrating the Mawlid (Prophet’s birthday), Mother’s Day, and national days, because in the first case (Prophet’s birthday) that means worshipping in a manner that Allaah has not prescribed, and because it involves imitating the Christians and other kaafirs, and in the second and third cases (Mother’s Day and national holidays) it means imitating the kaafirs. As for occasions which are intended to organize work, for example, in the best interests of the ummah, such as traffic week or training sessions for employees and so on, which are not intended as acts of worship or veneration at all, these are customary innovations which are not included in the words of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him), “Whoever innovates something in this matter of ours (Islam) that is not part of it will have it rejected,” so there is nothing wrong with such things, rather they are prescribed in Islam.
And Allaah is the Source of strength. May Allaah send blessings and peace upon our Prophet Muhammad and his family and companions.
Standing Committee for Academic Research and Issuing Fatwas,Fatawa al-Lajnah al-Daa’imah, 3/59, 61
2. They also said:
It is not permissible to celebrate the so-called Mother’s Day and similar innovated festivals because the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Whoever innovates something in this matter of ours (Islam) that is not part of it will have it rejected.” He (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) did not celebrate Mother’s Day and neither did any of his companions (may Allaah be pleased with them) or the salaf (earliest generations) of this ummah. Rather it is an innovation (bid’ah) and imitation of the kuffaar.
Fataawa al-Lajnah al-Daa’imah, 3/86
3. Shaykh ‘Abd al-‘Azeez ibn Baaz said:
I read the article published in the al-Nadwah newspaper on 30/11/1384 AH, entitled Takreem al-Umm… wa Takreem al-Usrah(Honouring mothers… and honouring families), and I found that the writer approved of some of the what the west has done by singling out one day in the year to celebrate mothers. He pointed out something that is ignored by those who want to introduce this holiday, which is the pain and grief which those children who have lost their mothers suffer when they see their peers celebrating and honouring their mothers. He suggested that this celebration should honour the entire family and explained that Islam did not prescribe this festival, because the Islamic sharee’ah enjoins honouring one’s mother.
The writer did well by explaining why it is not prescribed in Islam and in pointing out the downside of this festival, of which many were unaware, but he did not point out the innovations involved which go against the clear texts that were narrated from the Messenger of Islam (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) or the harm that this causes, or the fact that it involves imitating the mushrikeen and kuffaar. So in these few words I wanted to point out to the writer and others the innovation in religion that is involved in this bid’ah and others that have been introduced by the enemies of Islam and those who are ignorant of it in order to damage its reputation and put people off Islam, and the confusion and division that have resulted from that, the extent of whose damage and corruption no one knows except Allaah.
It is proven in the saheeh ahaadeeth that the Messenger of Allaah(peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) warned against innovations in religion and against imitating the enemies of Allaah, the Jews, Christians and other mushrikeen. For example, he (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said:
“Whoever innovates something in this matter of ours (Islam) that is not part of it will have it rejected.” According to a version narrated by Muslim “Whoever does something that is not in accordance with this matter of ours (Islam) will have it rejected.”
What this means is that it will be rejected and thrown back on the one who innovated it. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) used to say in his Jumu’ah (Friday) khutbah: “The best of speech is the Book of Allaah and the best of guidance is the guidance of Muhammad (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him). The worst of matters are those which are newly-innovated and every innovation is a going astray.” This was narrated by Muslim in his Saheeh. Undoubtedly singling out one day in the year to celebrate and honour mothers or families is one of the newly-innovated matters that were not done by the Messenger of Allaah(peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) or by his blessed companions, so we must not do that and we must warn the people against it, and be content with that which Allaah and His Messenger have prescribed.
We have noted above that the writer stated that the Islamic sharee’ah enjoins respecting one’s mother and commands Muslims to honour their mothers all the time. He is correct on this point. The Muslims have to be content with that which Allaah has enjoined upon them of honouring and venerating their mothers, and treating them kindly, and obeying them when they tell them to do good all the time, and of avoiding innovated matters of which Allaah has warned them and which lead to imitation of the enemies of Allaah and following their paths and approving of the innovations of which they approve.
That does not apply only to mothers, rather Allaah has commanded the Muslims to honour and respect both parents and to treat them kindly, to uphold ties of kinship with all relatives. And Allaah has warned them against disobeying parents and severing the ties of kinship, but He has singled out the mother for more care and honour, because she takes more care of the child and because the hardships she faces in bearing, nursing and raising the child are greater. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“And your Lord has decreed that you worship none but Him. And that you be dutiful to your parents”
[al-Isra’ 17:23]
“And We have enjoined on man (to be dutiful and good) to his parents. His mother bore him in weakness and hardship upon weakness and hardship, and his weaning is in two years give thanks to Me and to your parents. Unto Me is the final destination”
[Luqmaan 31:14]
“Would you then, if you were given the authority, do mischief in the land, and sever your ties of kinship?
Such are they whom Allaah has cursed, so that He has made them deaf and blinded their sight”
[Muhammad 47:22-23]
It was narrated in a saheeh hadeeth that the Messenger of Allaah(peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said:
“Shall I not tell you of the greatest of major sins?” They said, “Yes, O Messenger of Allaah.” He said, “Associating others in worship with Allaah, and disobeying one’s parents.” He was reclining, but he sat up and said, “And false speech and false witness.” A man asked him (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) saying, “O Messenger of Allaah, who among the people is most deserving of my good company?” He said, “Your mother.” He asked, “Then who?” He said, “Then your mother.” He asked, “Then who?” He said, “Then your mother.” He asked, “Then who?” He said, “Then your father, then the next closest and the next closest.”
The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said:
“No one who severs the ties of kinship will enter Paradise.” And it was reported in a saheeh hadeeth that he (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Whoever would like his provision to be increased and his life to be made long, let him uphold the ties of kinship.”
There are many well-known aayahs and ahaadeeth which speak of honouring one’s parents and upholding the ties of kinship, and which affirm the rights of mothers. Those which we have quoted above are sufficient. They will prove to the one who ponders their meanings that it is obligatory to honour and respect both parents, and to treat them and all other relatives kindly at all times. They teach us that disobeying parents and severing the ties of kinship are among the worst characteristics and major sins which deserve the punishment of Hell and the wrath of Allaah. We ask Allaah to keep us safe from that.
This is better and more eloquent than the western innovation of singling out just one day in the year for honouring one’s mother, then neglecting her for the rest of the year, whilst also ignoring the rights of fathers and other relatives. The great mischief that results from this will be obvious to anyone who has insight, along with the fact that it is contrary to the laws of the Wisest of rulers and is bound to cause that which His trustworthy Messenger warned us against.
Similar to this are the innovations which many people follow, such as celebrating the Prophet’s birthday, or the anniversary of the country’s independence, or the accession of the king, and so on. All of these are innovations in which the Muslims are imitating others, namely the enemies of Allaah. They ignore the warning which Islam brought against that and the prohibition of such things. This confirms the saheeh hadeeth in which the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “You will certainly follow the ways of those who came before you, step by step, until even if they entered the hole of a lizard, you will do so too.” We asked, “O Messenger of Allaah, (do you mean) the Jews and the Christians?” He said, “Who else?” According to another version, “My ummah will follow in the footsteps of those who came before it, handspan by handspan, cubit by cubit.” It was asked, “O Messenger of Allaah, the Persians and Romans?” He said, “Who else?”
What the most truthful one (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said has indeed come to pass, as this ummah – except for those whom Allaah wills – have followed those who came before them, the Jews, Christians, Magians and other kaafirs, in many of their characteristics and actions, until Islam has become like a stranger and the teachings, morals and actions of the kuffaar have become better in the minds of many people than the ways of Islam, and good has become evil and evil has become good, Sunnah has become an innovation and bid’ah has become the way of many people, because of ignorance and turning away from the noble morals and righteous deeds taught by Islam. “Truly, to Allaah we belong and truly, to Him we shall return” [al-Baqarah 2:156 – interpretation of the meaning; words uttered at times of calamity]
We ask Allaah to enable the Muslims to understand their religion, and to improve their situation, and to guide their leaders, and to help our scholars and writers to spread word of the beauties of our faith and to warn against the bid’ahs and innovations which tarnish its reputation and put people off, for He is able to do all things. May Allaah send blessings and peace upon His slave and Messenger Muhammad and upon his family and companions, and those who follow his path and adhere to his Sunnah until the Day of Judgement.
(Majmoo’ Fataawa al-Shaykh Ibn Baaz, 5/189)
4. Shaykh Saalih al-Fawzaan said:
Matters which involve imitation of the kuffaar include imitating them in matters of worship, such as matters of shirk like erecting structures and shrines over graves and exaggerating concerning them. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “May the curse of Allaah be upon the Jews and the Christians, for they have taken the graves of their Prophets as places of worship.” And he said that if a righteous man among them died, they would build a place of worship over his grave and put images in it, and they are the most evil of mankind. There occur many actions which are tantamount to major shirk because of exaggeration concerning graves, because of that imitation of the Jews and Christians.
That also includes imitating them in mushrik and innovated festivals, such as the Mawlid celebrations on the birthday of the Messenger(peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) or the birthdays of presidents and kings. Some of these innovated or mushrik festivals may be known as “days” or “weeks”, such as the National Day or Mother’s Day or Cleanliness Week and so on. All of these occasions have been imported to the Muslims from the kuffaar, because in Islam there are only two festivals: Eid al-Fitr and Eid al-Adha. Everything else is an innovation (bid’ah) and imitation of the kuffaar. The Muslims must beware of that and not be influenced by the large numbers of so-called Muslims who do that and are ignorant of the true teachings of Islam, and who do such things because of ignorance, or who are not ignorant of the true teachings of Islam but do these things deliberately, in which case the matter is more serious.
“Indeed in the Messenger of Allaah (Muhammad) you have a good example to follow for him who hopes for (the Meeting with) Allaah and the Last Day, and remembers Allaah much”
[al-Ahzaab 33:21 – interpretation of the meaning]
From a khutbah entitled al-Hathth ‘ala Mukhaalifat al-Kuffaar (Urging the Muslims to be different to the kaafirs)
5. Shaykh Muhammad ibn Saalih al-‘Uthaymeen was asked about the ruling on celebrating so-called Mother’s Day. He replied:
All festivals that go against the festivals that are prescribed in Islam are bid’ahs and innovations that were not known at the time of the righteous salaf, and they may have come from the non-Muslims, in which case as well as being innovations they also entail imitating the enemies of Allaah. The Islamic festivals are well known to the Muslims, namely Eid al-Fitr and Eid al-Adha, and the weekly festival (Jumu’ah or Friday). There are no other festivals in Islam apart from these three. All festivals which have been introduced apart from these are to be rejected and are false according to the law of Allaah, because the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Whoever innovates something in this matter of ours (Islam) that is not part of it will have it rejected,” i.e., it will be thrown back at him and will not be accepted by Allaah. According to another version,
“Whoever does something that is not in accordance with this matter of ours (Islam) will have it rejected.”
Once this is clear, it is not permissible to celebrate the holiday mentioned in the question, which is known as Mother’s Day, and it is not permissible to introduce any of the symbols of that holiday such as expressing joy and happiness, giving gifts and so on.
The Muslim must be proud of his religion and adhere to the limits set by Allaah for His slaves, without adding anything or taking anything away. Moreover, the Muslim should not be weak and spineless, following anyone who makes noise, rather he should mould his character according to the sharee’ah of Allaah so that he will be followed, not following, and so that he will be an example, not one who follows the example of others, because the sharee’ah of Allaah – praise be to Allaah – is perfect in all ways, as Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“This day, I have perfected your religion for you, completed My Favour upon you, and have chosen for you Islam as your religion”
[al-Maa'idah 5:2]
Mothers deserve more than to be honoured on just one day of the year, rather mothers have rights over their children, who should look after them, take care of them and obey them, so long as that does not involve disobeying Allaah, at all times and in all places.
Fataawa Islamiyyah, 1/124; Majmoo’ Fataawa al-Shaykh Ibn ‘Uthaymeen, 2/301, 302
6. Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyah said, commenting on a similar topic:
From this the perfection of Islamic sharee’ah should be clear to you, and you should be able to understand some of the wisdom behind the commands of Allaah to His Messenger to be distinct from the kuffaar and to differ from them in all ways, so that being different will become a protection against falling into evil and into the same things as other people did. If a Muslim’s wife or children ask him to do any of these things, he should remind them of the festivals that are prescribed in Islam and be generous to them on those occasions so that they will no longer look for other occasions. If they do not accept that, then there is no power and no strength except with Allaah. Whoever upsets his family for the sake of Allaah, Allaah will make him pleased and will make them pleased. Let the wise man beware of obeying women in such matters. In al-Saheehayn it was narrated that Usaamah ibn Zayd said:
The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “I am not leaving behind any temptation that is more harmful to men than women.”
Most of the mischief caused to kings and states is because of obeying women. In Saheeh al-Bukhaari it is narrated that Abu Bakrah said: The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “No people will ever prosper who appoint a woman as their leader.”
And the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said to the Mothers of the Believers, when they double checked with him concerning the issue of instructing Abu Bakr to lead the people in prayer, “You are (like) the companions of Yoosuf,” meaning that women’s nature is to keep bothering the wise man with their questions. As he said in another hadeeth: “I have never seen anyone lacking in reasoning and religious commitment and more overwhelming to a wise man than any one of you.”
Therefore Allaah reminded us of His blessing to Zaraiyya when He said (interpretation of the meaning):
One of the scholars said: A man should pray to Allaah and try his best to reform his wife. And the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Whoever imitates a people is one of them.”
Majmoo’ al-Fataawa, 25/324-326
And Allaah knows best.
Questions to ask a prospective husband
Questions to ask a prospective husband
When choosing a partner, there are numerous issues which may lead to friction and conflict. Following the principle that prevention is better than cure, it seems wise to air these issues before a match is finalized. Some of the issues may appear trivial or mundane, but the stuff of everyday life is also the stuff of arguments! Other issues are more serious, and may be indicative of the potential for a stormy and abusive marriage. Each marriage will have its ups and downs, but settling some of these matters may avoid the emergence of major, insoluble problems and consequent heartbreak.
These are all questions that may be asked directly or else “researched” by observation, asking his relatives, members of the community, etc. The prospective bride may ask some of these questions when the couple meet, but many women may feel too shy to ask outright. Family or friends can also help with the research – in many Muslim countries, relatives of prospective partners often visit to check the person out!
Asking/answering such questions is not gheebah or backbiting, and people should not hesitate to tell the truth when it concerns a possible marriage; the intent is to establish whether these two people are compatible. Avoiding a poor match will save all concerned from much heartache. At the same time, whether the marriage proceeds or not, any information thus gathered should be kept confidential – any “faults” uncovered should not be generally broadcast in the community!
These suggested questions are derived from two sources: an article entititled “Spousal Abuse and its Prevention” by Br. Abdul Rehman in Islamic Sisters International, and the feedback I received during a workshop I led on “Choosing a Marriage Partner” at the ISSRA Conference on Health and Social Issues, Toronto, May 25, 1996.
The Big Issues:
(1) What makes him angry and how does he deal with his anger?
Does he blame everybody but himself?
Does he stop talking to the person involved?
Does he bear grudges (“I’ll get him back one day!”)
Has he ever physically or mentally abused anyone with whom he was angry?
Does he get angry when those who may be wiser disagree or suggest an alternative point of view?
Does he ever forgive those with whom he was angry?
(2) How does he behave during a crisis?
Does he blame everyone except himself?
Does he become hostile towards an uninvolved member of an ethnic group which is known to abuse followers of Islam?
What steps does he take to face and deal with pressure?
Does he remain optimistic that things will get better, and that after every difficulty comes ease?
(3) How does he feel about women’s rights in a Muslim home?
Did he ever observe abuse from his father towards his mother?
Did he ever act to prevent abuse at home? How?
Did he believe that his father was always right?
Does he believe that all women deserve abuse?
How does he make decisions? Does he rely on his own wisdom? Does he consult with close friends?
Will he be willing to consult with his spouse on any decision?
Does he stick firmly to his decisions?
(4) How does he deal with money matters?
Does he save his money for the future?
Does he give money to charities?
When he decides to buy something, will he consult his spouse in making the decision?
How does he describe his own spending and attitude towards money?
(5) What does he expect from his wife and children?
How would he react if his expectations are not met?
What is his vision of family life?
Would he pitch in and co-operate in family chores and the upbringing of children?
Would he be willing to change to accommodate your views?
(6) What are his family like?
Are his family religious, or will you be the only one in hijab?
Does their approach to Islam differ from yours – will you be the only “fundamentalists” in a family whose Islam is more “traditional”?
If this is a mixed match, are his folks open to outsiders, or will you face clannishness and exclusion?
(7) What is his medical background?
(Many Imams in the US are now refusing to conduct Nikah until they see proof that the couple have undergone blood tests and been given a clean bill of health)
Has he ever had an AIDS test, and what was the result?
Is there any history of major illness in his family?
(8) What are his views on education of women and children?
Will he allow you to continue and/or return to education?
What are his views on education and schooling of children? If you have strong views on Islamic schools, home schooling, etc., find out if his views coincide with yours.
Will he take part in the children’s upbringing and education? Will he teach them Qur’an?
(9) Where does he want to live?
Does he want to settle in the country where you now live?
Does he want to return to his homeland? Does he want to move to a new country altogether?
Will the family have to move frequently because of his profession?
Will he take your feelings into account when deciding where to live?
Does he aspire to a large and luxurious home, or will he settle for less? Does he want to live in the heart of the city, in the suburbs, or in an isolated rural setting?
Day-to-day matters
Some of these are individual preferences – what may deeply concern some may not even be an issue to others, but if you have some strong feelings on a matter, it is better to get it out into the open before you make a commitment:
(1) Food:
Do you agree on the “halal meat” issue – some people will only eat halal-slaughtered meat, whilst others will eat any “meat of the Jews and Christians” as long as it’s not pork.
Does he insist on only eating the food of his own ethnic group, or are his tastes more eclectic?
Will he insist on having every meal cooked from scratch, or will you be able to have convenience food or take-away on busy days?
Does he have some strong preferences for meat, or will you “go vegetarian” some days?
(2) Smoking:
Does he smoke? Do any of his family or friends smoke? Will he let people smoke in your non-smoking home?
(3) Going Out:
How does he feel about women going outside the home? studying outside? working outside?
Will he want to “check out” your friends and only let you visit those of whom he approves?
How does he feel about women driving?
(4) Pets:
Are either of you very keen to keep pets at home?
Do either of you have any allergies, dislikes, or phobias when it comes to animals?
Taken from Bent Rib: A Journey through women’s issues in Islam by Huda al-Khattab
————————————————————-
100 Premarital Questions
1. What is your concept of marriage?
2. Have you been married before?
3. Are you married now?
4. What are you expectations of marriage?
5. What are your goals in life? (long and short term)
6. Identify three things that you want to accomplish in the near
future.
7. Identify three things that you want to accomplish, long term.
8. Why have you chosen me/other person as a potential spouse?
9. What is the role of religion in your life now?
10. Are you a spiritual person?
11. What is your understanding of an Islamic marriage?
12. What are you expecting of your spouse, religiously?
13. What is your relationship between yourself and the Muslims community in your area?
14. Are you volunteering in any Islamic activities?
15. What can you offer your zawj (spouse), spiritually?
16. What is the role of the husband?
17. What is the role of the wife?
18. Do you want to practice polygamy?
19. What is your relationship with your family?
20. What do you expect your relationship with the family of your spouse to be?
21. What do you expect your spouses relationship with your family to be?
22. Is there anyone in your family living with you now?
23. Are you planning to have anyone in your family live with you in the future?
24. If, for any reason, my relationship with your family turns sour,what should be done?
25. Who are your friends? (Identify at least three.)
26. How did you get to know them?
27. Why are they your friends?
28. What do you like most about them?
29. What will your relationship with them after marriage be?
30. Do you have friends of the opposite sex?
31. What is the level of your relationship with them now?
32. What will be the level of your relationship with them after marriage?
33. What type of relationship do you want your spouse to have with your friends?
34. What are the things that you do in your free time?
35. Do you love to have guests in your home for entertainment?
36. What are you expecting from your spouse when your friends come to the house?
37. What is your opinion of speaking other languages in home that I do not understand? (with friends or family)
38. Do you travel?
39. How do you spend your vacations?
40. How do you think your spouse should spend vacations?
41. Do you read?
42. What do you read?
43. After marriage, do you think that you are one to express romantic feelings verbally?
44. After marriage, do you think that you want to express affection in public?
45. How do you express your admiration for someone that you know now?
46. How do you express your feelings to someone who has done a favor for you?
47. Do you like to write your feelings?
48. If you wrong someone, how do you apologize?
49. If someone has wronged you, how do you want (s)he to apologize to you?
50. How much time passes before you can forgive someone?
51. How do you make important and less important decisions in your life?
52. Do you use foul language at home? In public? With family?
53. Do your friends use foul language?
54. Does your family use foul language?
55. How do you express anger?
56. How do you expect your spouse to express anger?
57. What do you do when you are angry?
58. When do you think it is appropriate to initiate mediation in marriage?
59. When there is a dispute in your marriage, religious or otherwise,how should the conflict get resolved?
60. Define mental, verbal, emotional and physical abuse.
61. What would you do if you felt that you had been abused?
62. Who would you call for assistance if you were being abused?
63. Do you suffer from any chronic disease or condition?
64. Are you willing to take a physical exam by a physician before marriage?
65. What is your understanding of proper health and nutrition?
66. How do you support your own health and nutrition?
67. What is you definition of wealth?
68. How do you spend money?
69. How do you save money?
70. How do you think that your use of money will change after marriage?
71. Do you have any debts now? If so, how are you making progress to eliminate them?
72. Do you use credit cards?
73. Do you support the idea of taking loans to buy a new home?
74. What are you expecting from your spouse financially?
75. What is your financial responsibility in the marriage?
76. Do you support the idea of a working wife?
77. If so, how do you think a dual-income family should manage funds?
78. Do you currently use a budget to manage your finances?
79. Who are the people to whom you are financially responsible?
80. Do you support the idea of utilizing baby sitters and/or maids?
81. Do you want to have children? If not, how come?
82. To the best of your understanding, are you able to have children?
83. Do you want to have children in the first two years of marriage? If not, when?
84. Do you believe in abortion?
85. Do you have children now?
86. What is your relationship with your children now?
87. What is your relationship with their other parent?
88. What relationship do you expect your spouse to have with your children and their parent?
89. What is the best method(s) of raising children?
90. What is the best method(s) of disciplining children?
91. How were you raised?
92. How were you disciplined?
93. Do you believe in spanking children? Under what circumstances?
94. Do you believe in public school for your children?
95. Do you believe in Islamic school for your children?
96. Do you believe in home schooling for your children?
97. What type of relationship should your children have with non-Muslim classmates/friends?
98. Would you send your children to visit their extended family if they lived in another state or country?
99. What type of relationship do you want your children to have with all their grandparents?
100. If there are members of my family that are not Muslim, that are of different race or culture, what type of relationship do you want to have with them?
When choosing a partner, there are numerous issues which may lead to friction and conflict. Following the principle that prevention is better than cure, it seems wise to air these issues before a match is finalized. Some of the issues may appear trivial or mundane, but the stuff of everyday life is also the stuff of arguments! Other issues are more serious, and may be indicative of the potential for a stormy and abusive marriage. Each marriage will have its ups and downs, but settling some of these matters may avoid the emergence of major, insoluble problems and consequent heartbreak.
These are all questions that may be asked directly or else “researched” by observation, asking his relatives, members of the community, etc. The prospective bride may ask some of these questions when the couple meet, but many women may feel too shy to ask outright. Family or friends can also help with the research – in many Muslim countries, relatives of prospective partners often visit to check the person out!
Asking/answering such questions is not gheebah or backbiting, and people should not hesitate to tell the truth when it concerns a possible marriage; the intent is to establish whether these two people are compatible. Avoiding a poor match will save all concerned from much heartache. At the same time, whether the marriage proceeds or not, any information thus gathered should be kept confidential – any “faults” uncovered should not be generally broadcast in the community!
These suggested questions are derived from two sources: an article entititled “Spousal Abuse and its Prevention” by Br. Abdul Rehman in Islamic Sisters International, and the feedback I received during a workshop I led on “Choosing a Marriage Partner” at the ISSRA Conference on Health and Social Issues, Toronto, May 25, 1996.
The Big Issues:
(1) What makes him angry and how does he deal with his anger?
Does he blame everybody but himself?
Does he stop talking to the person involved?
Does he bear grudges (“I’ll get him back one day!”)
Has he ever physically or mentally abused anyone with whom he was angry?
Does he get angry when those who may be wiser disagree or suggest an alternative point of view?
Does he ever forgive those with whom he was angry?
(2) How does he behave during a crisis?
Does he blame everyone except himself?
Does he become hostile towards an uninvolved member of an ethnic group which is known to abuse followers of Islam?
What steps does he take to face and deal with pressure?
Does he remain optimistic that things will get better, and that after every difficulty comes ease?
(3) How does he feel about women’s rights in a Muslim home?
Did he ever observe abuse from his father towards his mother?
Did he ever act to prevent abuse at home? How?
Did he believe that his father was always right?
Does he believe that all women deserve abuse?
How does he make decisions? Does he rely on his own wisdom? Does he consult with close friends?
Will he be willing to consult with his spouse on any decision?
Does he stick firmly to his decisions?
(4) How does he deal with money matters?
Does he save his money for the future?
Does he give money to charities?
When he decides to buy something, will he consult his spouse in making the decision?
How does he describe his own spending and attitude towards money?
(5) What does he expect from his wife and children?
How would he react if his expectations are not met?
What is his vision of family life?
Would he pitch in and co-operate in family chores and the upbringing of children?
Would he be willing to change to accommodate your views?
(6) What are his family like?
Are his family religious, or will you be the only one in hijab?
Does their approach to Islam differ from yours – will you be the only “fundamentalists” in a family whose Islam is more “traditional”?
If this is a mixed match, are his folks open to outsiders, or will you face clannishness and exclusion?
(7) What is his medical background?
(Many Imams in the US are now refusing to conduct Nikah until they see proof that the couple have undergone blood tests and been given a clean bill of health)
Has he ever had an AIDS test, and what was the result?
Is there any history of major illness in his family?
(8) What are his views on education of women and children?
Will he allow you to continue and/or return to education?
What are his views on education and schooling of children? If you have strong views on Islamic schools, home schooling, etc., find out if his views coincide with yours.
Will he take part in the children’s upbringing and education? Will he teach them Qur’an?
(9) Where does he want to live?
Does he want to settle in the country where you now live?
Does he want to return to his homeland? Does he want to move to a new country altogether?
Will the family have to move frequently because of his profession?
Will he take your feelings into account when deciding where to live?
Does he aspire to a large and luxurious home, or will he settle for less? Does he want to live in the heart of the city, in the suburbs, or in an isolated rural setting?
Day-to-day matters
Some of these are individual preferences – what may deeply concern some may not even be an issue to others, but if you have some strong feelings on a matter, it is better to get it out into the open before you make a commitment:
(1) Food:
Do you agree on the “halal meat” issue – some people will only eat halal-slaughtered meat, whilst others will eat any “meat of the Jews and Christians” as long as it’s not pork.
Does he insist on only eating the food of his own ethnic group, or are his tastes more eclectic?
Will he insist on having every meal cooked from scratch, or will you be able to have convenience food or take-away on busy days?
Does he have some strong preferences for meat, or will you “go vegetarian” some days?
(2) Smoking:
Does he smoke? Do any of his family or friends smoke? Will he let people smoke in your non-smoking home?
(3) Going Out:
How does he feel about women going outside the home? studying outside? working outside?
Will he want to “check out” your friends and only let you visit those of whom he approves?
How does he feel about women driving?
(4) Pets:
Are either of you very keen to keep pets at home?
Do either of you have any allergies, dislikes, or phobias when it comes to animals?
Taken from Bent Rib: A Journey through women’s issues in Islam by Huda al-Khattab
————————————————————-
100 Premarital Questions
1. What is your concept of marriage?
2. Have you been married before?
3. Are you married now?
4. What are you expectations of marriage?
5. What are your goals in life? (long and short term)
6. Identify three things that you want to accomplish in the near
future.
7. Identify three things that you want to accomplish, long term.
8. Why have you chosen me/other person as a potential spouse?
9. What is the role of religion in your life now?
10. Are you a spiritual person?
11. What is your understanding of an Islamic marriage?
12. What are you expecting of your spouse, religiously?
13. What is your relationship between yourself and the Muslims community in your area?
14. Are you volunteering in any Islamic activities?
15. What can you offer your zawj (spouse), spiritually?
16. What is the role of the husband?
17. What is the role of the wife?
18. Do you want to practice polygamy?
19. What is your relationship with your family?
20. What do you expect your relationship with the family of your spouse to be?
21. What do you expect your spouses relationship with your family to be?
22. Is there anyone in your family living with you now?
23. Are you planning to have anyone in your family live with you in the future?
24. If, for any reason, my relationship with your family turns sour,what should be done?
25. Who are your friends? (Identify at least three.)
26. How did you get to know them?
27. Why are they your friends?
28. What do you like most about them?
29. What will your relationship with them after marriage be?
30. Do you have friends of the opposite sex?
31. What is the level of your relationship with them now?
32. What will be the level of your relationship with them after marriage?
33. What type of relationship do you want your spouse to have with your friends?
34. What are the things that you do in your free time?
35. Do you love to have guests in your home for entertainment?
36. What are you expecting from your spouse when your friends come to the house?
37. What is your opinion of speaking other languages in home that I do not understand? (with friends or family)
38. Do you travel?
39. How do you spend your vacations?
40. How do you think your spouse should spend vacations?
41. Do you read?
42. What do you read?
43. After marriage, do you think that you are one to express romantic feelings verbally?
44. After marriage, do you think that you want to express affection in public?
45. How do you express your admiration for someone that you know now?
46. How do you express your feelings to someone who has done a favor for you?
47. Do you like to write your feelings?
48. If you wrong someone, how do you apologize?
49. If someone has wronged you, how do you want (s)he to apologize to you?
50. How much time passes before you can forgive someone?
51. How do you make important and less important decisions in your life?
52. Do you use foul language at home? In public? With family?
53. Do your friends use foul language?
54. Does your family use foul language?
55. How do you express anger?
56. How do you expect your spouse to express anger?
57. What do you do when you are angry?
58. When do you think it is appropriate to initiate mediation in marriage?
59. When there is a dispute in your marriage, religious or otherwise,how should the conflict get resolved?
60. Define mental, verbal, emotional and physical abuse.
61. What would you do if you felt that you had been abused?
62. Who would you call for assistance if you were being abused?
63. Do you suffer from any chronic disease or condition?
64. Are you willing to take a physical exam by a physician before marriage?
65. What is your understanding of proper health and nutrition?
66. How do you support your own health and nutrition?
67. What is you definition of wealth?
68. How do you spend money?
69. How do you save money?
70. How do you think that your use of money will change after marriage?
71. Do you have any debts now? If so, how are you making progress to eliminate them?
72. Do you use credit cards?
73. Do you support the idea of taking loans to buy a new home?
74. What are you expecting from your spouse financially?
75. What is your financial responsibility in the marriage?
76. Do you support the idea of a working wife?
77. If so, how do you think a dual-income family should manage funds?
78. Do you currently use a budget to manage your finances?
79. Who are the people to whom you are financially responsible?
80. Do you support the idea of utilizing baby sitters and/or maids?
81. Do you want to have children? If not, how come?
82. To the best of your understanding, are you able to have children?
83. Do you want to have children in the first two years of marriage? If not, when?
84. Do you believe in abortion?
85. Do you have children now?
86. What is your relationship with your children now?
87. What is your relationship with their other parent?
88. What relationship do you expect your spouse to have with your children and their parent?
89. What is the best method(s) of raising children?
90. What is the best method(s) of disciplining children?
91. How were you raised?
92. How were you disciplined?
93. Do you believe in spanking children? Under what circumstances?
94. Do you believe in public school for your children?
95. Do you believe in Islamic school for your children?
96. Do you believe in home schooling for your children?
97. What type of relationship should your children have with non-Muslim classmates/friends?
98. Would you send your children to visit their extended family if they lived in another state or country?
99. What type of relationship do you want your children to have with all their grandparents?
100. If there are members of my family that are not Muslim, that are of different race or culture, what type of relationship do you want to have with them?
Time Is Not Money (The Muslim’s Duty Regarding Time)
Time Is Not Money (The Muslim’s Duty Regarding
Time)
Islam encourages Muslims to care for time, to utilize it and not to waste it. Besides, it holds them responsible for their time. The Righteous Salaf were aware of that responsibility, so they acted accordingly. Describing their care for time, Hassan Al-Basry said,
“I saw those people and how they were more careful about their time than about their Dirhams and Dinars [i.e. their money].” [Abdullah Ibn-Al-Mubarak, "Az-Zuhd" (Asceticism), p.51.]
An important requirement for a Muslim’s life is to be careful about time, to invest it wisely and to benefit from it. In this regard, Ibn-ul Qayyim says,
“The highest, most worthy and most useful of reflection is what is intended for Allah and the Hereafter. There are various forms of reflection intended for Allah. One of them is reflecting on time duty and function and focusing entirely on it, for the knowledgeable one is the breed of his time. If he wastes it, all his interests are wasted, for all interests arise from time. If he wastes his time, he can never regain it.” Also, Imam Shafi’i said, “Out of my company with Sufis, I benefited only two things, one of which is their saying: like a sword, time will cut you if you do not cut it. …”
In other words, if you do not spend time doing something useful, you are the loser by wasting it.
As expressed by Imam Hassan Al-Banna, “Time is life itself.” This reflects Ibn Qayyim Al-Jawziyyah’s saying:
“One’s time is in fact his age. It is the material of his eternal life either in everlasting joy or painful torture. It passes more quickly than clouds do. It is only the time one dedicates to Allah that constitutes one’s real life and age. The rest does not count; the life he leads in it is only animal life. Compared to a life of indulgence in appetitive activities, false aspirations and negligence of Allah’s remembrance – and at best in sleep and being idle – death is a much better alternative.”
Time is considered a vehicle for work. According to Ibn-ul-Qayyim,
“The year is like a tree, months are its branches, days are the branch sticks, hours are its leaves, and the breaths are its fruits. Therefore, if one’s breaths are in obedience [to Allah and His Messenger], the fruits of his tree are good. If they are in disobedience, his fruits are bitter. The harvest is on the Appointed Day, when one’s fruits are found out to be either good or bitter.”
Such is the Islamic view of time, and such were the ways of the Salaf ways with it. How do we compare with them now?! Obviously, there is a big gap between the way they cared for time and the way we are wasting it. The sad and painful thing about us now is that “our nation has been improvising ways of wasting time at the public and the private levels. As a result, the world is already proceeding to the future without us, as if we were the ‘orphans of history’. If such improvisation is not directed to investing and utilizing our time properly, the gap between us and the future will widen further, and we will remain importers and consumers of cultural products. Eventually, our survival will be entirely dependent on the producers of those products.” [Khuldun Al-Ahdab, "Reflections on the Value of Time"] Therefore, Muslims must unite their efforts to identify weaknesses for treatment, and must give time its due attention as demanded by Islam.
The following are some of the most important duties demanded of Muslims:
Ensuring benefiting from time
Utilizing leisure time
Racing for good deeds
Learning from the passage of time
Seeking the superior times
Planning and organizing time
Fulfillment of time commitments
Necessary awareness of time wasters
Time)
Islam encourages Muslims to care for time, to utilize it and not to waste it. Besides, it holds them responsible for their time. The Righteous Salaf were aware of that responsibility, so they acted accordingly. Describing their care for time, Hassan Al-Basry said,
“I saw those people and how they were more careful about their time than about their Dirhams and Dinars [i.e. their money].” [Abdullah Ibn-Al-Mubarak, "Az-Zuhd" (Asceticism), p.51.]
An important requirement for a Muslim’s life is to be careful about time, to invest it wisely and to benefit from it. In this regard, Ibn-ul Qayyim says,
“The highest, most worthy and most useful of reflection is what is intended for Allah and the Hereafter. There are various forms of reflection intended for Allah. One of them is reflecting on time duty and function and focusing entirely on it, for the knowledgeable one is the breed of his time. If he wastes it, all his interests are wasted, for all interests arise from time. If he wastes his time, he can never regain it.” Also, Imam Shafi’i said, “Out of my company with Sufis, I benefited only two things, one of which is their saying: like a sword, time will cut you if you do not cut it. …”
In other words, if you do not spend time doing something useful, you are the loser by wasting it.
As expressed by Imam Hassan Al-Banna, “Time is life itself.” This reflects Ibn Qayyim Al-Jawziyyah’s saying:
“One’s time is in fact his age. It is the material of his eternal life either in everlasting joy or painful torture. It passes more quickly than clouds do. It is only the time one dedicates to Allah that constitutes one’s real life and age. The rest does not count; the life he leads in it is only animal life. Compared to a life of indulgence in appetitive activities, false aspirations and negligence of Allah’s remembrance – and at best in sleep and being idle – death is a much better alternative.”
Time is considered a vehicle for work. According to Ibn-ul-Qayyim,
“The year is like a tree, months are its branches, days are the branch sticks, hours are its leaves, and the breaths are its fruits. Therefore, if one’s breaths are in obedience [to Allah and His Messenger], the fruits of his tree are good. If they are in disobedience, his fruits are bitter. The harvest is on the Appointed Day, when one’s fruits are found out to be either good or bitter.”
Such is the Islamic view of time, and such were the ways of the Salaf ways with it. How do we compare with them now?! Obviously, there is a big gap between the way they cared for time and the way we are wasting it. The sad and painful thing about us now is that “our nation has been improvising ways of wasting time at the public and the private levels. As a result, the world is already proceeding to the future without us, as if we were the ‘orphans of history’. If such improvisation is not directed to investing and utilizing our time properly, the gap between us and the future will widen further, and we will remain importers and consumers of cultural products. Eventually, our survival will be entirely dependent on the producers of those products.” [Khuldun Al-Ahdab, "Reflections on the Value of Time"] Therefore, Muslims must unite their efforts to identify weaknesses for treatment, and must give time its due attention as demanded by Islam.
The following are some of the most important duties demanded of Muslims:
Ensuring benefiting from time
Utilizing leisure time
Racing for good deeds
Learning from the passage of time
Seeking the superior times
Planning and organizing time
Fulfillment of time commitments
Necessary awareness of time wasters
Marriage in Islam – Purpose and Virtues :: Special Article !
In The name of Allah,The Most Merciful,The Most gracious
Marriage in Islam – Purpose and Virtues :: Special Article !
Islam, unlike other religions is a strong advocate of marriage. There is no place for celibacy like, for example the Roman Catholic priests and nuns. The prophet (peace be upon him) has said
“There is no celibacy in Islam.Marriage is a religious duty and is consequently a moral safeguard as well as a social necessity. Islam does not equal celibacy with high “taqwa/Iman”.
The prophet has also said, ”Marriage is my tradition who so ever keeps away there from is not from amongst me”. [Narrated by Ibn-e-Majah]
Marriage acts as an outlet for sexual needs and regulate it so one does not become a slave to his/ her desires.It is a social necessity because through marriage, families are established and the family is the fundamental unit of our society. Furthermore, marriage is the only legitimate or halal way to indulge in intimacy between a man and a woman.
Islam takes a middle of the road position to sexual relations , it neither condemns it like certain religions, nor does it allow it freely. Islam urges us to control and regulate our desires, whatever they may be so that we remain dignified and not become like animals.
The Qur’an has described this relationship between men and women, which brings love, harmony, trust and compassion, in the most moving and eloquent terms
Among His signs is [the fact] that He has created spouses for you among yourselves so that you may dwell in tranquility with them, and He has planted love and mercy between you; In that are signs for people who reflect. [Quran 20:30]
They are a garment for you and you are a garment to them … [Quran 2:187]
And the believers, men and women, are protecting friends of one another; they enjoin the right and forbid the wrong, and they establish worship and they pay the poor-due, and they obey Allah and His messenger; as for those, Allah will have mercy on them; Lo! Allah is Mighty, Wise. Allah hath promised to believers – men and women – gardens under which rivers flow, to dwell therein, and beautiful mansions in gardens of everlasting bliss; but the greatest bliss is the good pleasure of Allah: This is the supreme felicity. [Quran 9:71-72]
Purpose of Marriage
The word “zawj” is used in the Qur’an to mean a pair or a mate. In general it usage refers to marriage. The general purpose of marriage is that the sexes can provide company to one another, love to one another, procreate children and live in peace and tranquility to the commandments of Allah.
Through Marriage, the conjugal relationship between a man and a woman becomes lawful. It provides a legitimate outlet for recreation as well as procreation. Islam regards sex as natural and good, but restricts it to the partners of marriage so as to ensure the responsibility for its consequences.
Marriage provides spiritual, physical, emotional and psychological companionship. This companionship generates and sustains love, kindness, compassion, mutual confidence, solace and succor (sakinah). It lays a spiritual and legal foundation for raising a family. The children born of the matrimonial union become legitimate and mutual rights of inheritance are established.
Conditions for marrying
For a marriage to be valid certain conditions must be met.
1. Consent of both parties.
One of the conditions of a valid marriage is consent of the couple.
Marriage by definition is a voluntary union of two people.
There are many texts that support the couple in this sensitive issue, for example the report quoted by Imam Bukhari from al-Khansa’ bint Khidam:
“My father married me to his nephew, and I did not like this match, so I complained to the Messenger of Allah (Peace be upon him). He said to me: `Accept what your father has arranged.’ I said, `I do not wish to accept what my father has arranged.’ He said, `Then this marriage is invalid, go and marry whomever you wish.’ I said, `I have accepted what my father has arranged, but I wanted women to know that fathers have no right in their daughter’s matters (i.e. they have no right to force a marriage on them”
At first, the Prophet (Peace be upon him) told al-Khansa’ to obey her father, and this is as it should be, because the concern of fathers for their daughters’ well-being is well-known. But when he realized that her father wanted to force her into a marriage she did not want, he gave her the freedom to choose, and saved her from the oppression of a father who wanted to force her into an unwanted marriage.
Islam does not want to impose an unbearable burden man or woman by forcing them to marry someone whom they dislike, because it wants marriages to be successful, based on compatibility between the partners; there should be common ground between them in terms of physical looks, attitudes, habits, inclinations and aspirations.
2. “Mahr” a gift from the groom to his bride.
Mahr is the gift that is given by the husband to his wife at wedding. It can be anything in any amount, as agreed by the bride and bride-groom. Allah says about Mahr in the Chapter `Woman’ in Quran:
And give the women (on marriage) their Mahr as a free gift .. [Quran 4:4]
But if you had given the latter a cantar (of gold i.e. a great amount) for dower (Mahr) take not the least bit of it back … [Quran 4:20]
Marry with whom?
Allah also gives us freedom and urges us to:
“Marry the women of your choice..” [Quran 4:3]
Choose the righteous partner,
“This world is just temporary conveniences, and the best comfort in this world is a righteous women.” Sahih Muslim 10/56, Kitab al-rida’, bab istihbab nikah al-bikr.
No-one is a suitable partner for the good, believing woman except a good, believing man; and no-one is a suitable partner for the wayward, immoral woman but a wayward, immoral man, as Allah Subhana Wa ta’Alla has said:
Women impure are for men impure, and men impure for women impure, and women of purity are for men of purity, and men of purity are for women of purity (Qur’an 24:26)
This does not mean that the Muslim woman or man should completely ignore the matter of physical appearance, and put up with unattractiveness or ugliness. It is their right to marry a person for whom his/her heart may be filled with love, and who is pleasing to both in appearance and in conduct. Appearance should not be neglected at the expense of inner nature, or vice versa. A woman should choose a man who is attractive to her in all aspects, one who will gain her admiration and respect. The true Muslim is never dazzled by outward appearances.
For Muslim men and women – for believing men and women, for devout men and women, for true men and women, for men and women who are constant and patient, for men and women who humble themselves, for men and women who give in charity, for men and women who fast [and deny themselves], for men and women who guard their chastity, and for men and women who engage much in Allah’s praise – for them has Allah prepared forgiveness and great reward.) (Qur’an 33:35)
In order to achieve this great goal of strengthening the marriage bond, and establishing a stable family life, it is essential to choose the right partner in the first place.
“A woman is married for (one of) four reasons: her wealth, her status, her beauty and her religious devotion. So marry the religious woman, else you be a loser.” (Saheeh Al-Bukhari)
Marriage in Islam – Purpose and Virtues :: Special Article !
Islam, unlike other religions is a strong advocate of marriage. There is no place for celibacy like, for example the Roman Catholic priests and nuns. The prophet (peace be upon him) has said
“There is no celibacy in Islam.Marriage is a religious duty and is consequently a moral safeguard as well as a social necessity. Islam does not equal celibacy with high “taqwa/Iman”.
The prophet has also said, ”Marriage is my tradition who so ever keeps away there from is not from amongst me”. [Narrated by Ibn-e-Majah]
Marriage acts as an outlet for sexual needs and regulate it so one does not become a slave to his/ her desires.It is a social necessity because through marriage, families are established and the family is the fundamental unit of our society. Furthermore, marriage is the only legitimate or halal way to indulge in intimacy between a man and a woman.
Islam takes a middle of the road position to sexual relations , it neither condemns it like certain religions, nor does it allow it freely. Islam urges us to control and regulate our desires, whatever they may be so that we remain dignified and not become like animals.
The Qur’an has described this relationship between men and women, which brings love, harmony, trust and compassion, in the most moving and eloquent terms
Among His signs is [the fact] that He has created spouses for you among yourselves so that you may dwell in tranquility with them, and He has planted love and mercy between you; In that are signs for people who reflect. [Quran 20:30]
They are a garment for you and you are a garment to them … [Quran 2:187]
And the believers, men and women, are protecting friends of one another; they enjoin the right and forbid the wrong, and they establish worship and they pay the poor-due, and they obey Allah and His messenger; as for those, Allah will have mercy on them; Lo! Allah is Mighty, Wise. Allah hath promised to believers – men and women – gardens under which rivers flow, to dwell therein, and beautiful mansions in gardens of everlasting bliss; but the greatest bliss is the good pleasure of Allah: This is the supreme felicity. [Quran 9:71-72]
Purpose of Marriage
The word “zawj” is used in the Qur’an to mean a pair or a mate. In general it usage refers to marriage. The general purpose of marriage is that the sexes can provide company to one another, love to one another, procreate children and live in peace and tranquility to the commandments of Allah.
Through Marriage, the conjugal relationship between a man and a woman becomes lawful. It provides a legitimate outlet for recreation as well as procreation. Islam regards sex as natural and good, but restricts it to the partners of marriage so as to ensure the responsibility for its consequences.
Marriage provides spiritual, physical, emotional and psychological companionship. This companionship generates and sustains love, kindness, compassion, mutual confidence, solace and succor (sakinah). It lays a spiritual and legal foundation for raising a family. The children born of the matrimonial union become legitimate and mutual rights of inheritance are established.
Conditions for marrying
For a marriage to be valid certain conditions must be met.
1. Consent of both parties.
One of the conditions of a valid marriage is consent of the couple.
Marriage by definition is a voluntary union of two people.
There are many texts that support the couple in this sensitive issue, for example the report quoted by Imam Bukhari from al-Khansa’ bint Khidam:
“My father married me to his nephew, and I did not like this match, so I complained to the Messenger of Allah (Peace be upon him). He said to me: `Accept what your father has arranged.’ I said, `I do not wish to accept what my father has arranged.’ He said, `Then this marriage is invalid, go and marry whomever you wish.’ I said, `I have accepted what my father has arranged, but I wanted women to know that fathers have no right in their daughter’s matters (i.e. they have no right to force a marriage on them”
At first, the Prophet (Peace be upon him) told al-Khansa’ to obey her father, and this is as it should be, because the concern of fathers for their daughters’ well-being is well-known. But when he realized that her father wanted to force her into a marriage she did not want, he gave her the freedom to choose, and saved her from the oppression of a father who wanted to force her into an unwanted marriage.
Islam does not want to impose an unbearable burden man or woman by forcing them to marry someone whom they dislike, because it wants marriages to be successful, based on compatibility between the partners; there should be common ground between them in terms of physical looks, attitudes, habits, inclinations and aspirations.
2. “Mahr” a gift from the groom to his bride.
Mahr is the gift that is given by the husband to his wife at wedding. It can be anything in any amount, as agreed by the bride and bride-groom. Allah says about Mahr in the Chapter `Woman’ in Quran:
And give the women (on marriage) their Mahr as a free gift .. [Quran 4:4]
But if you had given the latter a cantar (of gold i.e. a great amount) for dower (Mahr) take not the least bit of it back … [Quran 4:20]
Marry with whom?
Allah also gives us freedom and urges us to:
“Marry the women of your choice..” [Quran 4:3]
Choose the righteous partner,
“This world is just temporary conveniences, and the best comfort in this world is a righteous women.” Sahih Muslim 10/56, Kitab al-rida’, bab istihbab nikah al-bikr.
No-one is a suitable partner for the good, believing woman except a good, believing man; and no-one is a suitable partner for the wayward, immoral woman but a wayward, immoral man, as Allah Subhana Wa ta’Alla has said:
Women impure are for men impure, and men impure for women impure, and women of purity are for men of purity, and men of purity are for women of purity (Qur’an 24:26)
This does not mean that the Muslim woman or man should completely ignore the matter of physical appearance, and put up with unattractiveness or ugliness. It is their right to marry a person for whom his/her heart may be filled with love, and who is pleasing to both in appearance and in conduct. Appearance should not be neglected at the expense of inner nature, or vice versa. A woman should choose a man who is attractive to her in all aspects, one who will gain her admiration and respect. The true Muslim is never dazzled by outward appearances.
For Muslim men and women – for believing men and women, for devout men and women, for true men and women, for men and women who are constant and patient, for men and women who humble themselves, for men and women who give in charity, for men and women who fast [and deny themselves], for men and women who guard their chastity, and for men and women who engage much in Allah’s praise – for them has Allah prepared forgiveness and great reward.) (Qur’an 33:35)
In order to achieve this great goal of strengthening the marriage bond, and establishing a stable family life, it is essential to choose the right partner in the first place.
“A woman is married for (one of) four reasons: her wealth, her status, her beauty and her religious devotion. So marry the religious woman, else you be a loser.” (Saheeh Al-Bukhari)
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